Hi Bees - I'm relatively new to the boards but have been hanging around the site since late in my pregnancy last year. And now, rather predictably, I have a sleep question.
LO is 7.5 mos and sleeps in a crib in the same room as me due to space constraints. She is still nursing 1-2 times per night, which is not a problem for me. I think at least one night feeding is necessary for my supply right now. However, she wakes frequently, often every two hours, and doesn't fall asleep independently, either at the beginning of night, during wakings, or for naps. Our bedtime routine is bath, lotion, diaper and jammies, nursing, sleep sack, holding and singing, down in the crib, patting or hand resting on her till she's asleep/nearly asleep.
She's become increasingly mobile in the last month, and now once she's in the crib, she cries, rolls, and scoots all over trying to get me to pick her back up instead of falling asleep, and it's more of the same during night wakings. I was hoping to slowly extinguish the patting/touching/standing next to her, but now that she can move, she's gone crazy pants. It's gone from a 5 minute process to taking an hour or more to get her to sleep.
I'm thinking some form of sleep training is necessary now to get her to 1) fall asleep on her own in the crib (before she can really crawl, or, good lord, stand up), and 2) not wake up so frequently.
I'm hesitant to do full extinction CIO for a few reasons, but mainly I think it would be really hard for me to keep it up since I'm going to be right in the room watching her sob, at least in the middle of the night. Plus it seems like it will be really confusing for her that sometimes I do come pick her up and nurse her, and sometimes just leave her to cry.
Anyone have ideas or experience for sleep training while room sharing?
How have folks dealt with the inconsistency of sometimes responding to baby's cries when it's time to nurse, but then ignoring them other times?
Any and all ideas appreciated!
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We did assisted sleep training. I would sit next to her - pat her back when needed, and wait for her to fall asleep on her own. It gave me a lot of time to read (I just got a super-dim light).
It took about 2 weeks. The first night was crying & fussing off and on for 2.5 hours. I just gave her love and physical pats when I could tell she needed it, and I'd remind her I was there. It got way easier after the first week.
We ended up putting her in her own room at 1, because she was sleeping through the night, and we didn't want to disrupt her sleep. The pretty awesome sleep (minus the normal sleep regressions) lasted until she was about 2, and we're still at the mercy of her climbing out her bed 8,000 times a night.
I think I wrote a post a long time ago. I'll see if I can find it.
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I'd focus on putting her down for the night without all the fuss. Just put her in the crib and walk away, no hand holding, etc. That way you can go in another room since it won't be your bedtime yet.
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It's doable. I wasn't able to do it because my daughter could not understand why I was there but not nursing her, so my husband had to deal with her at night. I was hiding on the far side of the bed not making a peep. He was talking to her but not picking her up, until she got the message that it's night and not time to eat or play. It took a few days and yes, she was crying, but I could hear it in her voice that she wasn't scared or hungry, just upset that no one is picking her up and helping her fall back asleep.
We did wait till we knew she's ready to night wean, and till we've seen that she's able to put herself to sleep in other circumstances. And also had to wait for DH to be ready
because normally he's impossible to wake at night... he didn't volunteer to help until it was a desperate situation.
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@sauerkraut: Do not despair mama! We room share too (DS is 14 months), and we got serious about "sleep training" around 8 months when he was a real risk to himself by rolling out of our bed. Sleep training in quotes because it was pretty mild. Basically I taught him to sleep in his pack n play near our bed by simply being willing to pat his back even time he work up until he got the hang of sleeping on his own. I would say it took about 2 weeks, and some regressions when he was sick. But now, he does not expect to get up into our bed, and if he wake up at all overnight, all it takes is me patting his back and he falls back asleep. Which I take as success!
Let me know if you have any specific questions! He did cry pretty badly for 3-4 nights but then it got way, way better. Good luck!
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@Mama Bird: Ugh same. It was all me. Why is that??
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Thanks to everyone who responded to this! I didn't mean to abandon the thread - my house got hit with norovirus, and then a fever/runny nose thing, so not much sleep training (or forum posting) over the last few weeks. Still, I have had some success with letting her cry in a controlled way when my nighttime patting/soothing routine isn't doing the trick, or when I can kind of tell that she's not truly awake, just slightly roused and making noise.
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@littlejoy: This is exactly what I'm trying, but all these illnesses are really getting in my way - she wants to nurse even more for comfort when she's under the weather, and it's really hard not to pick her up. Love to see your post if you do find it.
@mama bird: I'm an independent mama, so I'm doing this or it's not getting done
Your're right about being able to hear in her voice that she's just angry about me not coming over, though. And I've realized that she will stop the yelling after a few minutes if I'm not coming over.@wrkbrk: Thanks for the vote of confidence! Did you night wean at the same time? I think it's the expectation that I'm going to pick her up and nurse her that's really throwing us off.
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@sauerkraut: No, he had stopped taking a bottle over night before that. Yikes it does sound difficult to do both at once
But I'm sure your Lo will adapt! They all do!
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@wrkbrk: thanks! even after these bouts of sickness, I think she's doing better than when I wrote the original post. I'm thinking of setting one or two official nursing times during the night, and just steeling myself up about not nursing except then. Maybe that will help with her expectations? Worth a shot!
because normally he's impossible to wake at night... he didn't volunteer to help until it was a desperate situation.
Your're right about being able to hear in her voice that she's just angry about me not coming over, though. And I've realized that she will stop the yelling after a few minutes if I'm not coming over.
But I'm sure your Lo will adapt! They all do!
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