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Yeah, agree that it's not appropriate.
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@Mrs. Jump Rope: I feel like I've been agreeing with a lot of your advice lately!!
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No No No No No. Noooooooooo (like a slow-motion no!). Love ya hon, but it's not about you!
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I think quietly pulling MIL aside that day and telling her is no big deal. It is way better telling in person.
I mean as long as your not standing up and making a big announcement to the room at the party I don't see what the big deal is of quietly telling family members while you are seeing them.
But our family is a family that loves to share all good news no matter what the occasion is that we are together for.
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@mrbee: hugs!
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Just wanted to clarify that we would NOT be doing some big announcement (e.g. while niece is opening her presents, shout out "I'm pregnant!"). We would've just told our immediate family while we were all together, but probably at the end of the problem and/or one on one as to not make a huge deal out of it.
But I get it loud and clear - don't tell at the party, even if it means not telling people in person and having them just speculate about me since I look obviously pregnant. We'll stick with our original plan and tell people over the phone a couple weeks later.
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I agree with other. Wait until the end and tell them
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Can you call your family before the party and tell them. Then they don't need to speculate and you're not stealing thunder.
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@Adira: I didn't think you'd jump out of a cake and shout IM PREGNANT!!! at the party, but you do plan on making an announcement. So regardless of your delivery, it's still sharing your news at someone else's party.
Now I'm dying to see a bump photo.
And I would totally let people speculate about me. Let them talk! You'll share the news soon enough.
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@Mrs. Jump Rope: That's true. Figured I'd ask the Hive before I actually did anything. And I don't have a recent bump photo (I take them every 4 weeks), but I'd say I look about 16-18 weeks pregnant (compared to last time).
I guess I'll just let them speculate. It'll just be annoying when they do the whole "I knew it!" when we finally do announce.
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@Adira: I second the call for a bump photo
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@Adira: just wear something flowy and loose or call them before the party.
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@littlek: Not sure I have anything loose and flowy enough, but I'll scrounge my wardrobe!!
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@Adira: they're going to say "I knew it!" no matter when you announce!
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@Mrs. Jump Rope: so true! And who cares if they do?
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@Mrs. Jump Rope: @littlek: True! It's just annoying!!
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@littlek: @Adira: well, I guess the "I knew it!!!" remarks don't actually matter but they are kind of annoying? But really, regardless of when or how you announce there's always that one person who totally called it but really had absolutely no idea you were having baby making sex.
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@Adira: Why not take the "I knew it!!" comments in a loving way, meant with their excitement for your bebe #2? Some family members will say "I knew it" to any announcement for anyone of child-bearing age
I don't see any issue with telling them before the party if you want, it's just "an announcement *at* a party" that I think most people are saying to shy away from.
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@yoursilverlining: Well, if I'm going to tell them over the phone anyway, I'm going to do it when we originally planned to tell people, at 14ish weeks. The only reason I was even considering telling people this early is because we were going to see them in person! So if not at the party, we won't tell them at all until later!
And I'll TRY to take the "I knew it" comments lovingly, but it will be hard!! I feel like those comments are just validating that I either look fat or people have been gossiping about me for not eating the lunch meat or something!!
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@Adira: I didn't like the "I knew it" comments either! Usually because they came from people who were always guessing I was pregnant for months before I was. Once I was actually pregnant and they said it sometimes I wanted to say back "anyone with half a brain could have guessed... Good job!" Hahaha
Also agree just tell them after
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@Adira: I think people just like to feel included and close to you and that's where the "I knew it" comments come from. They don't mean you look fat or anything else. They come from a place of love and excitement.
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@Mrs. Champagne: haha, seriously! Last time, we didn't tell until 14 weeks, so we had a couple opportunities where we saw family and I didn't have a drink or something and then they apparently just gossiped about me for weeks until we finally came clean! I think THAT'S what annoyed me the most - knowing that they were talking about me like that!
@swedishfish: Really???? Maybe I'm taking "I knew it" too literally??? I could see saying something like "Yay!!! I was hoping that you were!" or something like that, but saying "I knew it" seems like you're saying I look pregnant or you've been watching my every move and scrutinizing it!
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@Adira: I don't get why you can't just quietly tell your MIL while you are there and tell her to keep it quiet since you won't be seeing her in person for quite some time.
Personally I'd rather tell people in person than on the phone, it is more exciting to me that way.
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@ALV91711: haha, there's NO way my MIL could keep it quiet!!!! Last time she sobbed like a baby, haha. Which was totally sweet, but also in private!
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@Adira: if it makes you feel any better, I agree that sometimes people just like to feel part of it - I told my mom today and she said "that's why you've been so emotional!!" ...uh, say what? I missed my period today! Lol. I HAVE been emotional, but not that she knew - I've only talked about it with a friend. Oh well - lol
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@Adira: Lol!! That is sweet, but not if your trying to be hush.
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@Adira: I found my second pregnancy announcement didn't get as big a reaction as my first did.
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@sorrycharlie: haha, yeah, when we told my grandmother, she made some comment about me looking chubbed out, so she was totally wondering if I was pregnant. Um... thanks grandma...
@swedishfish: That's true - I suspect the reaction won't be quite as extreme as the first time around! But I still don't trust her to keep it quiet! She's VERY chatty, so I just can't imagine her not mentioning it if we told her!
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@Adira: I'm 24w and everyone knows. I told my cousins myself.
At a Mother's Day picnic my youngest cousin (7) comes up to me and says, "are you havig a baby or something?" and I said yes, and he replied "WHEW. I thought you were getting fat!"
which is exactly what his older brother said when I was 18w along with Chloe. What a turd!
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@Mrs. Jump Rope: hahaha, at least it was a kid! They can get away with saying stuff like that!! I'm worried about adults asking me and implying that I'm fat!!
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Meh, I don't see the issue with telling people in person at a party (except maybe an engagement party!) as long as it wasn't some big announcement, but maybe your MIL would make a big deal of it so it would steal thunder? I feel like with #2, anyone will tell will be in a much more low key way. That's how it's gone with most of my close friends and subsequent babes. Just like, so we're having another baby! And it's like, oh great, congrats. No further questions needed!
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@birdofafeather: Yeah, MIL may make it a bigger deal than I intend it to be, which I hadn't really thought about before! Probably to just be safe and ensure I don't hurt anyone's feelings, it would be better if I didn't tell anyone at the party.
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@Adira: I think waiting a few weeks is a great idea!
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Well I'm glad that's all sorted!! I've only just seen this thread and it was a roller coaster of emotions starting with "Noooooo" and ending with "Phew!".
@Adira: I totally understand why you would want to announce then. It's so convenient with everyone together and, like you say, you're already showing..... but I agree with the all-knowing, wise Hive on this one.
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@Adira: i know you want to wait until later but do you think you could tell them before the party? I'm just thinking of a situation where someone does notice you look different and straight up asks you if you're pregnant? I know that most people wouldn't ever dare ask a woman that question but some people actually have the balls to ask especially family members.
So if someone does ask you, would you say no?
That's the only reason I would suggest telling them privately before the party.
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@Adira: I know when I was pregnant, I was so sure everyone could tell and that I'd never be able to hide it. But honestly, people are so into their own stuff that most of the time they're not thinking about whether or not you might or might look like you are knocked up. It was like 26-28 weeks before people started noticing with me and I got a lot of "wow, I had no idea" (though second babies are harder to hide!)
I'd just go in good faith and deal with any questions privately (which it sounds like you are now planning to do it that way). Just don't be self-conscious of what others are thinking and you'll be fine.
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@Adira: if they do, you can just say you were waiting until xxx weeks so you were sure everything was going smoothly
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@pmrlady: haha, if someone straight up asked me if I was pregnant, I'd probably say "Are you calling me fat?????"
@Mrs. Jacks: That's true. Hopefully no one will actually be scrutinizing me! But we've already gotten questions from my ILs about when we're having baby #2, so I imagine we'll get more questions at the party too! Ugh.
@JennyD: That's true!
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@Adira: Ugh, hate that, I went to a birthday party when I was about 9 weeks along and totally got asked when we were going to have another! I just said something lame like, "We'll see." If they'd asked if I was pregnant I totally would've accused them of calling me fat, haha. But no one did, I just wore a shirt that had some flow or ruffles to it when I wanted to conceal.
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@wonderstruck: haha, yeah, I was actually already pregnant when we saw everyone at Easter and they asked when we were having #2! I was just really noncommittal about it and didn't confirm or deny anything!
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