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@periwinklebee: That makes me feel a bit better. All of my movements recently have been down low, so maybe she’s got her legs stretched out up by her head/arms? We’ll see. I’ve been reading about natural ways to flip her just in case though, too, because it feels like this is kind of a murphy’s law pregnancy.
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@karenbme:
Another thing to look out for to figure out the position could be hiccups.... not all babies have them, by any means, but if yours does, once you're able to recognize them this can be a pretty good indication of position, because it makes their head twitch back and forth. DS had them so much (and after he was born too) - at first I thought he was trying to poke his way out my cervix and only later realized it was his head twitching back and forth with hiccups. I think I'm just now starting to feel them with this baby, as I've started noticing a sort of repeated, slightly ticklish movement near my cervix again......
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@periwinklebee: I don’t think she’s had any hiccups yet, I can’t imagine getting tickled near your cervix 🤪 but most mornings I can feel her back and either a head or butt along whichever side I’ve been lying on. I’m pretty sure this morning it was her head was up above my belly button because it was pretty round and didn’t move right away when I pushed on it. There’s also something knobby up high, which could be either a hand or foot, but in my mind feels more like fist than a foot, so idk. She’s been really active—when I was doing the weekly high risk ultrasounds she flipped literally every week—I just worry that she’s running out of time/space at this point.
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@karenbme: I never could manage to tell the difference between a head and a bum
Really hope she gets head down and stays that way!
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@karenbme: definitely is not running out of time/space yet! my first flipped around a lot, sounds like same as yours, and was breech as late as 34 or 35 weeks. even then the doctors weren't that concerned and he wound up flipping himself head down. if she's been flipping a lot already, she definitely has time to continue to do that. also, FWIW, as hard as i was trying to figure out if he had flipped, or how, or where i was feeling movement, i could never figure it out or tell when he was flipping. it can be really hard to tell what's going on in there!
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@nwm: Sorry! I missed the notification on this somehow. Good to hear that she still has time/space to move around. I may also just be paranoid because nothing has gone wrong in like 6 weeks.
Is anyone else thinking about Halloween costumes? At the beginning of this pregnancy I was excited to figure out something cool to do with the bump this Halloween (Violet Beauregard from Willy Wonka was a front runner), but now I'm mostly just tired. And adding making a costume to everything else on our plates to prepare for this baby just seems like too much. I might buy something pre-made, but that's not nearly as fun.
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@karenbme: I love the idea of Violet! It probably wouldn't be too difficult... just some face paint and a blue dress. We are doing our third year of family costumes. We are all going as characters from a Disney Junior cartoon that DD loves. I have to make OH's and my costumes, but I usually just phone in the adult costumes. His is pretty much going to be a felt cutout glued to a shirt. Mine is gray leggings, a black dress with a felt moon, and an eye mask. I am guessing 45 minutes tops to make our costumes.
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hey ladies! how is everyone doing/feeling? things have started to move quickly now that we are past labor day and i'm getting excited/nervous. i'd be curious to hear what everyone's leave and childcare plans are. if you already have kids, how are you changing things up to welcome the new addition?
we have a nanny and while this is without a doubt the best choice for our family, i am starting to worry about how overwhelming three is going to be for her. (she doesn't seem as worried, lol.) also, my dad retired this summer and i thought my parents would potentially pitch in on a more regular basis, but dealing with them lately i'm getting the feeling they would rather have it more be a random/stop-by basis than a regular part of the routine.
@Ms. RV: those costumes sound so adorable! i do not have the creativity to pull off a family costume. DS is asking to be a firefighter again this year, and i don't want to subject DD to a second year as a dalmatian, so i'm thinking i'll have to come up with an alternative costume for her. we have a pretty cute hand me down chicken costume, so i may check if she's big enough for it. @karenbme: have you thought any further about costumes?
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@nwm: I’m totally getting excited/nervous, now, too! DH and I were talking a couple days ago about how real it’s getting. After our losses I think we’ve both been one foot in one foot out until recently, but now it’s definitely happening.
We were lucky enough to line up a daycare spot at a good center starting in mid Jan, which will be early if I go to term, but potentially late if she comes early. The location means DH will have most of the pick up/drop off responsibilities since it’s right on the way for him but would add 45 minutes to my commute. But our commutes go in opposite directions so that was going to be the case one way or another and it’s good to have something set up for approximately the right time, which is more than most people in our area can say. And we already know a couple of families that go to this center and really like it, so we feel lucky.
I’m sure your nanny will be able to handle three. Has she done three kids before? It’s definitely a lot for one person, and I’m sure there will be days that push her, but if she seems excited that’s gotta be a good thing.
I nannied three school aged kids for a couple summers, in high school/college and it was totally doable. Littles are harder, but she’ll get it.
My leave plan isn’t final yet, but I’m lucky enough to have have 12 weeks paid at 67%. I’m thinking about 10-11 weeks of full leave and then starting back part time for 2-4 weeks to transition. The tough part is I have a role in some federal compliance work due the first week of Feb. that I’m not sure who on the team can handle while I’m gone—it requires some technical skills that my new analyst doesn’t have yet and I’ve started to train her, but she’s only been on the job a couple months and if it’s not right we could lose our accreditation. It might be that I sneak in a few hours of work here and there when I’m on leave, but I’m not thrilled about that option. DH is planning to take at least the first 6 weeks too, so we’ll both have plenty of time with our girl when she gets here. And then he’ll still have 2 more weeks of paid dependent care time to use as needed/wanted. What’s your plan for leave?
And, no, I haven’t thought any more about costumes. We’re probably not going out this year—I won’t be up for parties—and I’ve never been a costume at work person so it would just be for handing out candy, and that I can do in a T-shirt and sweats. 🤷♀️
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@karenbme: YAY! i am so glad you are feeling like it's all real now. and that is wonderful that you found a spot at a daycare you had personal recs for. plus if you know families there that is so great because hopefully you have something of a built in community. sounds like an added bonus that pickup/dropoff will be on your dh, too
though i could definitely see myself struggling to give up control on that one.i am sure you are right our nanny can totally handle it. the biggest issue is that we're in the city, so we walk EVERYWHERE, or take public transit. that already can be a bit logistically difficult with three, but also our nanny had her knee replaced last year and still has some mobility limitations, so sometimes i just get stressed about how hard it will be for her to wrangle all the kids, at least until our older one is feeling SLIGHTLY more in control of himself (he's pretty good now but still gives me the impression he could dart off into traffic if he gets too excited) and our younger gets to be a much better walker. anyway--we will figure it out, and/or just keep the kids inside for a while
re: leave, the february issue is tricky, and i hear you on not wanting to do a few hours here or there, it can be really tough as well to just be sort-of working. i found when i tried to do something similar before i really sacrificed sleep because i could only work night hours. otherwise it's just too easy to be consumed with the baby, unless you get dedicated child care and then leave the house. i have super generous leave (16 weeks paid), but i'm honestly thinking about taking only about 8. i'm a partner at my firm, so my relationship to that benefit is a bit different than it would be if i was still a salaried employee, plus i have a couple of cases that are full throttle that i'd like to return to sooner than later. and, truth be told, i struggle with leave, i truly just love to be working and am generally excited to be back to it. i also wonder if it's less confusing for my older two for me to stay in the work routine somewhat--my oldest had a really hard time adjusting when i went back to work last time. on the plus side, i'm fortunate enough to be able to say i will play it by ear somewhat!
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@nwm: Re: loving your work, THANK YOU for saying that. The reason I tell people my plan is to start back part time is because I can't imagine being away from my work for three months. Really my plan is to start back part time probably as soon as our child care opens up, which would be ~8 weeks if I deliver around my due date, and transition back to full time as I'm comfortable within the 2 months of part time leave that our policy would dictate. My work is so mentally/intellectually fulfilling to me and something I genuinely love about 70% of the time. Obviously as a first time mom I have no idea what things are going to be like once the baby arrives, but I know myself well enough to assume that within the first 8 weeks if not sooner I'm going to want an intellectual outlet. Every time I say that to someone, even people I really trust, they kind of smirk and say something along the lines of "I don't think you'll be bored." Which is not what I mean, just that I feel like I'm going to need an outlet. Also, if I just wanted to go in for half days for a week to do the compliance work before our daycare start date, DH has additional paid family leave available through the first year and I'm sure if we needed another layer MIL (who is retired) would be happy to come up and spend some time with baby girl. Side note: I also feel extremely lucky to have all these options available.
Sorry to hear that your kiddo had a tough time when you transitioned back. I don't know if a few extra weeks would make a difference, though. Obviously you know your children, but if you're home for two months they're still going to get used to the different rhythm of the days. Two months is an eternity in kid time--almost a whole summer vacation. I hope taking less time/them being older helps though.
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@karenbme: thank YOU for saying it too! i'm trying to be a little more vocal about how i feel because i don't think you hear this perspective enough. i heard so many times with my first that i'd change my mind--like, DH was financially trying to plan for the possibility i'd just decide to give up my career--that i started to wonder myself if maybe having a baby would make me a completely different person who didn't want to go back to work. guess what? it didn't! i seriously feel i am a better and more loving parent when i get to go do my job and come home at the end of the day. sounds like you are far wiser and more in touch with yourself than i was for my first
it's a very good point about two months being an eternity for kids. i guess i am hoping that given there is a lot of holiday time in there, the disruption will all be part of the holidays and once school is continuing for my son especially, he won't notice changes in the routine as much. last mat leave, my DD was a summer baby and our nanny had her knee replacement surgery so was out for 3 months, so it was a pretty dramatic change all around. no surprise he had a harder time with it.
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@karenbme: I think a gradual transition back from mat leave often works really well - time both for baby to gradually adjust to daycare and the whole family to adjust to the new routine. I really wish more employers would support it, and think it's awesome if you can swing it!
By the end of mat leave I was ready to go back to work. Granted, my husband had only one week of parental leave and we have no family nearby, so I was home all day every day on my own with the baby. He cluster fed all evening and all night when DH was home, so there was really no break from it during mat leave...
I enjoy my job and am lucky to have access to really great childcare that is very enriching for DS (though there were a few early bumps in the road until we found our current arrangement). It's a win-win for our family and I feel so incredibly lucky to live in an era where childcare and work opportunities are available for women!
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just found out i failed my 1 hr glucose test. i have not experienced this before. blergh. next i have to go in for the three hour.
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I love hearing that other people look forward to going back to work. I (mostly) love my job and I hate having to prepare other people for my leave so they can cover the technical stuff when I am gone. I am taking 10 weeks (all paid). If I get a C-section I can get 12 weeks paid, but then I eat through all of my job protection. I am debating when to put DS in daycare. We have a spot for whenever he turns six weeks and luckily they are flexible enough to let me decide after he is born when to send him.
@nwm: Ugh! That stinks! Do you know how much you failed by?
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@periwinklebee: Yeah, I’m really happy my employer is so flexible. Sorry to hear you didn’t have a lot of help last time. Will your husband get more leave this time, or will you be able to have others around?
@nwm: Boo! I’m sorry. A friend of mine had gd with her first and said the three hour wasn’t awful as a test, but it was a pain to schedule and apparently really boring.
@Ms. RV: That’s great that your daycare is flexible. We agonized over what date to put on the form.
Found out yesterday baby flipped to head down. She’s still up high so they’re not worried that she’s coming anytime soon, but it makes me feel better to know that if she did she’s in the right position.
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@Ms. RV: yay, that’s great you have that flexibility with daycare start! Maybe even means you can ease in.
@Ms. RV: @karenbme: thanks ladies! I’ve comforted myself that the very large lunch I ate directly before taking the test is responsible for this result. The three hour is kind of a pain cause I go in at 7:30 and have to stay at the doctor for 3 hours, but hoping at least I get a good result. 11 weeks without ice cream (or alcohol since that already out!) would be sad indeed.
@karenbme: awesome! So glad she flipped!
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@karenbme: so happy to hear baby is head down! Things are a bit up in the air, my husband is inclined to switch jobs, but I'm hoping he'll stick with his current one until the baby is at least a couple of months (last time he started a new job two weeks before LO was born, hence the lack of leave....) Granted all DS wanted to do was nurse around the clock anyways (he had a tongue tie that was misdiagnosed and didn't get fixed until around 12 weeks, so wasn't a very effective eater)...
@nwm: Good luck with the three hour!
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@periwinklebee: thanks!! hope your DH can stick it out long enough to have some leave : ) my DH was always saying it was worthless to take leave because i was doing all the feeding, but it was sooo nice to have company on the days of leave he did take.
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@nwm: Thank you! Yes agreed! And I think it's such good bonding for them too. Last time for the first few months I pumped and had DH give LO a bedtime bottle. It wasn't really a break for me, in that I was pumping while he was giving DS the bottle - my supply was never good enough that I could pump enough and skip that session (this time around I'd probably be lazy and top up with formula and take a nap
) But I thought it was a great bonding experience for them...
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@periwinklebee: Fingers crossed your husband sticks it out. And has some time to bond with your LO. Even if he’s not doing most of the feeding, being there has got to have value for bonding. Plus feeding is def not the only thing that babies need.
For those of you looking to trade in a car before baby, when are you trying to get it done? DH is trading in his Subaru for a VW Alltrack, but, long story short, he’s convinced himself that he needs a configuration that isn’t available within 200 miles except one car that’s “stuck in port” and won’t be at the dealer until mid October at the earliest. I feel like he’s being unreasonable insisting on that car when there are other cars that are the same except for the color that we could close on tomorrow (and that the dealer has offered us an extra $1000 off). I just worry that we’ll wind up needing to handle the car purchase with a baby in the NICU or a very tiny infant, which wouldn’t be ideal at all.
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@nwm: I’m sorry about the three hour. I had to do that with my second and it was a pain, but I passed it. You’re probably right about the lunch. With my second I wasn’t able to go in for my one hour test until late in the afternoon. With the other two pregnancies, I went in first thing in the morning and passed.
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@karenbme: We got our new vehicle about two weeks ago. I wanted to get it done by the end of summer because I’m a teacher and had more flexibility before school started. I think I’d be a little nervous too with the timeline you’ve mentioned, although I’m sure it’ll work out fine!
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@LemonJack: thank you! that is very good to hear. i think i got cocky because it wasn't an issue the last two times and didn't take it too seriously.
@karenbme: funny you should mention it because if i had my way we would have purchased the car already, but DH is like, eh, we could just get it in december, it's not like we'll be driving that much with a newborn anyway.
i mean granted we live in the city so it's a little different than most people's situation, but still his level 11 procrastination is sometimes a little ridic. like, how are we even going to go get the new car if we quite literally cannot fit all of our children in our existing car?! it will be a whole production that it would not have to be if we just did it now. if you wind up with a NICU/early arrival situation could you actually put off getting the car, or do you definitely need the new car before baby is home?@periwinklebee: ha yes exactly! also fwiw i am 100% team formula & nap
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@LemonJack: @nwm: His current vehicle is fine except that it’s starting to need work annually and we couldn’t put the two of us, a car seat and our large lab in it comfortably. But my car doesn’t have either of those problems so we don’t technically need the new car before baby. It would be different if the dealer was saying it’s on a truck and will be here on Oct. 15 or 20, but the story is it’s stuck and it’ll be at least 4 weeks. I worry “at least 4 weeks” really means 6, 8 or 10 weeks, because whatever the saleswoman is telling him is the best case scenario. And is a dark blue car really that different from a black or gray car? But he’s stubborn and convinced the blue is better and it’ll work out fine. 🙄
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@nwm: Yeah, last time I EBF for the first few months and then had to supplement because my supply could not keep up and he wasn't gaining well. I'd read so many scare posts about how if you supplement, it will start a vicious circle where your supply dries up and your baby doesn't want to bf anymore. But my LO is still going strong with breastfeeding at wakeup and bedtime at 20 months - I have to kick him off as otherwise he'd be on there for hours - and he could care less that it's just colostrum now
@karenbme: hope you get things worked out with the car! Is it work for you, or can your DH handle it? If DH can take care of it and you won't be in a bind w/o it initially, I wouldn't worry too much. On the other hand, if I was the one in charge of buying the car, I wouldn't be too happy about having to deal with it with a newborn... We don't have a car now - but will probably end up getting one. Childcare arrangements are still in flux but baby girl won't be able to start daycare until 9 months. We will likely have a babysitter for a limited # of hours, and I want the babysitter to take LO to and from daycare as well, as otherwise the hours won't be enough to cover my minimum work schedule if I have to do it. The public transit options (i.e. commuter rail) from our house work easily enough if it's me taking LO to daycare on the way to/from work, but would be less convenient for a babysitter who has to bring along an infant and return to our house with a reverse commute... But right now we are also doing major renovations to our house and I don't have the bandwidth to think about a car (we have no idea what we want) - and don't really feel like spending the money while I'm shelling out for renovations either - so I think we will end up tackling it either right before the due date or once the baby's here...
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@periwinklebee: He can handle it on his own. I just feel like why wouldn’t we do it now if he knows what he wants—why let a color hold up the process especially since the dealer wants to give us an extra $1000 for the trouble? IMO, it’s silly. We’re going to have so much going on in a couple months, it’ll be so much easier now. I totally get that you would want to wait until after your renovations are done to figure out what you want in a car. It’s probably going to be easier once you’ve finished the reno. Plus you have experience with newborns and know a little more what you’re getting into/what you’re going to need/want in support.
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@karenbme: yeah, realistically I'll probably be totally overwhelmed - and if DH gets this job he's interviewing for now it's based five hours away and he'll be gone a ton, which would suck - but eh, first I gotta deal with the childcare situation (which is definitely stressing me out!), then I'll worry about how the sitter (assuming we can find one we'll be happy with) gets DS to and from daycare. Triage + the fact that somehow everything always seems to happen at the last minute no matter how much I would like to be on top of everything, ugh 🤷♀️ You've totally got this! Really with babies they just need to be fed (however works, so many option from ebf to eff and everything in between) and cuddled. Hopefully your husband gets on top of the car, but regardless things will work out great!
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Hope everyone is doing well! I had my shower on Saturday in my hometown and am feeling extremely loved. My step mom & sisters kind of went over the top in terms of decorating/theme but it was really fun. My fav part was definitely that there was a onesie decorating station, so now baby girl has hand made onesies in various sizes from all the shower guests.
My dad and step mom also decided on their grandparent names since this is the first on that side! She’ll be GG (for grandma last name) and he wants to be Pop, which is a huge relief because he had been talking about some Vietnamese thing that even he couldn’t remember (we’re not Vietnamese or even Asian). And then we can use grandma for telling her about my mom (who died when I was 7) since MIL is Nana already.
Also when I got home DH said he had started paperwork to buy the black car that’s on the lot at the dealer, which is a big relief, even if it’s not something that would have taken a lot of work on my part. So I had a great weekend all around, hope everyone else did, too!
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yay!!! so so glad that everyone went over the top for you at the shower. what was the theme?
and hoooray for DH! glad he got it together and decided to make life easier.
we had a great weekend too, we actually left the kids and went away together for the first time ever, and it was really nice! seems like the kids handled it really well, and my parents (who were staying with them) did too. of course, it was a pre-planned trip with friends to napa, so i probably would have had a better time if i could drink wine, but still. it was relaxing to get away. i came down with a head cold on the way home, but hoping a few nights in my own bed will fix it.
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@nwm: Glad you had a great weekend, too, and I hope a little rest clears up your cold. Napa is beautiful with or without wine. And yay for leaving the kids with grandma.
The shower was baby/mom themed—with a “Mom”-osa bar with chocolate covered straw-“boobies” (strawberries grouped in 2s and stood on end), all sorts of baby foods (baby carrots, baby spinach salad, mini donuts/cupcakes, etc.), little plastic babies everywhere, and about two dozen baby pictures of DH and I spread around the first floor of the house. It was mostly tasteful, but way more than what I was expecting for a shower at the house.
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passed my glucose test! phew. i went back and looked at my 1 hour results and i BARELY failed, but still glad to have that behind me.
starting to move into the phase where i feel suuuper pregnant and a little uncomfortable. had a few braxton hicks this weekend. but also feeling ready for this phase! how is everyone else doing?
@karenbme: ha, that sounds soo cute! mom-osas!
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@nwm: Congrats on passing the 3 hour! I was thinking of you this weekend, wondering if you'd had it yet.
I'm also starting to be uncomfortable, but ok with it/not ready for baby to be in the world. Bending is definitely a problem depending on baby's position--had to have DH help me put on pajama pants last night because I couldn't get my knee high enough and my arms low enough at the same time. But I haven't had really any Braxton Hicks recently. I am making an effort to drink at least a gallon of water per day, though, which I'm sure helps.
How is everybody else doing? @Ms. RV: @Lemon_Jack: @BeeBeeHoliday: @bees_knees:
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@nwm: Yay!!! Awesome news.
This month has just been so busy I am ready to explode. Between DD, DS, and me we have had twelve medical appts, one outpatient surgery, two in home EI appointments, three trips to urgent care, and one trip to the ER. Plus OH was gone for five days for his brother's wedding and now four days for work. We are supposed to go camping this weekend for my birthday but I am so not sure.
Oh and every time I stand up I have to pee. It is annoying but I laugh every time. Planning on getting induced Nov 4 and that is six weeks away!!!
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@karenbme: Glad to hear you’re feeling mostly okay! I’m still feeling pretty good. I’m definitely slowing down, and am uncomfortable at times, but I’m hoping it stays manageable. 🤞
@Ms. RV: Six weeks seems crazy close! It’s hard to believe we’re getting down to the wire.
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@Ms. RV: Sorry to hear you’ve had so much on your hands, but OMG Nov 4 is right around the corner! You’re going to meet your little boy so soon! Ditto, @LemonJack: it’s hard to believe we’re in the home stretch.
@LemonJack: Glad to hear you’re still feeling good as well. Hope it stays manageable for all of us.
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@Ms. RV: wow, yikes! hope things settle down for you over the next six weeks. can't believe it's so soon!!! do you feel ready? we are decidedly not ready. but we should have 9+ weeks to get there.
lol and i feel you on having to pee all. the. time. yet literally all i want is to drink soda and juice.
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So I’m big enough now that it’s apparently acceptable to congratulate me unprompted. 🤰Every day this week I’ve had people comment, both strangers and colleagues that I only see occasionally (and hadn’t previously said anything to). I had been thinking maybe culturally we had moved beyond that, but given the past few days I feel like it’s coming. How do you all deal with the comments?
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@karenbme: i'm amazed you made it this far. this is the story of my life. i probably say my due date like 5 times a day. it's as if people feel it's rude NOT to make comments about your pregnancy. i find it very tiresome. i try to be polite because people do mean well, but respond as briefly as possible or even change the subject, because i'm 100% done talking about it with people i barely know, and i have 8 weeks to go.
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@nwm: I did get a lot of comments when I went to Jacksonville for a bridal shower in early August, and then when I came home nothing, so I just assumed people around here got it and were going to be cool. Apparently not the case.
I'm sure it won't decrease over the next 8 weeks (for either of us).
Really hope she gets head down and stays that way!
i mean granted we live in the city so it's a little different than most people's situation, but still his level 11 procrastination is sometimes a little ridic. like, how are we even going to go get the new car if we quite literally cannot fit all of our children in our existing car?! it will be a whole production that it would not have to be if we just did it now. if you wind up with a NICU/early arrival situation could you actually put off getting the car, or do you definitely need the new car before baby is home?
I'm sure it won't decrease over the next 8 weeks (for either of us).
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