My in-laws live on the other side of the country (5hr plane ride). My SIL is getting married shortly and we're all in the wedding party (my husband and I and our 8 month old daughter). My SIL and I aren't super close but she's lovely and I asked her to be in my wedding party in 2014 so I'm happy to be there for her big day.
This is a really chaotic time at work for me, so taking this much time (a week and a half, for this and another wedding) is really tough and I will have a lot of work to do, so need help with baby care for LO.
So into the meat of the issue; SIL asked us to stay with her at her house. It is a large home way outside the downtown with 6 bedrooms. The problem is all of her new in-laws are staying there as well, at least 6 people (groom's mother, brother, sister, father, and some of their significant others). We will have our own room, but there will be people sleeping on the couches etc. My in-laws love company and parties so they are quite excited and in the run up to the wedding there is a party every night (bachelorette/stag, beach bbq, rehearsal dinner, party after the wedding at the house, goodbye brunch).
I am so worried about LO sleeping through this, not being fussy at the wedding with all the schedule disruption, and I'm not really great with crowds so I don't want my anxiety rubbing off on baby.
I asked if we could stay at a hotel downtown to make it easier for everyone since they would already have a lot on their plate but my FIL told us that SIL is upset about not having a shower and her friends not being super supportive and really wants us to stay with them. We agreed that we'd stay downtown for the first couple of nights but join them for four nights through the wedding.
DH will have a lot to do and I'm terrified of being stuck in a remote house with no car, lots of strangers, and a fussy baby. DH often struggles to pick up when I'm uncomfortable and unwilling to say "please stay and help!" when his parents ask him to do something/pick something up/play golf, as we learned when we were there for a week earlier this summer and I got stuck in the house alone with baby and tons of work to do remotely.
What should I do? Should I suck it up? Any tips/coping strategies I can employ? I want this to be a happy time for my SIL but not make LO a cranky mess and me ridden with anxiety...