pomegranate / 3643 posts
@HourThyme: I hope you didn't take it as me saying that you were the problem or anything! I just felt like I related to your DH on some things. And it's always easier to fix yourself that someone else, you know?
And yeah, sometimes relationship advice on this forum can get a bit...intense. Sometimes you just need to vent! For whatever reason it seems easier to remember to take the whole picture into account when listening to a friend vent about her guy, but online when we know less we start diagnosing more. And it's not super helpful to spend your time defending someone when you just want a solution to your problem, or someone to understand and say yes, pregnsncy fatigue SUCKS! (And I really don't think some guys (or women who didnt have it) get it. Like, they understand that pregnancy makes you tired. But that is a whole different ball game than "I can barely keep my eyes open to drag myself to eat a cracker" first trimester fatigue!) I actually worried about you for a couple hours later!
This too shall pass. And with every new change in the relationship, it takes a bit to find your groove. And there is always give and take. Like, I wanted DH to give me foot rubs when I was pregnant and he refused because he thought it would send me into early labor. And I'm totally going to make DH call the insurance company tomorrow while he is at work because I can't deal with them any more. Which means he will have to stay a little late and I will have kids on my own a little longer. It's all just give and take. Just keep explaining where you are coming from and be open to hearing his side! You'll be fine!
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Aren't you sorry you asked? Kidding, kind of...this forum can get rather intense when someone writes a long post and details all the things that are bothering them.
coffee bean / 46 posts
Thanks for your kind response! I was definitely extra frustrated in my original response and sat down and typed it up in the moment.
I was on weddingbee before and really looking for a similar community in this next step, especially before the 12 week mark when I can finally let people know! Even then though, I don't have a lot of friends who have had children so I think I'll be sticking around here for a while
@jedeve: Actually your post really helped me step back and maybe consider things from his perspective! It was really useful bc right now I am sorta feeling a little Me Me ME and it's easy to forget he's dealing with a lot too and that there are some things he just doesnt get because it's not his body and he's never been there before. Sometimes he says things that to me are soooo annoying like "the doctor said you need to exercise" when I can barely keep my eyes open and sitting on the couch reading emails is taking all the energy I have to give. Out of context he would seem like an ass, but really I think he's trying but you know, just doesn't get it....
I definitely think we have to take time to find our groove and both learn a little more about give and take and balance!
It's a tough time right now with him trying to find a job, me trying to get my professional license, trying to buy a house, and then throw in the baby into the mix!
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