Hellobee Boards

Aw, I feel so sad for her. Being shy is tough!

My toddler is kind of the opposite, but I think in your case the best thing would be to try and get her enrolled in either a class that meets at least weekly or maybe a mommy and me playgroup? Sounds like the more opportunities she has to socialize, the more comfortable she will become.

Also, I wonder whether there might be some good children's books that address the issue? Might be worth checking at your library.

Maybe you could kind of ease her into it? Start out with quieter activities and smaller groups and work your way up. Have some playdates with 1 or 2 friends at your own house so the location isn't new and then once she's comfortable with that you can go to mommy and me groups or activities with more people and noisier atmosphere.

My LO is very shy and socially anxious. She's currently 2.5 years old for reference. She can usually play just fine if she's around the right people but in groups, she wants me playing beside her. She actually enjoys going to school twice a week and it's a much needed break for me since she's so clingy. I have noticed in pictures though that she's still super shy there.

Her doctor told me she should get better as she gets older and able to communicate better. She currently has school twice a week and we go on play dates a few times a week too. She's just a shy kid who doesn't want me to go too far. It's definitely hard and I understand the worry because I still feel it every time. Rarely she will play at a play date with the other kids without me and it's amazing but doesn't happen often.

I honestly just trying make her feel comfortable by staying beside her if she really needs me but I also sneak away when she's occupied to try to encourage her to see that she can do it on her own. But, yeah, she's still super shy a lot of the time, even with kids she's known for almost two years.

My daughter is/was painfully shy. She's definitely opened up a lot over the years, but it still takes her time to warm up in new environments. I wrote a post about what worked for us - http://www.hellobee.com/2014/10/30/raising-an-introverted-child-in-an-extroverted-world/

Daycare/preschool really helped her feel more comfortable around others, but she is still naturally shy. She still needs be to stay 10 minutes with her every morning at drop off, and every once in awhile she'll still cry. I've accepted that this is who she is, and just really try to validate her feelings while encouraging her to get out of her comfort zone. I also do a lot of prepwork with her. Walking her through what to expect, who will be there, etc. really helps us too. That way she knows what to anticipate and it's no longer overwhelming.

@HLK208: mine is a lot younger than yours (20 months) and is very shy. She is outgoing around the house, but very quiet and clingy in social situations. The only thing that helps for us is repetition and time - so daycare it took a crazy long time for her to get used to but now is comfortable (until she changes rooms, then back to square one) and I am about to go on a long mat leave so I am planning the same playgroup, one class, and the same two friends playdates throughout! Even now with daycare, she's still socially shy with other toddlers, and spends a lot of time clinging to the daycare providers, lol. I don't think it's anything I did (or you did) I think it's fully a personality trait. My DH has a lot of social anxiety, which was much, much worse when he was a child.

@HLK208: you shouldn't feel embarrassed! All of our kids are different with their own unique personalities and temperaments! That's what makes them, them!

@HLK208: has she always been super shy or is it a recent thing? I've taken Clara out to classes and play groups and she has so many little friends we see all the time and she is just not a super social kid. She loves to play by herself. All her little friends play together and she'll participate every once and awhile but she just likes to play alone and run around singing to herself. It's just her personality. Also, she did go through a phase around 2.5 where she would cling to me out in public. We'd go places we'd been to so many times and she would be stuck to my side even though she used to run around a play. It lasted a few months and then she was ok again. So it could be a phase or it could be her personality...but no matter what it's nothing you did and I think you're doing the right thing by not making a huge deal of it but still exposing her to play group situations.

She's such a sweetheart and so silly - she'll come out of her shell in time and gain confidence. I'm sure starting school will help too

My son has always been painfully shy as well. There are a handful of occasions where he has actually bitten me because he didn't know how to deal with his anxiety in group settings. He gets anxious even at his own friend's birthday parties. He's definitely better in a smaller setting but in a large crowd, he's usually always by our side. We've taken him completely out of a soccer class we signed up for when he was younger because it gave him so much anxiety. He's 5 now and has gotten a lot better. I think school and extended periods of time away from us helped. I was super nervous when he started school at age 3 especially because he was one of the youngest in class due to the age cutoff. But surprisingly, after a week of tears, he did great the rest of the year. I think us being around him in social settings actually hinder him because he's so used to using us as a crutch. So she may actually do better than you think when she starts preschool.
Right now, we're trying to work on building close relationships with people in his classes via playdates or doing after school activities/camps together. We're also just trying to expose him to as many experiences as he is comfortable with. Equipping him with as many skills as he is able to pick up. Hopefully, all of this combined will help boost his confidence. He actually requested to take soccer again recently - all on his own.

N is just a month older than E, and she is also very shy and anxious in social situations. She even goes to daycare everyday and has been since a year old! i used to get sad when i saw other kids run off and play while she would cling by my side with her lovey and cry if we left her sight. She has really come out of her shell in the last few months, and i think it's because we have made an effort to see the same group of friends frequently. Friends have commented on how surprised they are by how talkative she is - she's always been talkative and outgoing, but not in public. We try to do at least one social activity every weekend. She still needs time to warm up, and it'll range from 15 minutes to sometimes 3 hours!

I think it's good that you're not making a big deal out of it. Increasing the frequency of social interactions will help too - how about inviting people over for small gatherings? This could help her get acquainted with friends better and not be overwhelmed. I know N is more clingy in crazier environments.