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I'm still working on this with a 1 year old and a 3.5 year old. Getting in is ok because I can have the big one climb in, close her door while she gets into her seat, buckle the baby in, then buckle the big one in. I've had a couple of times I had to really yell at the big one for wandering or running in the parking lot- always not busy lots at the time but very scary anyway.

We try to unbuckle the eldest (ds1) first, but then leave him sitting in the car unstrapped. Then we unload the toddler and put him in the stroller. Then DS1 hops out. I suppose we will do something similar when DD comes along in a few months, but I've already been wondering about this!

I think your husband's idea is good depending on how crazy the parking lots are (I have my 2.5 year old do this a lot in parking lots when I'm getting things out of the car, but never did during the holidays with the increased traffic). If you are concerned about them not following directions well, maybe have them unbuckle but stay in their seats until you get the baby out? Or tell them to climb down from or up into their seats/stand in the aisle while you get their sister in/out. You can leave the door on one side closed/child locks on while you work on getting the baby in to make sure they stay in.

I've also had them hold my back pocket or hold the diaper bag strap. I feel much more comfortable with this where I can feel if they let go versus hand on the car.

@ValentineMommy: this is what I do with my 3 yo and 1 yo. Same with getting them in the car - 3 yo old hops in, I close her door and then strap the baby in. When the baby is secure, I come back around and strap my big kid in.

How I do it...
Unbuckle my four year old, unbuckle my one year old - put her in carrier, then hold my 4yo hand and walk to the other side to unbuckle my two year old. While I'm unbuckling my 2yo my 4yo holds onto my shirt or sits in the space under the car seat.
When it's time to get back in the car they all load from the baby's side. I buckle baby, then 4yo, then 2yo. Fortunately my 2yo is pretty cooperative.

Oh man this always gives me such anxiety! No matter what I do I feel like there's always a moment when a kid is in the parking lot without my eyes on them (and I only have two!)

I actually started unbuckling my oldest and then closing her door back up and then going around to the baby and unbuckling him, and having my daughter get out his side (so they're both getting out the same side of the car). When we're getting back into the car I have her get in his side and crawl across. This might only work because we have a van though.

I live in Queens and have 2 kids (3.5 years and 9 months old). How I handle this is that everyone gets out on one side of the car - the same side as the sidewalk. If we are getting into the car on the passenger side (where my rf baby sits), I have my 3.5 year old "crawl through the tunnel" aka along the floor under the rf car seat to her spot (behind the driver). Once the baby is buckled in, I will walk to her side to buckle her into her seat, where she is already waiting. If we are getting out of the car, I unbuckle my 3.5 year old first but leave her in her seat, then I walk around to the baby's side of the car and take him out. My 3.5 climbs through the "tunnel" again once I have the baby fully out of his seat, so I can have a hand on her to keep her safe.

If we park on the left side of a one way street where the sidewalk is on my 3.5 year olds side, I unbuckle her and leave her there, then get the baby out, carry the baby around to my DD's side of the car and then open the door for her to step out.

I get the older two unbuckled or sometimes my oldest does that then they wait in the car till I get baby out, usually in a carrier, and then they both come out that same side.

Same thing with going in. They pile in first. Then I get baby in, then I secure them in.

@PinkElephant: we ended up turning our middle child FF for this reason. He was two and ok RF but logistically it was much better to have him FF.

@PinkElephant: mine are a little older - 5 & 3 (and then baby is 2 months) and the girls are both FF (baby RF) and half the time my oldest unbuckles herself then her sister.

@PinkElephant: just wanted to say congratulations on your move! I didn't know you'd moved to the NJ side. Sometimes DH and I talk about moving out further and getting more space, but we are scared, haha. And also can't really pinpoint a town--there are so many options and we know so little about all of them.

How are you liking the change?

I am a mom of just one so please take this with a grain of salt but I love the idea of having your kids touching you at all times. That makes you secure knowing they are with you. My daughter will hold onto my pocket or dress when we walk from a store if I have my arms full. I would think the same could be said for 3 kids - one in arms, 2 walking.

Maybe also give the 4.5 year old a "very important job" of making sure her sister is always holding her hand.