My friend is getting married next Saturday in town and I am trying to figure out what to do... DS2 will be 5 weeks then and I'm not sure if I should take him (if allowed) or if leaving him with my mom is even an option. He is ebf and I've only pumped once so far, so I'd have to get a little stash built up by then if I went with option 2.
WWYD in this situation? And if you have taken a newborn to a wedding, any advice?
88 votes
kiwi / 705 posts
We had a super important wedding (on the other side of the country) when DD was 4 weeks old. My mom was willing to watch her and bring her to the site between the ceremony and reception so I could feed her. Since the wedding is local maybe you could do something like that?
pineapple / 12793 posts
My second went to a wedding when she was 16 days old. The only people I'd have felt comfortable leaving her with were at the wedding. She was quiet the whole time. I left shortly after dinner to get my then two year old home for bed. DH stayed for the rest of the reception.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
Depends on the baby. My first baby, no way could I have brought her. I probably would have skipped it altogether. She cried. A lot. My second baby, if allowed, at five weeks I could have brought her to both no problem, much more chill.
How far would your mom be staying? What time is the wedding? I was recently at a wedding where the moh's husband brought her baby to the ceremony (walking him and leaving the second he got fussy) and he stayed with a babysitter for the reception, which was late and fancy and very loud.
pomelo / 5000 posts
If your baby is invited, I would take him. That's still so little and I would be stressed about my baby taking a bottle and being ok without me at that age.
apricot / 315 posts
If the couple don't mind I would take him and wear him. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my baby for more than an hour so early on, and my LO would have slept in a wrap for most of the time at that age. I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself anyway, so if bringing baby wasn't an option I would probably just pop in to the ceremony and pass on my best wishes then leave.
grapefruit / 4291 posts
Do you have a wrap or carrier? My wee guy was very portable at that age and I took him all sorts of places in my stretchy wrap!
pomegranate / 3231 posts
For a 5wo EBF baby, I would either skip the wedding or bring him/her along (with permission from the bride and groom, of course). Breastfeeding is too hard/stressful at that age for me to introduce the complication of us being apart. (My son was EBF and is now two.) I *might* have tried finding a babysitter to stay with the baby provided they could stay on the premises so I could stop by regularly during the event. And honestly, I would probably only bother with that for a BFF's wedding.
That being said, we took our son to a wedding when he was four months old, and as soon as the music was kicked up for dancing after dinner, I basically had to leave with the baby and leave my husband to party. (My husband was the best man, so from a social perspective I was the best choice to leave early. Plus breastfeeding.) Anyway the reason was that the music was way too loud and we were nervous about damaging his hearing. I don't even know if they make ear protection for a baby that small, or how effective it is, but you should factor that into your decision / logistics.
pineapple / 12053 posts
I could have done it with either of my girls at 5 weeks. I wouldn't have gone if they weren't invited because I wasn't comfortable leaving them for that length of time at that age.
nectarine / 2521 posts
If the bride is okay with baby coming then it's totally up to your comfort level ! My BFF went to a destination wedding at 6 weeks old and both did fabulous, I was a wreck until 8 weeks and no way.
Her baby cried once during the 2 hour ceremony and she went to a side roo and fed her, she also put her in a Moby wrap and danced the night away, I was way impressed .
persimmon / 1427 posts
We went to a wedding when LO was 6 weeks old (and EBF). My parents watched her and I pumped. It was so nice to have some adult time.
The wedding was black tie optional and started late (maybe 8pm). So it seemed really inappropriate to bring a baby.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
Agree that it depends on the baby. Both my girls were screamy colicky babies. They would've ruined the ceremony and would not sleep through a noisy wedding reception.
We had a close family wedding when DD1 was about 2 weeks? I just told them that I wouldn't know till week of. The baby was welcomed and they wanted us to bring her. but we had no desire to bring a NB to a noisy reception. My mom watched her while we were at the wedding. We left the wedding pretty early and my mom only needed to give her one bottle.
persimmon / 1111 posts
I'd check with your friend, but I'd bring him to the ceremony and then stay for dinner and then go home. Sit in the back and you'll have plenty of time to leave if he fusses
cherry / 160 posts
I would def take your baby. I wouldn't have been willing to leave my baby at that age. I took my daughter to a wedding when we was 6 weeks and wore her most of the time. It was fine. I ended up missing some of the ceremony because she was a little fussy (sit near the back and aisle so you can make a quick exit).
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
I wouldn't skip the wedding if my baby was invited but I would prob skip if it was a child free event. I wouldn't want to bother with a sitter at that age.
persimmon / 1095 posts
My niece was 8 weeks old at my wedding. She was no problem, but I did have a day wedding. I think my SIL and BIL had more difficulty with my 2 year old nephew.
persimmon / 1345 posts
I actually had two weddings (morning one and evening one) when LO was about a month old. She was EBF (and ended up only being EBF bc she hated the bottle) We took her and she stayed in the stroller and slept great. For the first wedding, when she got fussy, my husband took her to the hallway and walked her and she was fine. The hardest thing was trying to feed her with a long dress on 
Also, when LO was about 7 weeks old, I had an important local conference to attend that was about four hours. I pumped and supplied everything and left her with my mom. She refused refused to take the bottle and cried until I had to cut the conference short and come. Just a thought in case yours doesn't take a bottle too
clementine / 770 posts
I brought my 4 week old to my best friends wedding. She slept in her car seat right through the ceremony and was pretty chill all through reception. We left after the first dance around 9pm. I'm really comfortable with breastfeeding in public though so that's what I did when she got fussy during speeches.
nectarine / 2436 posts
I give you all props! I would just say no to going to the wedding. I was so overwhelmed and exhausted the first few weeks of having a newborn!
nectarine / 2951 posts
If baby is invited, go with baby. If baby isn't invited, I wouldn't go.
grapefruit / 4418 posts
There's no way I'd be comfortable leaving my 5 week old for longer than an hour. If bring her with me (mine was an easy baby though) or not go. I wouldn't enjoy myself if she was
Home.
pear / 1580 posts
I was MOH for an out-of-town wedding when LO was 9w, EBF. If it weren't for the MOH responsibilities, it would've been pretty simple. But even with being in the wedding party, we made it work. They're so portable at that age! (If your baby is on the easier side)
Some advice: Bring a bit of frozen stuff or formula just in case. This is probably obvious, but expect not to be a part of all the festivities.
cantaloupe / 6791 posts
I brought my then 6 week old to a wedding and he was fine. I wore him in a k'tan the entire time and took him back to the car to nurse. My 22 month old was wayyyy harder to handle!
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
If skipping is not an option, and you don't really want to pump and have to build up a stash and also figure out how you can pump during, I'd totally take a newborn. Looking back, I had a lot of FTM fears and but honestly newborn stage is very easy to go out with! All you'd have to do is nurse him a few times, and maybe try to wear him for naps!
cantaloupe / 6206 posts
Two questions: 1) Do you WANT to go? At 5 weeks pp, you couldn't have paid me to go to a wedding 2) Is he invited? We had a strict no babies policy (there would've been 25 infants at our wedding otherwise). However if they invited babies and you want to go, then yes bring him!
pomegranate / 3350 posts
What is the wedding location like? My sister's baby was 3 months at our wedding but still EBF and not local to them. There was a whole area where we had our wedding where one of BIL's family members stayed with my nephew and my sister was able to nurse, hang out with him as she wished. Best case scenario, I'd see if there was somewhere at the site that your mom could babysit comfortably. If not, maybe you could either go for the ceremony or part of the reception only. Talk to your friend and see what she suggests!
apricot / 448 posts
So, I am a terrible topic starter. 
thank you all for your advice, I ended up leaving him with my mom. I'm in Arizona and the ceremony was outside with the sun directly on me so that part would have been pretty miserable for him in the wrap. I checked in with my mom all night to make sure he was okay, or if I needed to leave/have her bring him to me-she was close by and would have been able to do so pretty easily.
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