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We moved with a 3 yo and a 9 month old this fall. The 9 mo didn't care. For our 3 yo, we saw the house a few times together, told her which room would be hers, let her pick out some stuff for her room (yellow walls, she picked a quilt). We had a lot of rooms we wanted to paint but only a couple days between closing and moving so we only painted her room.

On moving day, it happened to be her first gymnastics class anyway. So we did last minute packing and breakfast at home, then when the movers arrived, I took the kids and went to the class while DH stayed back with them. Then I went to a friend's house for most of the day until things were settled at the house and her room was made up a little.

The move itself seemed to go pretty well and she slept fine from the beginning. We had a lot of behavioral issues this year, but she had a new sister, moved, started school, and became a threenager, so I don't think we could have done anything else really.

When I was a nanny my family moved when the kids were 2.5 and 5. I worked that day so there was a dedicated person whose only responsibility was the children. We popped in and out so they could see the process without stress. So we did sidewalk chalk outside and watched the old house get packed up, then we said goodbye to the old house and went out to lunch somewhere familiar and went to my apartment for nap - this was unusual, but not unprecedented, so still familiar. Then we went to the new house and watched the unloading for a while, then went to a park and to fetch takeout for dinner while everything got settled without us.

@littlejoy: We have moved several times: when my oldest was 1, 2, and 5, and my youngest was 1.5. I find that on the actual moving day it's better to find another activity to do out of the house (we have always had professional movers). It's just easier to keep kids out of the way of moving furniture, and honestly the truck just needs to get loaded as quickly as possible. Same for unloading, I think. We've planned playdates with friends or other fun (nearby) outings. Asking a friend to watch your DD for a few hours wouldn't be a bad idea in case you need to be available for anything (like when you're unloading helping to direct where the boxes go or getting lunch for those who are loading the truck). Good luck with your move!

We moved when DD was 2 + 2 months so but quite the same, but the things that helped were (as you mention) breaking down her old room/furniture last in old house and setting up first in new house, having her out of the way (daycare) during actual move day, and letting her have a "picnic" at the new house the first day of the move. She still talks about the picnic 6 months later and that part wasn't even intentional

She had a week or so-so sleep and I think she might have had a few potty accidents but overall she adjusted very well and quickly.

Actually, another thing that wasn't totally intentional was taking her back to the old house and showing her that it was empty (especially her room). That was a few weeks later though.