Depressing post I know, but my grandma is in the ICU, and there's a very good chance she's not going to make it through the day. I spent the day up at the hospital yesterday with all my aunts/uncles and cousins, and we were all able to tell her we love her and say our goodbyes. However, I did not bring my girls up to the hospital. How do you talk to your 2-3 year old about losing a family member? I want to be honest with her but I also know that the concept is not going to be easy for her to grasp. My grandpa passed away 8 months ago, but she was too young then to grasp the concept, she just knows he's in heaven, but now that she's a bit older, I think she will understand it more.
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We drove up to my grandparents old house this past weekend and my son asked why we didn't see great-grandpa anymore and asked where he lives now.
My grandfather passed away when J was 1.5, so he doesn't remember.
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My gma passed away dec 2013 - my DD was almost 3 - I didn't tell her anything - she didn't ask either.
DS was 5 and I told him that it was her time to go. That we are put on this earth for a certain time and we never know when we will die. He had a lot of questions and I just answered them honestly. He wanted to know if I was going to die - I told him that I don't know when I will die but I hoped I lived for a long time - I kinda babbled at some point I am sure - its a tough subject.
So sorry about your gma
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I'm sorry to hear your Grandma is not well. I have not yet read this book but I heard about it here I think and have it on my Amazon wish list for the future (our dog is 12 years old) LO is only 5 mo but I expect her to be a toddler when we lose him since he's not doing great.
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I guess this really depends on if you are religious or not. We are not religious and I have already had several talks with my son, I think he was 3 when he started asking questions (my mom passed away a number of years ago so he knows she died). I'm just really honest with him. I told him that when people die their body is still here but the part that makes them alive is gone. That they will never be back again. I told him that no one knows what happens to that living part. And then I explained what different religions or cultures believe might happen. It was interesting because he really listened and kept asking all sorts of questions, some of which were really sad (mama, will you die someday too?).
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I've had to have frank discussions with my 3 year old, her brother died in childbirth last year. She surprised me by understanding more than I thought she would. She still asks why he died, and brings him up at random times. She's just trying to make sense of it. We aren't religious, so I just say that his body was too little for the world, and that we won't ever see him again. She then brings up my grandmother and aunt and brother in law, who all died last year too. My mom thinks I'm too honest with her about it all, but I don't feel like it's more than she can handle. I think it's important to not sugar coat these things. I want her to know that it's okay to be sad and angry and cry when someone dies, to have those big feelings is normal.
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http://www.hellobee.com/2013/06/06/explaining-death-to-preschoolers/
http://www.hellobee.com/2015/05/15/handling-questions-about-death-and-beyond/
I can't find it, but I think someone posted about a beautiful story about these babies that lived under the water, but one by one they would leave and not come back, so this one thing promised the others that it will come back to tell them where it went. So what happened was that it became a butterfly?? And it could no longer go back into the water to tell its friends.
Personally I'd be teaching my kids about God/heaven, etc.
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We are religious so my DD knows about God and his kingdom that part I explain to her about her great grandpa when asked, it's the "whys" that i'm going to struggle with as I am emotional about this situation the way it is. It's a very abstract concept for a 2 1/2 year old to understand but i do find it necessary to explain why grandma might not be around anymore.
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I think bibliotherapy (using books to help explain death) is very helpful.
Your librarian is a great resource, just be sure to screen the books for any confusing euphemisms.
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Not quite the same, but we had to put our dog down last year. We just told DD1 that he died, went to heaven (in the clouds) and wasn't coming back. There have been a few awkward moments when she sees someone with a dog and proceeds to tell them that our dog is dead, but overall, she accepts the finality of it and moves on.
ETA: I'm sorry about your grandmother
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I'm so sorry about your grandmother. There was an article on Slate about using books to talk to your kids about death (though from a non-religious perspective): http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/books/2015/05/children_s_picture_books_about_death_lifetimes_alfie_and_the_birthday_surprise.html
One of the books mentioned resonated with me - talking about how all living things have a beginning and an end, including plants, animals, etc.
My grandfather passed away when J was 1.5, so he doesn't remember.
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