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Don't want to jinx myself, but last night was our best night since his first week home! He slept in three 3-hr chunks of time and went straight back down after nursing. Again today I was really careful to not let him stay up too long, we did the bedtime routine, and his mood has been pretty good today and yesterday. The only hiccup is that he seems to be deciding that he just doesn't like the bottle, which is another conversation--tonight my husband tried to give him a big one and he only took 2.5 oz. I was hell-bent on tanking him up though, so then I took him and nursed him and he did an almost-complete nursing session on top of that. Even if it doesn't go as well again immediately, I'm going to stick with this plan for a while and give it a chance
@Pumpkin Pie: @gingerbebe: like both of you said, I've read all over the place that that second month is a real doozy
on top of dealing with it, I'm bummed that everything will (FX god-willing) be going better by the third month, when I have to put him in day care and go back to work. I had a fantasy that my mat leave was going to be this fun staycation with the baby. bah. @Pumpkin Pie: maybe your second will be a unicorn!
@winniebee: got it, thanks
@ShootingStar: @Silva: yes, it does feel like forever even though I hear yall. on the other hand, (similar to how I'm frustrated to be wasting my mat leave in the breastfeeding/no sleep bell jar) I also feel like this precious time when he's teensy is going by fast, and I'm so preoccupied trying to keep my head above water that I'm missing it and not fully appreciating it. is this just what the newborn days are all about?
@gingerbebe: I bought the Weissbluth book after @SweetiePie: and others recommended it--I've dipped a toe in it and gotten about as far as the height of fussiness business
I'm hoping to keep it in check as much as possible by being militant about avoiding the over-tired trap, which I'm just now getting the hang of. I'll batten down the hatches mentally though (even though my mental game is mush). Don't know if you saw, but ShootingStar also mentioned the first nap being key thing, which I *never* would have known. Definitely going to move him to his crib (which is still like spitting distance from our bed--tiny apt) in a couple of weeks, as he's going to outgrow the RNP soon anyway. And thanks for the tip on lining up help, my mom will be here Thursday (finally) and she is fantastic with babies, so looking forward to getting some relief from her. One more question--did you follow the Weissbluth book really closely in establishing the sleep schedule with your boys, or did you mix in other advice?
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@LCTBQE: I'm glad you've seen a bit of improvement! A big thing to remember is that consistency is key. I think many people try something (like shortening the wake time) once or twice and say "it doesn't work". But just like anything with babies (or humans really) it takes a bit of time to get into a new routine! And when they are consistently overtired it might take some time to get out of that cycle. But it sounds like you're already on the right track!
Well done, mama! -
@lamariniere: @SweetiePie: @looch: @kiddosc: @Pumpkin Pie: @BadgerMom: @Shantuck: @Mrs. Champagne: @ShootingStar: @winniebee: @gingerbebe: ladies, wanted to check in and thank you all for your advice--we are **sleeping**!!!! over here. last week when I started taking all of your recommendations, the baby slept the first night in 3-hour chunks, second night I got 4 hours, third night I got 5, and a couple days later, 6 hours at a time. we could barely believe it. he now seems to be wavering between 5-6.5 hours for the first block of time after bedtime, and I'm getting 3-4 hours for the second block, which (amazingly) means I'm only waking for one nightly feeding around 3am. when I wrote this post out of desperation I think I had done four feedings the night before.
@Mrs. Champagne: we do your bedtime routine exactly and LOVE it
I thought he was too young to implement something like that and have it make a difference, but it's such a good punctuation to end the day, and it's working! @winniebee: @gingerbebe: I don't know why I had it in my head that moving him to his crib would be this BFD, but I did last week and he is sleeping so much better in there than he was in the rock n play--thanks for sharing that you did this, it has helped for sure.
@Shantuck: tank-up feed=incredible
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@LCTBQE: So so happy to hear this
You may still hit some bumps in the road with regressions and so forth, but as a whole if you remain consistent it'll just get better and better. Before you know it LO will be 2 years old and the few months of sleeplessness will seem like a blip on the radar a lifetime ago! When your baby practically leaps out of your arms to go to sleep in the crib, you'll be so glad you put the work in early. Make sure your caregivers when you go back to work are 100% on the same page as you to keep it going! I was crystal clear that my nanny (and MIL) was not to nap in the stroller, pick up at every cry, go past his nap time, etc and it really helped to continue the work Id put in.
xoxo -
@LCTBQE: that's amazing! I remember what a relief it was and what a huge difference it made for me when I started finally getting some sleep again. Keep it up little guy!
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@LCTBQE: Yay this makes me so happy!! One thing I did to eliminate that nightfeed and get him out of the habit of eating at night was to do a dreamfeed before I went to bed. So the baby's bedtime would be at 730pm, but I would go get him at 1030pm, change his diaper to wake him up just a tad, and then feed him a bottle while we rocked and snuggled. He'd usually take a few ounces before being out cold in my arms and then I'd put him back down. That would get me to bed by 11pm and the baby would sleep until 7-730am. Once he was sleeping reliably from dreamfeed to morning, I worked on dropping it (reduce ounces, move the dreamfeed up earlier by 30 minutes every few days, etc).
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@LCTBQE: Oh, I just saw your earlier question. I did not actually follow Weissbluth. We tried all sorts of things with our first baby (colicky psycho nightmare newborn that didn't sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time for like 2 months) and what worked for him was a combination of Baby Whisperer and Babywise techniques because he was (and at 2 year old, still is) a child that gets easily overstimulated and really thrives on a rigid, predictable schedule. DS2 has a much more flexible personality, but we put him on a schedule from day 1 to keep up with his brother and used the same techniques (lock down that morning nap, consistent daily wake time and bedtime, watch for overtiredness, sleep in their own cribs, consistent bedtime routine, eat/play/sleep, make sure they get good activity during their play times, etc).
http://www.babywisemom.com is a great resource for sleep stuff and scheduling type information.
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Saving for when this baby comes in a few weeks
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@NorthStar: this thread saved. my. life.
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@LCTBQE: how/when did you move your baby to the crib? Did you start with naps or bedtime? My baby is 7 weeks and I have yet to move him to the crib. Right now he's in the swing (without motion all night). He is having a hard time making it through a sleep cycle for naps and wakes at 45 minutes or 1 hour and if I turn on the swing I am able to extend his naps. But I'm wondering if I should just move him to the crib and deal with the catnaps. It's weird bc he sleeps long stretches for night (5-6 hours)
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@sandy: I use this hierarchy:
Baby sleeps when they should
For as long as they should
Where they shouldSo I would work on getting your baby to sleep for 90 minutes to 2 hours first so that they are in the habit of taking longer naps first and then prioritize the crib. That said I would probably start naps in the crib and move to a swing mid-nap after trying to let the baby fuss for a little while rather than start there. We did RNP to bassinet/PNP around 4-5 weeks with DS2 and we did it by elevating the mattress on one side, tight swaddle, putting one of my dirty shirts underneath the sheet and packing warm rice socks along his legs to feel cozy and held. We also did dark room and white noise.
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@gingerbebe: thank you for responding! I like that hierarchy
We've been doing some light sleep training and he's been doing great putting himself down for naps and bedtime but has struggled with getting through more than one sleep cycle for most naps. Today was a success and he went down for his first nap without crying and has been sleeping for almost 2 hours so I think we are getting there! I know they change so much every week - I just stress about transitions. We have him in the swing bc we want him upright for reflux but I know eventually we'll need to move him to the crib. I think I'll try in the next few days when he is consistently sleeping through more than one sleep cycle. Thanks again for responding! These newborn days are tough!
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@sandy: Yeah both my boys had reflux, so I totally understand. Weeks 5 to 8-10 were the absolute worst for both boys, but we were able to make the transition to the separate sleep space with the elevated crib/bassinet situation. You're doing great!
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@sandy: congrats on the new boo! Sounds like you guys are doing great. I moved our baby from the RNP to his crib (in the nursery but like 6 feet from our bed still) at 5 weeks. He was squirming around in the rnp and clearly wanted to stretch out, and then he slept better after the move--BUT he didn't have any reflux. Dunno what the safety deal is with them, but I've heard of like foam wedges for the crib specifically for reflux?
Also, just so you don't feel alone, our baby wouldn't get through more than one sleep cycle until he was about 14 weeks--SO exhausting, for all of us. And I did everything on earth and tried like hell to get him to sleep, but it was always 40 minutes, almost to the minute. It was frustrating because he was clearly tired and he'd just become increasingly over-tired as the day went on, and it was super difficult to keep the EASY schedule. After maybe 13-14 weeks he started napping and daytime got much better. Good luck
ETA we did naps and night at the same time with the move to the crib and it was a total non-issue. And just saw gingerbebe's advice on elevating the crib mattress on an incline--sounds like a simpler solution than the wedge! -
Commenting so I can stalk this thread in a few months
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Gah! Dealing with an almost 4 week old who cant sleep unless being held!
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@Pumpkin Pie: that's very common! And all I would say is keep trying to put baby down drowsy but awake in their designated sleep space (whatever you want that to be for now - crib, RnP, bassinet, etc). It will feel like a fruitless effort for a long time, but reinforcing over and over that "this is where you should be sleeping" will be good. And as LO "matures" (4 weeks is so little still) they eventually get it and don't need the snuggles as much. Think of it this way - if you don't try to put him/her down for naps/sleep, they'll DEFINITELY never learn! And it gets harder as they get older.
A very close friend had this issue including for nigh sleep! She was going mad having to hold her daughter for night sleep as well. But, she just tried to put her down in the bassinet every. Single. Time. And slowly the reaction became less and less and then tada! It worked! It took a couple of months but she eventually got "hey this is my bed". The consistency paid off!
Oh and the hierarchy @gingerbebe: 100%
Hang in there!!!
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Perfect timing for this thread to pop up. We're already doing the obvious stuff but I want to try some of these suggestions on my 6 week old.
Anyone know how much expressed milk to try to feed at bedtime? I have no idea how much he is actually eating.
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@catlady: maybe MrsChampagne or someone told me to do a HUGE tank-up bottle as part of the Bedtime routine--this was a total game-changer for us. just a couple days in a row, try giving him like a 5 or 6 oz bottle just to see how much of that he'll drink. at 6 weeks my boo was doing like 3.5-4 oz for bedtime feed (biggest feed of the day)--but if you offer more than he can drink, you'll know where his max capacity is
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@LCTBQE: Thanks, we will definitely try this!
on top of dealing with it, I'm bummed that everything will (FX god-willing) be going better by the third month, when I have to put him in day care and go back to work. I had a fantasy that my mat leave was going to be this fun staycation with the baby. bah. 
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