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Pregnancy After Loss Support Thread

  1. MaryM

    GOLD / grapefruit / 4819 posts

    @periwinklebee: I had a dentist appointment around 7 weeks. I was supposed to get X rays, so I had to tell them. They were all so happy and telling me that I should come back in my late 2nd or third trimester when it's safer to have the Xrays done. And I totally felt weird about it. Especially since it was during the week when I was waiting to see if I had a blighted ovum or not.

  2. periwinklebee

    GOLD / nectarine / 2249 posts

    @MaryM: It's so weird. I don't want to seem like I'm not excited about the pregnancy because it is so, so wanted, but it's so hard after loss to share the assumption that things are going to work out.

  3. winniebee

    hostess / wonderful grape / 20715 posts

    @MaryM: Glad things are looking well so far....thinking of you.

    @periwinklebee: So happy for you!

  4. Jruess

    grape / 79 posts

    @MaryM: @periwinklebee: glad things are going well!

    We had a 14 week heartbeat check today. So far, so good. As we walked out, I asked my husband if I'm going to feel like crying after every appt. we haven't really shared the news beyond my parents/siblings. We are having my oldest's birthday party on Saturday. Not sure I want to share with everyone then but it's pretty hard to hide.

    I'm trying to mentally prepare for next week. My daughters due date is Wednesday. We lost her at 16 weeks so I know these next two weeks will be stressful because we will be in that window. If that's not enough, I've had two co-workers with close due dates. One had his daughter yesterday. Listening to everyone talk to them about their pregnancies has been awful. I'm trying to focus on the bday party and taking it one day at a time.

  5. MaryM

    GOLD / grapefruit / 4819 posts

    @Jruess: I have a lot of milestones coming up too.

    Our last daughter's "birthday" is next week. And we found out at her NT scan the week before that she had trisomy and wasn't going to live long. Her EDD and this pregnancies are only a week or so apart, so I'll be heading for this baby's NT scan in about a week and a half. And then in September is the birthday of our other daughter who was stillborn. Then the next month I'll be reaching the age of the baby that was stillborn.

    My therapist might be asking for bigger rate soon...

  6. Jruess

    grape / 79 posts

    @MaryM: i will be sending positive thoughts your way! Life can be so cruel! Hopefully you have good support in place

  7. periwinklebee

    GOLD / nectarine / 2249 posts

    @winniebee: Thank you! I hope things are going wonderfully with your new LO

    @Jruess: @MaryM: I'll be thinking of you both over the next few weeks. Crying that you have to go through all these milestones, it sounds so difficult

  8. theotherstark

    GOLD / nectarine / 2955 posts

    @MaryM: just saw your post about progesterone. Hope your week picks up and Monday is here before you know it! I don't know much about that stuff, but could it be dropping because the placenta is now picking up more of the slack? I keep thinking that once I get passed certain milestones (first scan, NT scan, etc etc) that my anxiety will ease, but I somehow don't think it will!

  9. theotherstark

    GOLD / nectarine / 2955 posts

    @Jruess: I am so glad you had a good appointment. I'll be thinking of you over the next week.

  10. MaryM

    GOLD / grapefruit / 4819 posts

    @theotherstark: Thanks. I've been less anxious since my last shot. A side effect of low progesterone is anxiety, and I had to suddenly switch pharmacies and the new one only ships stuff on Mondays, so I got my shot a day late. I think it was just a terrible storm of events that made me get SO worried!

    And no. If my placenta was picking up and producing more progesterone, my levels would be going up and I could back off on the supplements. That's part of why I've been seeing this particular type of doctor. My old OB insisted I stop taking them in my second pregnancy after 12 weeks. I stubbornly stayed on them and kept asking different doctors in the practice, and finally around 20 weeks started weaning off the progesterone. Then my daughter passed away a couple weeks later. I can't help but think there could have been a link.

    The doctor I'm with now has trained under researchers that have seen that although the placenta *should* pick up production around 12 weeks, it doesn't always. So they monitor levels throughout pregnancy and continue supplementing (if necessary) until about 36-38 weeks.

  11. theotherstark

    GOLD / nectarine / 2955 posts

    @MaryM: I'm glad you are feeling less anxious!! That all makes sense; I'm so glad that your dr. continues the supplementation until later. The most we can do is take things one day at a time!

  12. periwinklebee

    GOLD / nectarine / 2249 posts

    @theotherstark: I think there's always something to be nervous about I was hugely relieved after my NT scan, but now I have my anatomy scan coming up in two weeks and I'm trying not to be too nervous about that. I'm super excited to see baby again, but definitely with some nervousness mixed in. Have you had your NT scan yet?

  13. theotherstark

    GOLD / nectarine / 2955 posts

    @periwinklebee: yeah, I know I'll be nervous for the anatomy scan too, but I know too that I'll breathe a big sigh of relief after the NT scan. I have it scheduled for about a week and a half from now! Ah, can't come soon enough. Just got my blood drawn today for it so they have the blood part done for the scan appt.

  14. periwinklebee

    GOLD / nectarine / 2249 posts

    @theotherstark: Good luck with your scan! Will be thinking of you!

  15. theotherstark

    GOLD / nectarine / 2955 posts

    @periwinklebee: you too!

  16. travelgirl1

    cantaloupe / 6628 posts

    Hi ladies! I miscarried last month and got a BFP today. We had told everyone we were pregnant last time but just cannot risk my daughter going through the trauma of a loss again so will be keeping quiet this time.
    Feeling very anxious and praying with all I have that this pregnancy sticks. So grateful to be able to chat to you guys

  17. periwinklebee

    GOLD / nectarine / 2249 posts

    @travelgirl1: Congrats! Sending all the best wishes, I know it's super hard so soon after a loss

  18. azjax

    kiwi / 573 posts

    @travelgirl1: congratulations and best of for a sticky baby!!!!

    Had a growth scan and health check for baby today and she is an estimated 2lbs12oz and looking healthy. I'm slightly anemic so need to pump up the iron, but I passed the GD test! I've started to think of this baby by her name and I'm worried this will jinx us. The next few weeks are crazy because I'm preparing to defend my dissertation, submit a few manuscripts for review, and DH's grandmother has entered hospice care . This year continues to be a roller coaster of highs and lows. Hope you other mamas are well.

  19. azjax

    kiwi / 573 posts

    @MaryM: hugs for a.tough week

  20. azjax

    kiwi / 573 posts

    @Jruess: I hope the birthday party was a blast! Passing milestones is really hard and I will be wishing the best for you and your baby

  21. periwinklebee

    GOLD / nectarine / 2249 posts

    @azjax: So glad to hear everything is looking great with your LO Sounds like a crazy but rewarding few weeks, to have so many things that you must have been working on for a long time come together. Good luck with the defense and submissions!

    @MaryM: I hope that your appt and scan today went well, been thinking of you...

  22. MaryM

    GOLD / grapefruit / 4819 posts

    @periwinklebee: the scan was good. Baby was dancing around. Now just anxious for the NIPT results and NT scan. That's where things went downhill last year.

    And saw my therapist after the appointment to try to help me stop expecting history to repeat itself...

  23. travelgirl1

    cantaloupe / 6628 posts

    @periwinklebee: @azjax: thank you ladies ❤

    We're away at the coast for a few days and it's helping me keep calm. On the journey over on Sunday I had convinced myself I had started bleeding and would miscarry again. Every little twinge, or if I stop feeling nauseous for a bit, and my mind is back to convincing myself I'll miscarry again. I started googling ways to help me calm down, I'm trying to focus on how this pregnancy is different to my two losses and similar to the ones that produced my two children. But it is very hard, and I'm only 4 weeks 3 days. I have a feeling every single day is going to be a long one.

  24. MaryM

    GOLD / grapefruit / 4819 posts

    @travelgirl1: I've had a lot of similar moments in the last couple of weeks.

    It's helped that my doctor will see me every 2-3 weeks for ultrasounds (but that was only helpful from 8 weeks on). And I have to give major props to my therapist.

    Early on was just hard. And I DID have a gush of blood one day and a pretty sizable clot. I was sure it was over. Thankfully, it was probably just implantation bleeding.

    DH is less stressed out since we saw the baby dancing around yesterday. What he doesn't remember, is that we saw Francis move around last year a couple weeks before her NT scan when it all went downhill.

  25. periwinklebee

    GOLD / nectarine / 2249 posts

    @MaryM: I'm so, so happy that your scan went well! Will be thinking of you as you wait for the NIPT results.

    @travelgirl1: I'm sorry, I know it's really hard. I think after two losses I pretty much assumed throughout the first trimester that something would go wrong. It wasn't rational at all - we tested tissue from one of our losses and knew it was a random event that had no bearing on our future odds of a successful pregnancy. Still, it was hard to believe that the present could be different from the past. But I just try to remind myself of all the other great things in my life and to focus on those as much as possible, rather than on worry or the pregnancy. Even now I'm cautious and still have dreams that I start bleeding or something else goes wrong. Will be thinking of you and hoping the next weeks fly by.

  26. travelgirl1

    cantaloupe / 6628 posts

    @MaryM: I'm so glad you had a good scan! Praying the next few weeks go well for you.

    @periwinklebee: Thanks for the tips! Last night I dreamed I started bleeding, then I had another dream that I had an ultrasound and they found problems in my uterus caused by my c-sections that would probably cause me to miscarry. I can't stop thinking about why I dreamed that. I think not knowing what caused my previous losses makes me jump to all kinds of conclusions. Today I haven't been feeling anywhere near as nauseous as I was yesterday and now I'm obviously freaking out. I'm praying that I just start throwing up - and I never thought I would say that after having horrible morning sickness - but it would give some kind of reassurance.

  27. periwinklebee

    GOLD / nectarine / 2249 posts

    @travelgirl1: After a bit of a respite, I had a very vivid dream a couple of nights ago that I started bleeding as well. It doesn't even really make sense, as my losses never started with bleeding. I think pregnancy is just a recipe for super vivid dreams, and of course things that we're worried about are going to surface.

    I was fairly sick first trimester, puking pretty much daily even with diclegis, and largely squandered the few moments of relief by worrying that it meant something is wrong. Which again is not very consistent with my experience, as with my later first tri loss I was equally sick even after the hb had stopped. But anyways, it's hard to be rational about these things. I really hope the time flies by and you are able to relax more soon.

  28. Kemma

    GOLD / grapefruit / 4006 posts

    So i took a pregnancy test this afternoon and it was positive (not a really strong line, but definitely darker than a squinter) and now I'm quietly freaking out. We lost our third pregnancy in February (a missed miscarriage that was three weeks from the scan at 7ish weeks to completion at ten-ish weeks). Since the miscarriage my cycles have been all over the show with a shortish LP (11 days) and I really thought that we'd totally missed the window for this cycle... I'm so torn between feeling totally excited and just wanting to ignore that positive test for the next ten weeks...

    @travelgirl1: Congrats, Mama, I hope you have a healthy and happy nine months

  29. azjax

    kiwi / 573 posts

    @Kemma: congratulations . I hope this one turns out well! The early weeks are hard, but I found it helpful to focus on little milestones.

  30. periwinklebee

    GOLD / nectarine / 2249 posts

    @Kemma: I'm so, so happy to see you here - congrats!!!!

    I think it's completely fine to feel however comes most naturally - even if that means completely ignoring the pregnancy for awhile. After two losses I really couldn't feel excited for most of the first tri, and didn't feel a bit of attachment until I heard the heartbeat. I feel like that was totally fine, and the moments when we've gotten good news, like the NT scan, have still been awesome. Thinking of you and hoping the next few weeks fly by.

  31. MaryM

    GOLD / grapefruit / 4819 posts

    For those struggling with feelings...I've found this book helpful https://www.amazon.com/Celebrating-Pregnancy-Again-Franchesca-Cox-ebook/dp/B00B4MPBPW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501777043&sr=8-1&keywords=celebrating+pregnancy+again

    It's only $2 for the kindle version.

    It's not super long, so I've read it all the way through several times.

    Some of the reviews say it's not as helpful for those that have had early losses (as it might be for those with late losses), but I think some of the same themes are true for both groups.

    There is some religious talk briefly throughout.

    It's not really a "how to" book, but I think that might be why I like it. Because no strategy is going to work for everyone. But I find it's a good resource to remind me that I'm not alone in this struggle, and that no matter what you're feeling, your feelings are valid.

  32. periwinklebee

    GOLD / nectarine / 2249 posts

    @MaryM: Thank you for the recommendation!

  33. travelgirl1

    cantaloupe / 6628 posts

    @Kemma: congratulations!!! Wishing you a happy and healthy nine months also. I hope I get to the point where I can join you in the April group.

    @MaryM: Thanks for the recommendation.

    So this week I absolutely convinced myself that I was about to miscarry and stopped being anxious and just accepted it. I'm not feeling anywhere near as nauseous as I was, although I am very gaggy still, so convinced myself it was a done deal. I tested again this morning though and both tests were good strong lines so I'm going to try and have hope.

  34. MaryM

    GOLD / grapefruit / 4819 posts

    After freaking out because I'm feeling better, we got good news on the NIPT test today. And it's a boy 💙

    Still expect to be anxious for a week and a half until the NT scan, but some good news is great

  35. periwinklebee

    GOLD / nectarine / 2249 posts

    @MaryM: I am sooooooo excited about your good results and yay for a !!! Such amazing news!

    I'll be thinking of you with the NT scan. I know it doesn't take away most of the nervousness, but I hope the healthy genetic results help you to rest a bit easier between now and then.

  36. travelgirl1

    cantaloupe / 6628 posts

    @MaryM: Wow! Congratulations!

  37. MaryM

    GOLD / grapefruit / 4819 posts

    So, I'm still freaking out about feeling ok. And I've had more twinges and aches this week (is that usual around 11-12 weeks? I keep telling myself it is)

    I think I'll be calling my OB to try to get in for a scan since I have the rest of the week off

  38. periwinklebee

    GOLD / nectarine / 2249 posts

    @MaryM: I think I started noticing more twinges around then, as my uterus was getting heavier and hence straining the ligaments more, and also as things started to stretch. It's also common for morning sickness to get a lot better around that point, so I'm sure it's pretty normal. I hope they can get you in for a scan for peace of mind, though.

  39. MaryM

    GOLD / grapefruit / 4819 posts

    @periwinklebee: they got me in with the NP (the doc was booked all week) for Friday. Hoping I can stay busy tomorrow and be ok

  40. periwinklebee

    GOLD / nectarine / 2249 posts

    @MaryM: I'm really glad they were able to wok you in. I hope tomorrow flies by.

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