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I am also looking forward to what @sandy has to say My LO (4 weeks) will stay asleep during the transfer but a lot of times will wake up a minute later! I do the very motherly thing and pick him up! (and worry about whether I'm creating a bad habit but at the same time don't want him leave him alone and cry)

@ElisaT: I sometimes comfort nurse but mainly at night time. I figure for now since he's still little, it's okay but later on, I'll need to figure out how to break the habit...

Do you swaddle? It is the only thing that worked for us. That and a pacifier.

I'm no help. Lo is almost 8 months old and needs movement to fall asleep still. She would never nap if I set her down when she was a newborn, and we aren't into letting her cry it out.

@BabyBruins: I definitely agree with others that sleep training is very dependent on each individual baby and you will know best if your baby is ready or not :). And who knows if what worked for me will work for others, but here's what we were able to do with success. Get ready, b/c this is going to be a long one and probably more than you want to know...but here goes:

Some background: My baby was 2 days overdue and really big and healthy - 8 lbs 8 oz baby girl delivered via c-section (b/c she couldn't descend past my pelvis...I'm 5 feet and 109 lbs). She is exclusively breastfed and weighed 12 pounds at her 2 month checkup.

I think I was just really blessed with a good sleeper...she slept 3-4 hours stretches at 2 weeks and as the weeks went on she sometimes slept 5-6 hours and I think around 6 weeks she slept 8 hours once...so I knew she was capable of sleeping long stretches, but the norm was 3-4 hours stretches. Probably around 6-8 weeks she was waking more and more frequently so I was spending more and more time holding/swaying her and also nursing her to sleep. I was physically exhausted and in pain from holding her so much and it just didn't make sense to keep feeding her so frequently. The books and her doctor told me that more frequent feedings only lead to more waking up and it's not a healthy cycle...baby is crying b/c he/she needs to sleep more not have her stomach constantly filled...especially b/c my baby was big and healthy and thriving...she didn't need to be fed so frequently. Also, she had shown me that she could sleep 8 hour stretches without a feeding.

The books/resources I used were Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (not helpful to me), Babywise (SO helpful and not extreme like everyone says...it does NOT say to withhold feedings if your baby is hungry), Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (informative, but not that helpful for practical tips) and Moms on Call (it's an online course developed by pediatric nurses THAT WAS SO HELPFUL...basically summarizes what all the books say and helped us get into a really great routine - http://www.momsoncall.com).

For naps, I was basically waiting until she was so tired and basically let her fall asleep while I held/swayed her and then put her in a swaddle and put her in her crib when she was asleep, but she would wake up as soon as I set her down and I would have to start over again. If I tried to leave her she would cry and cry and it would break my heart.

I was talking to another mom friend about how all the books say to put baby down "drowsy but awake" and how I didn't understand that. She said to try to put the baby in her crib about 15 minutes earlier than I was doing and to watch VERY carefully for tired signs...yawning is usually a sign that baby is past the tired stage. Babywise also says try to put baby down earlier for naps if baby is crying when you put her down...and most babies can only stay awake 45-60 minutes between naps (this includes the time you spend feeding...and Healthy Sleep Habits says that some babies even up to 5 months can only stay awake 1 hour at a time)...basically if baby is overtired, baby will cry and fight sleep b/c they have so much adrenaline from being kept awake.

So I watched her carefully (and also kept track of the time) and as soon as I saw her start to yawn I would do the following routine - make a shushing sound and pat her back and I carried her to her room, turned on the white noise machine, put her in her swaddle and keep making the shushing sound as I put her in her crib. Then I sat in a chair where she couldn't see me and turned on the timer on my phone. I was so sure it was going to be total failure and there would be no way she would fall asleep...I was convinced that she needed me to hold/sway her to sleep. It was almost like magic...she kind of fussed, but never full out cried (and I told myself I would only go pick her up to comfort her if she cried for 3 minutes)...well, after fussing around in her crib for maybe 10-15 minutes, she fell asleep and stayed asleep...it was a miracle! So I basically did this for all her naps and it worked.

Bedtime was so much harder for me. And Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child explains that day sleep is different than night sleep in terms of what is going on in the baby's brain. Even though we got naps down easily and I wasn't as physically exhausted from holding her for every nap, I was still holding/swaying her for bedtime b/c she was still crying...and it was just like they described in the Babywise book - I was holding/swaying her to sleep and the minute I set her down in the crib, her eyes would pop open and she would start crying...and then it would be "take it from the top" and starting over again with singing/holding/swaying...

What ended up working for me was following the Mom On Call schedule for 0-3 month old babies and once we had a good day routine in terms of naps and feedings, I gained more confidence that she wasn't hungry and that she was tired and ready for bed...and the bedtime routine we did was after her catnap, we would play for a little bit, then give her a bath, then lotion, pjs, diaper, white noise machine, last feeding, and then swaddle.

Then I had to mentally commit myself that I would set her down and only go pick her up to comfort her if she cried more than 3 minutes. I told myself no more swaying/holding to sleep b/c I couldn't keep doing it physically...my back was starting to kill me and she was still little and I didn't want to be doing it as she got older/bigger.

So I would set her down and set the timer on my phone and even though she no longer cried during her naps, she did cry during bedtime, but honestly it wasn't that bad. She would cry and if it was a full on cry I would make myself wait the 3 minutes, then I would go pick her up and hold her until she was calmed down (my baby would stop crying immediately) and the make a shush sound and pat her and set her back down...and usually she would start crying again, but I would make myself wait the 3 minutes. I knew she was okay b/c the minute I would go pick her up, she would stop crying...and I think she got it that I wasn't going to hold her for hours, so after doing it a few times, she would stop crying and fall asleep...and stayed asleep for 6-8 hours. It's hard to describe, but you can tell the difference in their cries...and the crying seems like forever without a timer, but when you watch the timer you realize they aren't crying for long and at least with my baby, she would kind of calm herself after a minute...and then maybe fuss for 3-4 minutes and sometimes she would fall asleep and other times she would cry again...then I would reset the timer and make myself wait another 3 minutes...it was rare that she cried for 3 minutes...maybe I would have to go pick her up and calm her 3-4 times, but that was better than the hours of holding/swaying to sleep...and when she fell asleep, she stayed asleep for 6-8 hours...and really, she only cried 2-3 days where she needed me to come in and comfort her...after that, she was able to fall asleep herself with just some fussing.

As she got older, she would occasionally do a 10 hour stretch (maybe around 11 weeks)...so I knew she was able to sleep for long stretches without a feeding...so if I heard her on the monitor after 6-8 hours, I would wait and she would never cry...just fuss...and would fall back asleep...sometimes it would take her 10-15 minutes, but she would go back to sleep. It is so hard at first b/c you want to always comfort and hold and feed your baby...but sometimes they need to be left alone to sleep. My baby is 4 months and 1 week now and she sleeps 12-13 hours at night and takes 3 naps a day (lasting at least 1.5 hours and sometimes 3 hours)...with sometimes a 30 minute catnap before bedtime.

There have been some set backs and nap issues as she got older (waking from naps at 30 to 45 minutes), but the lesson I learned is if I left her alone, she would fall back asleep 90% of the time.

Sorry this isn't all organized and well thought out, but I wanted to get back to you sooner rather than later...I know in the moment it is all you can think about. So this was what worked for me and I'm SOOO happy that my husband convinced me to do this. I know every baby is different and every situation is different, but this is what worked for me. And believe me, I NEVER thought it was going to work...I was convinced that I would have to hold/sway/sing her to bed for hours until she was a year old...but we started at 9 weeks and it only took a few days without much crying at all.

Best of luck and if you have any questions or need some support, please feel free to message me or send me an email and write back (I promise!) or I'll give you my phone number and will try to be there for you.

No matter what, even if sleep training doesn't work right now, you are doing a GREAT job and being the best mother to your baby

@sandy: This is a HUGE help!! Thank you so much for taking the time to explain your situation and how you went through everything.. step by step!

@ElisaT: that is exactly how I felt when first tried it...I was like "no way is this going to work...she is going to cry and i will have to calm her and pick her up"...the biggest hurdle is actually givin it a try and giving your baby the chance to fall asleep. I'm so happy that it worked for you...it really does feel like a miracle and it really changes your life when you are able to put your baby down and let her fall asleep. Probably around 3 months she would have a harder time and take longer to fall asleep or fuss a little louder or longer but always was able to fall asleep on her own. It is so hard to be confident that your little baby can fall asleep on her own...it is so hard to leave them alone. You did it! Good job mama!

@sandy - So we were out and about for a few days and LO ended up napping in the stroller, so I had to start nap training again. If LO cries then calms herself down before the 3 minute mark, do I start the timer again? She is trying to nap as I type this and it had been 45 minutes total since I put her down, but she has been fussing herself to sleep on and off. She'd cry for a minute or two very loudly, then fall asleep for 5 minutes, then repeat. I haven't gone in to get her yet since she hasn't cried a full 3 minutes and had been able to soothe herself, but when se starts crying again I don't know what to do. My heart is breaking every time she starts again, but I know she is able to soothe herself! (last night after 3am feeding I let her fuss/cry and she fell asleep after 20 minutes until 8am). This is hard and it sucks, but I know it needs to be done. =\

Anyone else have success trying @sandy method? I need some encouragement to stay strong. Hopefully it gets better after a few days. Letting her cry makes me feel like a bad mama. =(

@Coco Bee: I am no expert - just sharing what worked for us I think every baby is different and there may be a few things making it a little difficult and resulting in your LO crying - transitioning away from your bed and transitioning away from sleeping with you. I didn't have to deal with this bc LO slept in her crib at the time...so maybe that's why your LO is crying a bit more/longer.

My LO didn't cry for very long (more fussed for awhile and then would hard cry for a few minutes) and probably did it for 3 nights before she started just going to bed without crying...but I worked on naps first (no crying with the above method suggested by my friend) and once I knew she could put herself to sleep I worked on bedtime bc I also nursed before bedtime).

My only suggestions are (1) maybe try and wait longer before you go in and soothe (I know some moms wait 5, 10, and 15 minutes - see Mrs.Wagon's posts on sleep training and I think Rubies also did this extinction method) and (2) go in and sooth only for a brief moment - I would only pick her up for like 15 seconds max - for me LO stopped crying the second I picked her up so I knew she was ok so I would just calm her and do my shush/pat to indicate its time for bed and set her back down in her crib. I remember this was the hardest bc then she would start crying right away but I would walk away and this would turn into the hardest cry and I would force myself to wait my self-imposed 3 minutes and 99.9% of the time she would let out the loudest cry and then pass out and be asleep within a minute...i would have my hand on the door almost not able to wait the 3 minutes bc every mom hates to hear their baby cry but she would fall asleep before I got a chance to burst back into the room...that taught me that had I gone in there she wouldn't have fallen asleep. Some moms don't go in to soothe bc it makes the crying worse - this wasn't the case for me. It's so hard but for me I'm so glad I waited and gave her the chance to fall asleep.

I know I am just really lucky to have a sleepy child but it was hard for me to "sleep train" and this is what worked for me and I would do it over again in a heartbeat bc i really do believe it is the reason she sleeps 12-13 hours at night and why I'm able to put her to bed awake and not spend hours holding/swaying her to sleep and suffering from arm/neck/back pain.

Hang in there and good luck!!

@sandy: Just wanted to let you know that I tried this last night. Baby is 10 weeks today. I let her cry for 3 minutes last night, picked her up and rocked her for a minute, shushed her as I put her back down, and she was out for the next seven hours(!!!) which I think is the longest stretch we've gotten so far! Previously I had only been letting her cry for 1 minute. Thanks so much for sharing your experience and helping a tired mom!