I'll try to be brief though there's many thoughts..
I am 9 weeks pregnant (YAY!) and my husband and I are really excited about the baby. I am a bit less excited about how tired I feel now All. The. Time.
Some background: I am a child psychologist and currently work at 5 different schools managing a caseload that fluctuates between 35-40 kids, supervise several graduate students, and overall work around 50 hours a week. I love my job but being a therapist is draining in that you have to be Ever Present with your client. My husband was a career changer and tried to get into teaching but could not find a job. He has been unemployed for about a year spending the majority of it not trying to get a job bc teaching jobs open in the spring/summer. He recently started applying to jobs again in his old field. To be fair, since being at home he does the bulk of the housework and also drives me to work because I do not drive (thats another story for another day).
My problem is that I am having trouble managing my daily work routine and then walking through the door to be barraged with "Did you call the real estate agent?" "did you follow up on our tickets?" and so forth. He knows I work long hours but also thinks I have all sorts of breaks during the day --which I can only have if I cut into a student's session. He sends texts even when I tell him I'm with a student and asks that I follow up on things while I'm at work. I sometimes I feel he doesn't respect my work. Which whatever.
But right now, when I am so damned tired the last thing I need when I come home is to be given a list of things to follow up on. He's told me that he knows Im tired but that just because I'm pregnant doesnt mean I dont have to meet my responsibilities. I get it. But come on! For instance, when I tried to take a nap the other day, he suggested I skip it and help him type things for his job interview and just go to bed earlier. Which would maybe work if I didn't have to take my turn taking the dogs out at 10pm which he won't change.
I just think that given that he is not working he can perhaps take on more of responsibility here. For instance, he won't contact our realtor because they are "my" family friends, so I should call. He won't call the loan officer because I am the one that knows them. Won't follow up on our flight tickets to my friend's wedding because it's "my" best friend. I get it. But we are BOTH buying a hosue, he needs a loan more than I do, and we are both going on vacation... We are looking to buy a house, in part because we can't afford to live in our current apartment anymore because the rent is too high for my salary and we have spent a considerable portion of our savings living here. I feel frustrated but he is so sensitive about not working that I can't bring it up without it turning into a Huge Deal. I talked to him today about how I need at least a half hour a day to myself to wind down without questions, tasks to do, or him making jokes or teasing me about what Im watching on tv/eating/doing. I am so tired and would just love a few minutes of peace and quiet... He got upset and told me to go in another room then. But damn, he is home ALL DAY. I just want a little time to relax too. I know he's probably lonely, I was actually unemployed last year while finishing my dissertation and grad school and I was always desperate for someone to talk to at the end of the day.
(and no, he won't consider couple's counseling bc therapy doesn't work since the therapist doesnt know you --nice jab at my job there)
He really is a wonderful man and has so many positive qualities which I clearly didn't get into in this post. And I am no angel and am messier than he is. He is a NEAT FREAK. but right now these are my frustrations.
Is this normal? Aren't we supposed to be blissfully happy right now, not wanting to strangle him a bit?