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My son turned 2 last week and OMG, he is suddenly so opinionated about everything. "I want Elmo cup", "I wear fire truck shirt", "I eat green plate" - things he has never cared about before. He's more likely to stand and whine incessantly when he doesn't get his way than he is to actually tantrum, but I feel your pain with the sudden change in behavior.

We actually saw the doctor today and she said the only solution is ignoring it, but that's a lot easier for her to say when she hasn't been listening to it all morning

Oh my god, Evan screamed for like hour this morning because, god forbid we not let him wear his favorite (pee-soaked) sweatshirt to bed, which racheted up when I was annoyed with D not moving the thing out of his sight and put it in the washer, and kept on when we tried to put dry PJs on him.

And we cycled through a whole #reasonsmytoddleriscrying post a few nights ago. He asked for applesauce, then screamed no and started to cry and threw it on the ground (after grabbing it from my hand). Same thing with a piece of bread, milk and blueberries (after I had filled his bottle and washed the berries, of course). and of course D was still at work. That night I skipped a bath, pushed him through brushing his teeth and putting on a diaper and PJs (the dark bruises on my arms and on my hip can attest to the mood he was in--namely, kicking me. Or bicycling his legs wildly and I just happened to be in the kick-zone--he wasn't TRYING to kick ME, I was just in the way but determined to get him dressed and the lights off because my patience was snapping and I didn't want to yell at him.

Normally we just try hard to go on like the tantrum isn't happening. He's screaming about his pee-sweater and D and I are enthusing about PJs with foxes on them like we can't hear him. Then PJs with cars, then about the ABCs on his new dry sheets. Whatever we could do to distract (and change) him. And he never went back to sleep, even though he woke up around 5 this morning. But he was at least eventually distracted into a better mood--crayons, Daniel Tiger, promise of a banana.

Normally that's what we aim for, but sometimes I just have to grit my teeth and do whatever I have to do to get through it (and give myself some room to breathe and restore my patience.)

Sometimes we try to reason him through it/ignore it completely, but this normally happens on the weekends, when we have awake time with him and aren't rushing through very early morning exhaustion, getting out of the house on time for school/work, getting to bed, etc. We'll tell him that we'll listen to him when he uses his words, that we can't help him when he's just screaming, then we'll keep talking to each other or going about doing whatever else. Normally he'll calm himself down, and once he does we'll ask him what he wants again. We still might say no, but we'll try to offer him a substitute suggestion: bananas instead of applesauce, car PJs instead of soaked sweater, coloring instead of playing the Endless Reader game on my phone....

Anyway, long story short: I feel ya.

The two's were not too bad for us. I'm currently struggling with the three's, and by struggle I really mean drowning. I feel like I'm dealing with a teenager every single day. Overall he is a great kid, but he has his moments. No is his favorite word, and boy is he stubborn. None of my previous methods work anymore. I'm completely lost. I really hope the four's are as wonderful as everyone says it is. If not, I don't think I'll have my sanity anymore.

I think young 2 is tougher because they don't have their words. My LO is almost 2.5 and much better at expressing what's wrong so we avoid tantrums.

@CherryBee: what is it about tummies and tantrums? My daughter never scratched herself, but she went through a phase around 20-22 months where when she got mad she'd say "shirt off!" And try to remove her top!

Agree 100% that having words helps. My 2 year old is very verbal and (touch wood) this seems to help her avoid the seemingly senseless meltdowns. She still has plenty of demonstrations of will though - ie tossing a cup or toy down when I tell her to do/not to do something, then staring me down for a reaction. That is also frustrating!

I need to get better about not asking questions - I think I do it because I feel less bossy, but as others have said, it invites a kid to say "no!" When I didn't actually intend to offer a choice.

@BandDmommy: agreed! Two options give him power but not overwhelming. Apple or clementine? Makes him happy to choose but if I just ask what fruit he wants, he gets wigged out.