If you're getting a sitter for a wedding; how many hours would you allot?
It's 20m away and I'm thinking we'll head out after the cake cutting.
Is there a point where dollar wise it's just not worth it for both you & SO to go? Would your gift take into consideration the sitter cost?
clementine / 948 posts
We stay for the whole wedding and don't reflect that expense in our gift. (So 6-7 hours for a babysitter)
nectarine / 2173 posts
It's not the couples fault that you need a sitter. I wouldn't let this play a role.
coconut / 8279 posts
haha yes! I had a wedding (4pm on a Friday, over an hour away) two weeks ago, where we would've both needed to take the day off from work and hire a sitter for 10 hours. I went solo so DH could work but still needed a sitter for the I between hours while DH was at work since LO couldn't go to school.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
The fact I need a sitter doesn't factor into the gift at all. I spend the same amount if I am going or not.
I would factor 4 hours at least.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
I have only needed sitters for family weddings, where I had to be there for the entire thing. For my sisters, DH stayed with her during the ceremony, then the babysitter came before we had to go for pictures. I think it was at least six hours?
I have another family wedding coming up on a weekend when DH can't stay with LO. So I'm having the sitter come to the hotel an hour before it starts and plan for her to be there at least half an hour after it ends (20 min away). Oh yeah and since its a middle of the day wedding I also get to pay for two nights in the hotel. It's awesome. But those costs aren't reflected in my gift- it's my aunt who has always been so supportive and generous, so I'll suck it up.
honeydew / 7463 posts
I've Never factored that into a gift. My kid is my expense, not theirs.
I would plan for 5-6 hours, but I would also be trying to go to almost the whole thing. I remember people leaving early at my wedding (after cake, right after dinner, etc) and it made me sad. After dinner is the best part!
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
Thanks everyone! I was thinking 6 hours. It's a family wedding which means we have to get a sitter. Just curious because I've heard other people suggest going easy on a gift for a destination wedding. So in my eyes it's all money spent to go to a wedding. 
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
@regberadaisy: I guess I see the destination wedding as an extra expense that the bride and groom imposed on the couple, where this family wedding is local, so they didn't add any expense to you. Though, people also spend less when they have to travel to a wedding that isn't local to them, but is to the couple...
Basically spend what you can afford. If that means factoring in the babysitting cost, then by all means give a smaller gift. In my situation, both weddings were people so close to me that I didn't want to do a smaller gift even though there was travel and babysitting. For a friend, it would be a different story probably.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
I would never even consider child care costs as a factor in giving less for a wedding gift, esp more so w family. Id give more because I'd feel guilty leaving early.
I gift for destination weddings as well. Our travel costs cover more than just wedding festivities, it's our enjoyment there otherwise too.
pomegranate / 3503 posts
Travel or babysitting espenses are never factored in for me. I did end up attending a wedding by myself last year because I didn't want to pay for flying the entire family there. But again, the fact that I had to fly there didn't affect what I gave to them as a gift.
honeydew / 7463 posts
@mrsjyw: I agree. We just went to a wedding in Grand Cayman last month. We took our 7 month old and my parents so they could babysit and still gave the same amount as if they had the wedding locally. In the end it's still our choice to go, so I don't change how much I would normally give.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
@BoogieBea: good point!!!
For our wedding a lot of people gave really really small amounts. DH and ILs were pretty appalled. I didn't care because I knew they all had to travel to our wedding so the fact that they came was gift enough! But we always give on the generous end anyway. Just curious what the norm is!
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