we are doing our first IUI this cycle and I have been struggling emotionally with IF. My RE has a monthly support group and I am debating on going. I need positive, hopeful thoughts and heard someone describe a support group as a room full of sad and desperate people that made them feel worse. If you attended a support group, what was the atmosphere and did you find it helpful? Thanks.
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I don't have direct experience, but I think what can be great about support groups is seeing people who are on the other side and have overcome their struggles. So I guess I would ask your RE if any of their graduates attend or it's just people still struggling to get pregnant as that would probably have a big effect on the vibe in the room.
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I think it is a great shot! I truly found HB to be my support and where I could vent the most!
I also put a lot down on paper, I would just write a post and sometimes never post it, but writing my thoughts and feelings down somehow made them seem real and helped me move past them!
I also love to help others understand IF so in that I am here to help anyway I can! Or even just to listen!
Feel free to Wall me anytime!!! I mean it! -
I went to an infertility support group. My husband didn't want me to go because he thought it would be full of women who have done all the treatments and are still childless after years and years. It turns out I was one of the more "seasoned" IFers since many others hadn't even undergone treatments yet. I found that, in and of itself, kinda depressing! A lot of it was mostly sharing answers to practical questions re: treatments, doctors, etc. rather than feelings. It was nice to not feel so alone in the journey. And it's therapeutic to tell your "story" so it's not just in your head.
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@raintreebee: I agree with telling your path/story that really helped me!
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I have only used online support and never been to a face to face IF meeting. I have found coworkers and friends that have gone through or going through IF treatments and it has always been helpful to talk about.
There is a local IF support group but I've heard the person that runs it is a life coach counselor so she maybe be running the meetings to gain clients. I never ended up going but I can see how that would make things difficult if there were other reasons the meeting was held... But I can see that with her experience she might be a good person to lead meetings.
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I tried to start a support group in my community through Resolve, but after the initial training webinar they never sent me the next steps. I eventually just stopped trying.
I think some type of support is so important when you're going through IF treatments. I shared the details with two close friends, my mom, and MIL. If you aren't open about your journey with anyone in your life I think a group would be beneficial.
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I think it might be nice to see girls from your community that can offer you support face-to-face. Even if you don't like the group as a whole, maybe you will meet one girl who you can meet separately with for coffee sometime.
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I agree with @raintreebee: about sharing your story. I attended a support-like group. It was a yoga class for fertility. All of the women in that class were there to heal, and for support. It was so therapeutic and I'm still in touch with those women.
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Honestly I think it depends on the group. But I don't think it hurts too much to try once or twice. If you find the right group I think it's invaluable.
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I think it's a great idea if you're just starting out, and you can really get some great advice from the folks already there. I found groups invaluable at the beginning - though I have to say, the longer I was at it (and again, on the road to #2) the harder it was to be as excited & hopeful, if that makes sense? But the more we can share how we're feeling, the more we might relate to someone else who feels EXACTLY the same as you, you know?
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I think it would be a great opportunity to be around people who really get the emotional struggle of infertility.
Regular friends are great, but at least in my experience, I felt like they just didn't get how hard it was.
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I think it would be therapeutic to be around those that understand your struggle and emotional hardship. My group of childhood friends who I consider my best friends are super fertile and would always say the wrong things to me. I don't think it was ill intended, they just didn't understand what I was going through. Around them we were always talking about babies, children, baby showers, all things baby related. An IF support group would have been helpful for me a few years ago.
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The local Resolve representative in my area never even got back to me when I emailed about joining. But on the plus side, I ended up finding a Christian support group for mothers who had experienced loss. I reached out to them and asked about infertility and they were so welcoming. Several of the women had infertility as part of their story. They have since updated the group description to include infertility and a couple of other women have joined in who are struggling with IF. I found this group perfect for me because, as a Christian, it was so refreshing to see find scripture to pray and rejoice in, even in this time of sorrow and longing. Hoping you find the support you need soon!
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I did everything through blogging and it was essential. With online threads people kept getting pregnant and leaving and each time it would hurt a little bit on blogs I could find many more people in the exact same spot as me. I'm now part of a FB group of IF bloggers who all got pregnant around the same time. Some had been trying for a couple of years and some much longer. It was a great help. The Stirrup Queen'sBlogroll is a good place to start.
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