I was dumped tonight by my fiancé of 3 years. He has been here for all of DDs life. She loves him so much and already beats herself up when he is sick and can't come around. How do I tell her she can't call him daddy anymore and that he won't be coming around anymore. I'm at a fricken loss. My heart is soooo heavy tonight.
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I'm so sorry
Is her biological dad in the picture? I don't have advice, just hugs
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I'm so sorry. No advice but wanted to send good thoughts to you.
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I'm so sorry! I don't have any advice, but wanted to send big hugs
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I'm so sorry.
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So sorry you and your daughter have to go through this. Hugs.
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I'm so sorry.
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I am so sorry.
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I'm so sorry. No specific advice but your daughter is lucky to have you and you her.
I think the best you can do is really be there as much as possible for her and try to keep her routine normal. You might find it helps give you perspective as well when going through this hard time.
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Is he not planning to have any involvement with her anymore? I dont see why she can't still call him daddy if that's their relationship...
Sorry you're going through this. It will all be okay in the end.
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@littleblessings: I'm so sorry
Maybe give her special mom time? Take her to the park, make pizza with her, little things to keep her mind off of what's missing?
Big hugs -
@littleblessings: I'm very sorry
I don't have great advice unfortunately, but I'm sure there must be resources out there somewhere. You will get through this. -
@HLK208: no he isn't in the picture for our safety. I was actually dumped because o wasn't charging that guy for child support. It's court ordered that I didn't. So N left me for it.
The only this is I don't have just her. We had a son together. Luckily DS isn't old enough to understand anything that's going on.
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So many hugs!
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I'm so sorry, that's really rough. Has he said what he plans to do about the kids? If he'll still be spending time with your DS, is it possible he'll want to/be able to spend time with both of them? It would seem so harsh if he were to cut your daughter off altogether
Big hugs to you, I know this is a difficult situation -
Hugs! I am so sorry! These things are never easy
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I am so sorry.
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I'm so sorry. Thinking of you and your LOs.
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@littleblessings: I'm so sorry. Sending you and your LOs love.
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That sounds so tough. Hugs.
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@littleblessings: I am so sorry. Wishing you strength and hope for the days ahead.
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Sorry
Stay strong. You never know how things will shake out.
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I'm so sorry.
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Just echoing - no advice but lots of
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No advice but big hugs. I'm so sorry
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I'm very sorry. If a man would leave over that, maybe it's for the better that he's gone. I don't suppose your daughter is old enough to understand any of that though... just try to help her through it, maybe find her a kids' book about separations or something - I wish I could recommend something, I'm sure they must exist...
For what it's worth, one of my grandmas and my mother in law both raised two kids on their own after their husbands left. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, and there was some resentment of one parent or the other
But they all grew up and turned out pretty well.
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So sorry you're dealing with this
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I'm so so sorry honey. Hugs
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I'm so so sorry.
The only thing I can think of is showing her extra love and attention. From you, grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc.
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I'm so sorry! I hope that he plans to see DS and will also have the desire to see DD. Otherwise the only "advice" I can think is to surround her with love and loving family/friends. Again, my thoughts are with you.
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So sorry
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Thinking of you... This must be difficult to deal with all the emotions between your own loss, as well as those of your LOs.
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Thank you guys. The support means a lot. My LOs can tell something's up. DD is just going about her business. DS started having random panic attacks last night. The only way to prevent them is to hold him. Its really rough
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I am really really really sorry my dear... my heart sank for you. Sigh. It makes me mad at this guy. How could he leave you because you didn't charge your DD's biological father child support? And how could he leave you when you guys have a biological child together?
And actually, may I ask why you don't charge that previous guy child support? And do you want to think about charging this guy child support for the son you guys have together? Having children is so expensive I wanted you to have all the financial help .... and they are legally required to pay for it...
I am very very sorry.... did you guys talk about the situation with the kids before or is he really gone for good, like move out of the country and will never see you guys ever again kinda deal? I wonder if you can arrange a situation where he can spend time with your daughter and son. It is possible even though you guys are not together?
If all of the above is not feasible.... do you have family or friends around and can you have them come over and visit more often to fill the void for now? I would talk to your daughter, that daddy and mommy decides that we can no longer be friends, and it is better for daddy to not come over anymore. Like people getting divorced... it is hard but it will be possible. I am so sorry you are going through this. You are a very strong woman. Hugs.
Regardless though, I would say don't jump into another relationship for a while just because you want to fill the void for your children.... best best wishes my dear friend xoxo
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i am so sorry that you all are going through this. it must be heartbreaking. i agree with others on trying to keep a routine while also allowing space for them to express their feelings and to acknowledge the confusion/sadness/anger they may be going through.
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I am so sorry!! I hope the kids are doing okay. Do you have help with childcare?
I also was googling childrens book for single parents... Maybe that will help DD understand?
http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2010/12/top-childrens-books-for-single-parents/
Hugs!
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@snowjewelz: they have started having randoms panic attacks. Hyperventilating and all. No I don't have help with childcare.
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@littleblessings: Even though DS is too young to know? Maybe he is affected by yours and DD's moods? I am so sorry!
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Just wanted to wish you continued hope and strength. You are an amazing mama and your kids will be ok because they have you.
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I'm really sorry.
Even though your ex is not your daughter's biological father, because he is her father figure AND the father of your son, I am wondering if it is possible to co-parent with him in some way? There may be resources in your city/state that can help you with mediation. I know things are raw right now, but perhaps there is a way for your son and daughter to still see him and know that they are loved by him, even if the relationship has changed.
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