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I can definitely see your point and I would imagine that people being militant about one idea but pro another seemingly conflicting idea can really rub people the wrong way.

I agree with the chart you posted but we aren't militant about it. It seems like some people get upset if the child is even asked to do those things and we both ask and gently encourage but always accept no for an answer (and frequently it is no.) All this stuff with parenting where we are almost forced to choose sides is so hard and divisive and images like that one seem to exacerbated the problem in my opinion. We make the decision that's right for our family, if you ask I'll briefly explain our choice but that's it.

I guess you could say my DH is pro circumcision, he was not circumcised and I guess it caused him a lot of problems as a child, he even got an infection when he was around 5ish, so he was adamant about DS being circumcised. Other than that scenario, I had no idea this was a thing lol.

I encourage my child to show affection (hugs, kisses, blowing kisses, high fives, etc.) but let's be real - he doesn't have autonomy over his body. He's a child. We decide that diapers need to be changed, clothes need to be worn, he needs to sit in a car seat, and on and on.

@Mrs. Goose: I don't want to veer too far off topic, but there are entire countries where men don't circumcised, and there aren't rampant issues with infection. My husband nor anyone in his family has ever had a problem with infection. I'm sure it happens, but it's rare. And many times, the infections are attributed to people trying to clean it incorrectly (never pull back foreskin, clean as you would clean a finger).

On the other hand, two little boys in my immediate circle of mom friends' kids had reattachment after circs and had to go back in and have it redone. =( That's 2 out of 6 boys. That's a high number for my personal circle.

@Mrs. Goose: like @Anagram: said, I assume it was because he wasn't aware of how to properly clean it or being a 5 year old boy he just didn't do it. My MIL is from the "older generation" so I wouldn't be surprised if He was taking baths by himself at 3 🙄

I can understand the not forcing physical affection but asking for it shouldn't be a problem. I was raised that its more important that there are certain important safety words that we had to respect. No means no. Stop means stop.

I'm alright with letting her make decisions about everything else on that list, but she's going to give grandma a hug. My mom expects them, and it's polite. She has to learn that some things are just social expectations. Yes, you need to give your grandma a hug, just like yes, you will have to shake that gross, sweaty guys hand in that business meeting. She can't stomp her foot and say no as an adult. That being said, grandma and grandpa are the only people we expect her to hug. We have never had to "force" her.

However, we have taught her about strangers. She knows that people are not supposed to touch her in any way she doesn't like, and if someone tries she is to come tell a trusted adult immediately. I mean.... she's 4.5, so it's a little easier for us. She understands "stranger danger" a little more now.

@T.H.O.U.: I agree. I don't force my daughter to hug anyone, but I will say "Want to give grandma a hug before we go?" If she doesn't, that's okay and I'll usually encourage a wave (or blowing a kiss. I don't see what's wrong with that one. Lol) but I thinking asking/suggesting it isn't wrong.