Hi all! Looking for some actionable advice here that can assist with addressing and managing the tantrums of a very .... expressive 17 month old. Her older sister of course had the usual tantrums (still does to a certain extent as a 3 year old), but she was and is very consequence driven. She does not like to be “in trouble” and as a toddler, generally took instruction pretty well if she was told that she couldn’t do something. She also wasn’t much a risk taker so that was helpful since I wasn’t constantly telling her “no” because was climbing something she shouldn’t.

My younger one is much more mischievous. She knows she shouldn’t throw food, drinks, climb on tables, scoot behind the blinds.....but she will still look you in the eye, do it while you’re watching, and giggle about it. If she’s called out for her behavior, she just smiles and goes about her way (her older sister would have been immediately upset about being in trouble). How the heck do you discipline if this response? I’ve tried being neutral and non reactive (just removing her from the situation or taking away what she threw down with a calm no), I’ve tried using a louder voice (particularly if she’s doing something possibly dangerous like climbing the table or slugging a heavy cup that could land on the dog or sister), we even tried a time out (but that’s relatively useless on a one year old!). I imagine she’ll outgrow this especially since many of tantrums start when we can’t understand what she’s trying to communicate, and that should improve once she has more words to work with, but in the interim, is it better to be non reactive? Or does that lead to her thinking she can do what she wants with no consequence? I also want her older sister to see us being consistent with punishments since I don’t want her to think we’re unfairly harsh with her while her younger sister gets away with murder.

And edited to add, when I say “punishment” I really just mean “consequence” or “reaction.” Discipline is a different beast at such a young age so I know certain reactions are unproductive when so young.

Thanks!