Has anyone used a sleep consultant? Good experiences/bad experiences? Who did you use?
I'm at the end of my rope. My doctor said to hold off on sleep training until he's older (4.5 months). I just don't know what to do anymore. It would be one thing if naps were good but everything is just such a disaster.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
Have you been to the Troublesome Tots site? It's my favorite sleep site
pomegranate / 3716 posts
Yes, we spoke to one when he was just shy of 3 months because we were exhausted and had tried everything. Even though he was too young to officially CIO, she had us start letting him cry for 5 mins and going in to soothe him for 1-2 mins. Rinse and repeat. That was 3 weeks ago and things have gotten so much better since then! The consultant is a RN who works with the night nurse agency we worked with, and I know she does phone consults.
persimmon / 1431 posts
No. But almost everything I've read about sleep consultants involves some kind of having the baby cry. Seems like something I can do on my own.
grapefruit / 4291 posts
I had a consult when LO was just over six months and although it wasn't a magic bullet, it did help.
My biggest takeaway from the experience was that a good consultant will look at the big picture (routine, feeding, health, personalities, activity level, teething etc) and will work with your comfort levels without going straight to CIO.
Is there anything you think the Bee could help you with?
pomelo / 5720 posts
We used a consultant when DS was 7 months because I was at the end of my rope. It was helpful in identifying the sleep associations that we needed to change and his sleep did improve some.
nectarine / 2932 posts
@Kemma: I don't know. There's so much. He's only taken 36 minute naps since he was 2 weeks old. He's 4.5 months. Doesn't matter where: crib, swing, my arms, car, crib...doesn't sleep any longer. He has at least two night waking a night (fine with that) but it takes forever to rock him down because he wakes up the second he hits the crib. So I've been trying the last 4 nights to put him down awake and soothe him but now he's waking up even more and it takes forever to soothe him. I end up giving him a pacifier but he can't put it in himself and has no self soothing skills really. He's still in the swaddle up but he needs to be switched, except for he is a vicious scratcher when he's tired so he needs his hands covered. I ordered two zipadeezips but they haven't come in. Our video monitor is broken and being repaired and I don't feel comfortable letting him cry without being able to see him. It's a combination of f*ckery. Mostly the nap issue. Because I can never nap myself to recover from bad nap sleep. I have high sleep needs and I haven't slept more than a few combined hours in months.
persimmon / 1431 posts
@Littlebit: are you against having your LO cry a bit? Like giving him the chance to learn soothing skills, and falling back asleep when he wakes up from his short naps.
nectarine / 2180 posts
@Littlebit: my LO is a scratcher too. I put socks on her hands sometimes. My sister's pediatrician told her that sleep training will be bad for scratchers but it's not a reason not to sleep train. It's so tough. We are currently at 4 wake ups a night and I'm tired too! You might also check out moms on call, I think they do consultations too.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
@Littlebit: I never did a sleep consult but was THIS close around that age. And you just gave me the shivers remembering naps at that point-C's sleep cycle was 38 minutes, to the minute.
I found the now-defunct Isis webinars really helpful. Two of the sleep consultants there now have their own company and I really like their blog. (https://childsleepscience.wordpress.com). Like I said I never did a sleep consult but I have friends who did with these ladies and liked them.
grapefruit / 4862 posts
I hired a sleep consultant around that age. It was a friend of mine (she has some health issues and no longer does it in that capacity or else I would recommend her!) and just the initial consultation was so eye opening. I'm no help as far as where to go but it is 100% worth it in my opinion.
nectarine / 2932 posts
@Pumpkin Pie: I'm not against it but I've had several people, including his ped, tell me he's too young. So now I'm scared to.
Thank you everyone! I think I'm going to contact one. For nothing else but to tell me what to do and hold my hand.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
@Littlebit: fwiw we did CIO for falling asleep at night at 3.5 months. It was so young but it was the only thing that worked for us. But I felt so bad doing it. Good luck!
grapefruit / 4291 posts
@Littlebit: you don't have to do full blown extinction but you could always start with giving your wee one just a few minutes before you go on and comfort. Do you have anybody who can come and give you a break during the day so you can catch up on some sleep? Unfortunately there will always be babies who find sleep very challenging but changing your approach and building your support network can really make a difference.
pear / 1586 posts
@Littlebit: I think every ped will probably give you a different answer on that one. FWIW, at our son's 4-month appointment (he's almost 5 months now so just a little ahead of you), our ped asked if we were doing any sleep training. We had started the night before and her response after we told her we were doing Ferber was "good for you!" She's pretty young, too, so not some old-school ped or something.
So far, Ferber is working pretty well for us, but I also really like the Troublesome Tots site.
I feel you on the 36-minute naps. My son's sleep cycle is 38 minutes and the 38-minute crap nap was the bane of my existence while I was on maternity leave.
coconut / 8483 posts
Feel you on the short naps. 30 minutes on the dot here. Still a common theme at 10 months (couple times a week at least!) the only thing that's helped with lengthening naps its lengthening awake time.
Good luck!
nectarine / 2932 posts
@Kemma: I have this week been waiting a few minutes before going in. Hasn't done anything so far but I will keep up with it!
@erind425: I've read 3 months is the earliest so I was kind of surprised! We may be changing ped's anyways!
cherry / 209 posts
No..but I recommend troublesome tots and they have Facebook group and Google plus group. .you can join and they are really helpful and lady behind the blog does sleep consults also.
nectarine / 2932 posts
Am I missing something on troublesome tots? I've read a lot on the page this past week but she doesn't recommend before 6 months does she?
persimmon / 1431 posts
@Littlebit: I think you'll find that different PEDs have different philosophies about when to start sleep training, and to what extent. I started at 9 weeks letting my LO cry a bit before going in. I started with something like 15-20 mins. I gave it 1 week before I would decide whether or not it was working. It worked for us and now at a little over 4 months, she can fall asleep on her own, and will go back to sleep if she's woken from a short sleep. I know it's not for everyone, but if you have a LO who needs to be taught to sleep, I recommend trying. My LO used to be a 30 min sleeper, and I was at the end of my rope.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
@Littlebit: she goes into a lot of how to set up sleep routines and such, from what I remember of the early ages...
grapefruit / 4418 posts
@Littlebit: 45-60 mins is considered a long nap before 6 months, so I wouldn't be trying to change that at this point. I think you'll come up short in those efforts. Can you hire someone to come a few hours a week to watch him so you can get a nap?
Also, you really need to give any given technique 3-6 weeks to "work" and see change. There's no magic bullet with sleep. You just need to find something that might work to maximize your sleep and stick with it for a few weeks before reevaluating.
4 months is such a hard time for sleep but it does get better. Hang in there!
blogger / grapefruit / 4836 posts
I like the troublesome tots page because she goes into a lot of detail about why babies sleep the way they do. It helps me to understand what is happening and make decisions about how to proceed .
Her biggest suggestion is to use the swing! Definitely my backup plan if "drowsy but awake" doesn't work with baby 2.
nectarine / 2932 posts
@knittylady: Meh. Same, pretty much. He's officially out of any swaddle. Just using a sleep sack and we have socks on his hands. But he's still waking twice a night - our longest stretch is 3 hours. Naps are still crap but I've kind of come to terms with it I guess. I heard back from one sleep consultant. Waiting to hear back from another. Don't know if we should just keep waiting it out or actually go through with one. The thought of wasting that money and still having crappy naps is terrifying. Thank you for asking, though!
pomegranate / 3212 posts
@Littlebit: how did weaning off the swaddle go?? We tried unsuccessfully a few weeks ago... I feel like it could be the key to less night wakings... He's up every hour as it is
nectarine / 2932 posts
@knittylady: honestly, it went fine. He is sleeping so badly with one it didn't really make a difference!
apricot / 411 posts
I would be ecstatic if my 4.5-month-old were only waking twice a night! Mine also takes very short naps but I'm guessing it's something he'll grow out of.
nectarine / 2932 posts
@miramira: he got up 4 times Saturday night - so it's not always 2. 2 is the minimum!
nectarine / 2932 posts
Just heard from my babysitter - he took a two hour nap. No swaddle or sleep sack. WHAT THE FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF*CK.
Why won't he do that for me?!!?
nectarine / 2466 posts
Check out weebeedreaming.com, she's a sleep consultant that I was considering hiring. I didn't hire her because she has so much information on her blog, that after reading it and implementing a few changes, sleep improved that night. I've gone back to her blog a few times as we've hit trouble areas and every time I can get sleep to improve very quickly. Have a look, she hopefully has some ideas that information that can help you 
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