My daughter is turning 5 this weekend and we are having a pretty big party with ~20 kids at a park - is there a "right" way to do the present opening? Should we do it during the party or just bring them home and do it later? We've seen each way at other kids' parties this year but I have never known if there is a more appropriate method.. It's fun to see someone open the present that you picked out for them, but it is a long-ish time for a bunch of kids to sit still, plus sometimes kids can be a little... honest... about what they think about gifts 
. I can't decide. Help?!
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not a huge fan of opening presents at the party. i'd rather socialize.
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20 kids is a lot and I think they will get bored. I would ask LO to thank the attendees at the party and then send thank you notes after you open the gifts at home. To me, this also de-emphasizes the material aspect of the birthday party and spares embarrassment or hurt of anyone that has given a gift that LO isn't immediately pleased with, etc.
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Growing up we opened them at parties, but since my DDs have been going to parties, I haven't seen gifts opened (other than as a one-off where a child presented a gift directly to a child before the party activities started, and the birthday child just tore right into the gift.
Personally I think it's really hard for toddlers/preschoolers/kindergarteners to watch another child open a ton of gifts....and a lot of LOs melt under the pressure of being "watched" as well.
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I supremely dislike the idea of opening gifts in front of the gift givers. It always feels forced to me and especially with little people I don't want to be embarrassed and in a place where I can't teach them a lesson in humility and gratitude.
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I think etiquette wise, gifts should be opened, but I totally get preferring to wait!
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I think it kinda depends on how the party is going! I have been to several where the parents meant to open gifts but ran out of time since the kids were having too much fun playing. As long as you write a thank you note I think either way is fine.
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Gift opening takes up so much time. I like it better in private, which gives everyone more time for fun.
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I think 20 is too many to open, unless you need to fill time. I mostly have not seen kids open (probably due to large parties) but at a friend's recently we all encouraged it because the kids ran out of things to do.
We always opened gifts growing up but parties have changed a lot - we always had smaller parties usually at home. -
At our smaller, family parties we open gifts during, because our older family members would have a fit if they didn't get to see the birthday girls open their gifts! But none of the daycare parties we've been to have had presents opened during them. I voted to take them home and do them later.
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We've always opened presents at home and all the kids birthday parties we've been to they open their gifts at home too.
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My kids love to open presents at their parties, and I like that they can thank each person individually. It is time consuming, and we usually do it at the very end of the party.
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I think it depends on the size. Over 8 kids, I think is too many presents to open.
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I can't stand opening gifts at parties. I hated doing it myself at showers, and I don't like my kids doing it at their parties. But my MIL basically forces it to happen - takes D over to the gifts and says, "What do you think you got?" Then he's all excited and starts ripping into them. It annoys the shit out of me.
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Great points, everyone. Thanks for the input! I am definitely leaning towards doing them at home; @Grace: , @bhbee: and @azjax: I agree 20 is probably too many gifts to open at once. I honestly feel weird and gift-grabby about it either way - I wish we could do a no-gifts party but DD's heart would be broken; she's seen too many parties full of presents this year. Something to work on this whole next year maybe - to try to de-emphasize presents for next year!
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Normally I'm an open the gifts at the party type of person, but in this case I think it would just take too long. Open them at home and get her to help write thank you notes.
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At home. I was at a party on the weekend where the birthday girl opened and played with her gifts inside while most of her guest were outside (I was feeding on the couch). I think presents are for after, spend time with the guests.
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My son went to a party last week and they waited until the very end to open presents, I thought that was nice. He has also been to parties where they don't open the presents, which is fine too. I don't think there's any right answer, but I kind of like taking a peek if I can to get ideas for future gifts.
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My son's third birthday party was last weekend. My preference is to not open presents at the party. As a guest, I find it really tedious, and I think it over-emphasizes gifts.
My son's party was basically a huge play date at our house with a brunch buffet. There were 5 kids (including the birthday boy) and 13 adults. (It was supposed to be 7 kids and 16 adults but two of the kids got sick.)
Anyway, the party started at 10:30, and we cut the cake at noon. After the cake, my son asked me several times in a row about opening gifts. There were six gifts, and we were at home, and it was his birthday. So I said yes.
Honestly, he opened one gift and immediately wanted to play with it. He wound up opening them all gradually across the next hour but it took awhile.
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In my experience, the kids love seeing their friend open presents, especially the one they brought. At every party I've been to where the kids open presents the kids just move in closer and closer until it's like they're all opening the presents. 20 is a lot, but I think you could fly through them pretty quickly at the end of the party.
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We opened gifts at Ts birthday play date/brunch but it was only a few and the bigger kids were excited and kept asking. For her first birthday we had 75 ish guests and opened gifts later. I think it just depends on how the day is going.
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The one situation that I really enjoy is after the party is over or ending they casually open gifts. If you want to stay and watch great. If you want to stay and play and not pay attention, fine. Or just go ahead and leave! Its very casual and usually just a few kids want to stick around for a few presents and then they take off.
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Bring them home and do it. While doing it be sure to write down something your child said about the present or take a picture of them opening it to include in the thank you notes.
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my mom always made me open my presents after the party, and i'm inclined to do it the same way with DS. not only can kids not sit still, and it's kind of boring, i wouldn't want to make any of the guests feel bad for what they brought based on other gifts received.
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I voted other. Personally I don't like it when gifts are opened at the party bc it takes too long and other kids get bored etc.
Honestly for my dd's bday we just went with the flow and at her first bday we did open bc it was smaller and only family. Her second ww did not open bc the kids were too busy playing and dd wasn't really aware that she could open them
...for her third bday she did open bc she asked to. Had she not asked we wouldn't have opened. In each case it worked out ok... -
Just family or family and a few friends- open at the party
Big friends party- open later.
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