Hellobee Boards

Yep. My husband just finished his MBA and he really loved most of his classes. He was working full time and going to school at night and I was home with a baby all day and night alone. He'd get home and want to tell me alllll about whatever they were talking about in class and 1) I don't find most business stuff interesting, and 2) I was worn out from a long day with the baby and I just wanted to sit quietly and not talk or interact with anyone.

But I remember that I read this article once (no clue where now) about how one huge predictor of happiness in a relationship and future divorce is whether or not couples respond to each others' "bids." The researchers found that when one person reaches out to try to talk to the other and that person blows them off it is the sort of thing that makes the other person either stop trying to talk to them and/or become upset with their partner. The couples that responded to more of their partners' bids are the ones that stayed happily married more than those who responded to less bids.

That doesn't mean I was always able to act interested when I wasn't. I've not been my best self/wife this past year for sure. But I really tried to participate in the convo as much as possible because I do think it is important for the long term happiness of our marriage.

I think it's totally normal. After a long day sometimes all I want is silence not mindless chit chat. A baby makes that feeling so much stronger.

God yes! I was always feeling so irritated by chatter about golf or crossfit or anything lol. But I am trying to make more of an effort because u know it helps our relationship when I show interest in things that are important to him!

@Mae: I think about this a LOT in my marriage. I'm the chatty one, and my husband is relatively quiet, but he loves to tell me about what he's working on or reading about. Our interests only overlap to a certain degree, so often I'm not actually all that into what he's so eager to tell me about. But I always do my best to try to take an interest in it, because I know it matters to him, and I love seeing what he's into, and because it's just a fun way to connect. I try to never turn away a 'bid' for connection, and I think that it really contributes positively to our marriage.