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We are atheists and send our sons to a preschool that is in a church and teaches some religion. I'm totally fine with this. But I'm not sure if I would be ok with them going to a religious school as they got older... I mean, if it was the best option then maybe. We'd just have to have a plan for the kinds of conversations we'd have with them.

I'm going to be the dissenter and say I don't think a religious school sounds like it would be a good fit for you guys.

I went to a religious school until 8th grade (as did my husband) and my son is currently in a religious preschool / MDO. He is two and has learned a lot - shapes, colors, etc - but also religious stuff. Children are sponges. He now insists we pray before meals (requesting for us to sing, "God our Father") and often walks around the house singing, "Who built the Ark? Noah, Noah!" While I agree with @Smurfette: that you shouldn't force your personal beliefs (or disbeliefs) onto your child, having been on HB for several years and feeling like I "know" your family / child, I have concerns that singing religious songs could become your child's new way or torturing you guys (specifically your husband). Especially if your husband shows open disdain for them. Just something to think about.

I do think that there are tons of kids who go to religious schools - Jewish, Christian, etc - that don't take on the religion and parents don't believe in said religious. With that said, I am 100% confident that she will be exposed to religious principles there and you need to decide whether you want to begin that discussion (what Mom & Dad believe) in your house right now. I think saying something like "oh, they are teaching rubbish" (putting on my British hat) could be detrimental and confusing for a young child, so y'all would definitely want to strategize and develop a party line.

ETA: We are a Christian family.

We are both atheists and I would not be ok with sending my child to a faith-based school, even for preschool. I went to faith-based daycare, kindergarten and 1st grade (where religion was taught as fact) and I still remember it. While it wasn't a bad experience, I remember really questioning it, even when I was fairly young.

I'm not anti-religion, I would just want my child to be able to explore religion when they are old enough to have a true interest and curiosity and really be able to understand it and decide for themselves what they believe.

Yes, she will come home singing songs about God and telling you religious stories. Whether that is a problem is up to you and your DH (sounds like it would be more of a problem for him). I have no issue with my LO being exposed to religious concepts, but I'd want her exposed to several of them so that she could decide for herself and that's not what would happen if I sent her to a religious school (she would be taught that the beliefs of that particular church/religion are fact). DH and I are both atheists and would not consider sending our LO to a church-affiliated school.

I would not be comfortable sending my child to a religiously affiliated school. Like pp have said, kids are sponges. She will pick up a lot more than "God is love". How will you respond to requests to pray at meals at home? How will you explain why you don't attend church, or why you don't do X or Z. Just things to think about.

I can't imagine that would work well long term for your dh. Personally I would be ok with it but it sounds like a problem for him. I hope she gets into the better local school!

I and my siblings (5 of us) went to Catholic schools from a young age and none of us have ever spouted anything religious or have any Catholic beliefs today as adults and teenagers. I never did as a child either. Our family is atheist I guess...I hesitate to put a label, but we're nothing religious. I went to a Catholic school from age 7-13 and we sang songs about god every morning, had religion classes everyday, said the Lord's Prayer every morning with the national anthem, and participated in regular masses. Honestly, it has had zero impact on me either way and my parents sent us to one of the schools because it was a nice school. One of my siblings is currently super anti-religion, but I think that's to do with personality and age right now.

I think it's good to be exposed to be different ideas and beliefs so that you can hopefully be a more well-rounded and accepting person. Also, if it's not something you practice at home I doubt it will play a huge role in her life. I disagree with comments about homosexuality and women's roles being presented in a negative light because for me they were not at all-they weren't even discussed. Perhaps if I had continued going to a religious school after age 13 it would have come up.

However, you know your child and husband best and need to think about how it may play out. I know it wouldn't make much of a difference to me or my husband if our child went to a Catholic school even though we are not at all Catholic (though he was raised in a Catholic family).

Here!!!

DH and I both were in Catholic and Christian schools growing up, but we grew up to become more as an atheist (him more than me). We recently enrolled into a nice Episcopal school for DS' pre-k. Yes he does come home and inform us that God made him as a baby, God made everything, God is love and God loves all of us. I was a little irritated at first (for me I just feel weird to brain wash a 4 year old into one religion only and he is not given a choice of making an "informed decision" for himself in terms of religion <--- please know that I am only speaking of my feelings as an atheist so I hope I am not offending anyone) but surprisingly DH was more going along with it. Now I just accept it too. We do talk about God when DS brings it up. I guess I am glad that I did grow up in a Christian school environment and I am OK with that.

I would not send my kid to be taught by a group of people with clearly stated and rational beliefs, and then turn around and tell him that they’re delusional morons. Particularly when the subject of their so-called delusions is something that they will say is the single most important thing to them. That’s not expressing disagreement, that’s being deliberately offensive.

Forget about that message being confusing to a child (which it is, of course), but it’s also an implicit statement that school is basically all bulls***, which is maybe not the message you want to convey.

@jmarionsmith: Yes, good point. I think this is only doable if you are committed to being respectful about those beliefs when your child asks about them, and instead of flat-out saying "God isn't real," go for a more nuanced answer. Personally I kind of liked getting the opportunity to have that discussion and introduce the idea that different people believe different things.

The more I think about this and replace the Church of England (Christian) with another religion I don't know or even loosely affiliate myself with I would not do it. For instance, I have little cousins that attend a Muslim school. I would not be comfortable with even broaching the questions that my child may have centered around their religious instruction. I remember the homework another cousin received that attended Catholic school and the religion and values were definitely taught.

@jmarionsmith: Please do not misunderstand me. I was definitely not suggesting that everyone who sends their child to a school of a religion/denomination that they are not part of is accusing their child's teachers of harboring dangerous and stupid delusions. I would expect that parents in this situation would be respectful of the views of the people they have entrusted with taking care of their children and educating them.

But it sounds like that's not very likely to happen in this situation. (Not from Cherrybee herself, but calling God the "sky fairy" is childish and clearly intended to be offensive.)

@looch: I think you're making an incorrect assumption that Christians are offended by the existence of atheists or suggestions of atheism. The only atheist that offends me is the rude one.

I'm happy to entertain respectful, intelligent discussions with atheists about why I believe God exists (and for my child to have such discussions). I'm not happy to try to have a discussion like that with someone who is trying to be as obnoxious as possible.

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@honeybear: No, I wasn't beginning from the point that I thought the perspective was reasonable.

Let me put it this way...if I was faced with choosing a school for my child and I knew that my husband wouldn't be able to provide a neutral response, I wouldn't enroll my child in that school because I wouldn't want something that my husband said to be repeated by my child and in turn, reported to the other parents. That is disrespectful and I think about how I would feel if I received that kind of information from my son, as said by another child, about our beliefs.

I think we are on the same side of the issue. I personally do not care what other people believe, but I do believe that we all deserve not to be belittled, made fun of or treated rudely when it comes to those beliefs.

We are lapsed Christians- more agnostic than anything. DD goes to a Catholic daycare that is hosed in a prek to 8th grade private school. I'm not shure how long we will stay at the school. We love it overall. I'm going to talk to the director about the preschool curriculum before enrolling her.

@looch: That works for me. I agree with your last sentence in particular, but I do care what others believe--I'm still going to pray (in private) for atheists and agnostics!