My best friend from childhood just recently told me she is an alcoholic and has been sober for a year, I'm so proud of her. She is coming tonight to visit as she is back in our home town for Easter weekend. She said she doesn't mind if others drink in front of her, but I'm wondering if it would be a faux pas to offer her a non alcoholic beer? I have some left over from when I was pregnant. Obviously if she doesn't want it she can always say no thanks, but do you think the act of just offering it is rude or insensitive? On one hand I think offering a recovering alcoholic an alcoholic drink it terrible, but on the other hand it's non alcoholic and I want to make sure she feels special and has something nice to drink and it doesn't have any alcohol in it..... I'm not sure if I should offer her one or not. What do you think?
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I say if she's only one year sober then no. I feel like a beverage in a typically alcoholic container is almost like a tease.
I know recovering alcoholics who drink NA beer at social events. But they've been sober for many years.
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I wouldn't offer it.
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I wouldn't buy it special for her but if it is already in your fridge I don't see the issue in mentioning it? Like hey... what do you want to drink? I've got water, coke, juice, and non-alcoholic beer left over from my pregnancy? I just wouldn't make it a big deal. If she doesn't want it she'll say no.
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I wouldn't offer it either.
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I wouldn't offer it. I would make sure to have a few interesting drinks like flavored seltzer, soda, whatever, instead of only water, though.
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nope, don't do it. have things like cans or bottles of seltzer, soda, etc.
It could be a trigger, and some non-alcoholic beers do contain small amounts of alcohol (up to .5% I think). Some people are comfortable with that, others are not. -
I wouldn't offer it either. I agree with @Foodnerd81: have some exciting non alcoholic drinks on hand or maybe whip up some mocktails.
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@Mae: It can be a trigger for some recovering alcoholics, especially if they've only been sober a year.
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No, I have many recovering friends and none of them drink non alcoholic beer. Most drink soda, lots of coffee, or sparking water or cider at gatherings.
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Definitely a no. A better gesture may be abstaining yourself to show support maybe ?
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Don't offer. DH is 13 years sober and likes funky sodas, seltzer and COFFEE!!! While non alcoholic beer may not technically be breaking sobriety, it is considered a slippery slope. Plus it honk there's a touch of alcohol in it in which case it WOULD be breaking sobriety.
It's really thoughtful tht you're thinking of how to be inclusive
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No, don't offer it. Do have a fun punch/ drink available though. It could be as simple as lemonade or sprite/7up mixed with fruit punch. I am sure your other guests would enjoy that too!
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Yeah definitely not. Many non-alc beers have small amounts of alcohol in it. Not to mention the taste would be a big trigger.
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I would make a delicious punch.
If you're up to it, I made a GREAT one for E's bday. It had a can of pink lemonade, ginger ale, pineapple juice, and raspberry sherbert.
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I wouldn't offer it. Most non-alcoholic beer still has SOME booze in it. I have a friend who is 10 years sober and still buys special mouthwash.
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@blackbird: My mom made a similar one for my baby shower and it was SO GOOD!
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@littlebug: yes this - nonalcoholic beer still has some alcohol in it. I also think the act of having a "beer" might trigger the social aspects of drinking, which, like cigarettes, are one of the reasons those addictions are so hard to break.
We have several sober friends, one drinks coffee like it's going out of style, the other likes craft or local (aka, nice! Lol) soda.
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Thanks everyone for your opinions, I tend to agree that it is so similar to drinking a real beer that it could be a trigger, I've got lots of soda, juice and coffee and some sparking water to mix up a fancy fizzy drink. She doesn't know I was pregnant, two miscarriages, so perhaps I'll just leave the bottles in the back of the fridge.
I'm just so proud of her, I really want to show my support, I don't plan of having anything to drink tonight, and will make some yummy drinks if she wants, or just some coffe/tea maybe.
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@Mrsk: Sounds like you are being a really supportive friend! A lot of people don't understand addiction and can be unintentionally disrespectful or even put friends' recovery at risk by being thoughtless. I (and I"m sure your friend) appreciate that you are thinking of her and being so sensitive and supportive!
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I agree, if its in your fridge, just leave it there. If she's looking for a drink, maybe casually mention it or just direct her to the fridge.
But I would be more concerned about making sure there are other drink options for her (punch, soda, tea, lemonade, flavored water, etc).
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No way, non-alcoholic beer still has some alcohol in it. Which totally defeats the purpose and makes the name pointless, but it's almost always the case. And like others said, the flavor could be a trigger.
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Like PP I would say no, the taste alone may bring back the need for a recovering alcoholic so early in her recovery. Have other options on hand or ask her what she would like to drink.
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