Hellobee Boards

Don't feel bad! Gifts are the norm for birthday parties which is why people specify when they don't want any at all for various reasons. If you are cool with gifts, don't put anything on the invitation but maybe skip the whole opening of the gifts. I'm team gifts.

We did no gifts last year- her 4th bday but first party. This year I didn’t say anything so she will get gifts, but she is also a lot more aware of giving gifts to other people, and I often ask her what we should get her friends and stuff.

I really wouldn’t worry about the no gift kids (parents) feeling obligated to get a gift- they will, it’s a bday party, and it’s expected. If it does worry you say No Gifts - as long as your LO isn’t expecting them. FWIW at her no gifts party last year, almost half the people brought something anyway, just usually something smaller than they usually would.

We do no gifts but I don't mind buying gifts for others - not awkward at all!

I would just think about how many gifts you'll be getting - even with no gifts (which people do follow), my kids still get at least 4 from relatives. Even just those 4 are sort of exhausting for my kids to open and then we have to find room for them. I really wouldn't want like 20 gifts - but I'm minimalist like that.

We do gifts for our bigger boy because he loves getting them our baby doesn’t know really, and has so many toys already that we successfully said no gifts for his latest party. People did still give cards/vouchers which was nice (but not expected)!

Don't stress- just do what you'd prefer. At 4, I'd probably ask my kid too, though I'm assuming he'd say he wants presents. For his 3rd, I used it as an opportunity to practice thank you notes- he obviously couldn't write them, but I made him dictate a thank you note to me after we opened each gift- he couldn't open the next one until the thank you note was finished for the last one he opened. It extended the joy and set the expectation that when you get gifts, thank you notes are required. As my kid gets older, I may offer alternatives too- would you rather have gifts at your party or do XYZ experience? But really, like others have said- I think folks that request no gifts do it for a desire to avoid junk coming into their homes, and probably have no hard feelings about bringing a gift if you don't feel the same way!

We do gifts for birthdays and I have no problem with it...I am also far from a minimalist and I do indulge my son in a lot of material things, particularly learning games, building items and art materials.

I also put a lot of thought into what I gift others. I always look for games that can be played in a family setting to add to someone's collection and I am kind of put off by the idea that I wouldn't be able to buy a decent present, but just add more junk to the pile. I will abide by whatever people put on the invitation though. If you request no presents, I will bring a card, but I won't bring a present just in case someone else does.

I just got an invite that states, "Gifts are absolutely not expected, but if you choose to bring something, skip the Transformers. I know M has probably talked to every one of you about them, but M has absolutely everything he could ever need in that category!" I had to chuckle.

I've also received invites that said something like gifts are not expected, but if you must, B likes supplies for art and music. I feel like these kind of invites are a nice middle ground, since you will get some gifts, but it's less pressure if someone is struggling for time or money.

If I'm being honest, I kind of dread having to shop for birthday parties. We have mostly done fiver parties ourselves, because the kids like receiving the cards and fives, but no one feels compelled to go shopping!

we are "no gifts" but I don't mind buying gifts for others at all!
Compared to friends, we have a minimal household (IMO, we are not truly minimal at all - DS has a ton of stuff!) and strongly prefer montessori-style toys. So "no gift" parties just make a lot more sense for our family. It may not be the best thing for other families, and I totally understand that and am happy to buy gifts for other peoples kids.
That said, we're still only attending parties for kids Under 5, so I just buy 1 book each year in bulk, and every kid gets the same thing for the whole year. It makes gift giving SO easy! I let DS pick a book he loves, and he is always excited to share his favorite with his friends.

I’m not sure yet if I will request no gifts or not. LO receives plenty of extra stuff even with no parties at all. To me plenty is one more than what we have bought for him. I don’t mind buying gifts for other people’s kids and until I had my own I went overboard. DH loudly busts me out in front of gift givers that (their) toys get stowed all the time.

I agree @crazydoglady: gifts are the norm, which is why you have to specify not to have them.

Gifts are the norm for birthdsy parties. I wouldn't feel bad. People are not obligated to spend a lot.

I wouldn't feel bad; to each their own! Even if I request no gifts for my kids party, I wouldn't think twice giving gifts to other kids parties!

Was thinking about this last night and realized I’ve been to multiple birthday parties for a couple of my LOs friends and given gifts at each one, then we had a no gift party so they didn’t get her anything. And it literally never crossed my mind until this thread. Still totally happy to have given them the gifts!

@bhbee: Yes, you bring five dollars in a card. When we stated on the invite what our child was saving for, we got great compliance with this request.

Ive always requested no gifts. My kids have too much stuff as it is. Honestly I don’t think they associate birthday parties with gifts, which I think is for the better. Sometimes people bring a gift card or $2 which I don’t mind as much.