Curious about this from a thread in a parenting group on another forum. What would be your reaction if LO's doctor asked at a 12-month checkup "Have you offered her a pencil scribble with?"
Everyone in the group had a pretty strong reaction, so, wondering what everyone here would think.
[Update] Thank you all for reassuring me, I'm now much more convinced I'm not crazy. 
kiwi / 598 posts
I would have been surprised as it would never have occurred to me to do so at that age...followed by feeling a bit inadequate for not knowing these things. 
nectarine / 2317 posts
That they were checking a stage of development? I'm not sure why people would have a strong reaction to it.
honeydew / 7463 posts
A pencil to scribble with? I wouldn't have a strong reaction. I'd probably say "a pencil no, a crayon yes". I'd assume that they maybe used "pencil" as a generic term for any writing utensil.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding the question or scenario but I'm not sure why anyone would get worked up about that.
squash / 13208 posts
@PawPrints: I would have no reaction - by 12 months of age I would think most kids have held a crayon (pencil)
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22276 posts
I wouldn't have much of a reaction, my kids started scribbling with crayons before 1. I think pencil is just the term they use, as I see it in the Ages and Stages questionnaire we used to do with the girls.
honeydew / 7622 posts
@SweetiePie: this is what I was thinking. Sounds pretty harmless to me.
pomegranate / 3127 posts
I'd be a little surprised, most kids at that age try to eat a crayon if you just look the other way for a second!
I guess it could be a good idea to start offering them though... my oldest had no idea what to do with them at that age, but his little sister is one and has already caught on that pencils are for drawing. She still can't resist trying to eat them though.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@SweetiePie: Yeah, I pretty much would have responded exactly like you. "A pencil, no, but a crayon, yes."
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
I wouldn't have a strong reaction either way. I think by that age both of my kids had held a crayon or pencil (the first because he was in daycare and the second because he wanted to do everything his older brother did).
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Could he have handled it in a fist? Yes, but that becomes a habit that needs to be corrected, so I was carefuly not to introduce writing utensils. We did finger painting at that age mostly.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
I would say no and think nothing of it. DD would eat a pencil and I don't see that changing in the next month.
grapefruit / 4800 posts
I don't think I would have much of a reaction. My oldest somehow just knew how to grip pencils - we didn't teach her - and loved to scribble at that age. My second would just shove it in her mouth. So those would be my answers.
pomelo / 5791 posts
I wouldn't have a strong reaction, but I'm definitely not handing my 13m old a pencil or a crayon. He wouldn't even bother attempting to write with it and would 100% eat it. But, every kid is different.
blogger / grapefruit / 4836 posts
@ValentineMommy: My son was exactly the same way...but man my daughter loves to "draw". It totally caught me off guard that she was wanting to actually scribble before she was 1! He still doesn't at 3.5 haha
I would have had the same "pencil, no but crayon yes" response. I don't think they meant pencil literally there.
But I also wouldn't care about my 12 month old holding a literal pencil either. If it turned into an unsafe situation I would just take it away. No harm, no foul.
persimmon / 1101 posts
No reaction other than to answer the question, which would be "pencil, no, crayon, yes". Seems like a pretty standard developmental question?
pear / 1558 posts
DH & I have offered our DD a pencil, pen & crayon before & after 1, but she's not all that interested. Same as others, I think perhaps use of "pencil" was intended more generically, maybe?
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
Not much reaction? I prob have already offered crayons at that point, not that I think she was that interested then.
honeydew / 7444 posts
No reaction - i would think it's a normal question to ask at 12 months? DS has access to his older sister's pencil crayons, so i don't think it's that big of a deal.
I'm really curious to know why the strong reaction on the other forum!
persimmon / 1483 posts
Unless LO2's behavior changes in the next 6 weeks, my response will be, no yet - she eats everything. I know for sure we were asked this at LO1's 18 month check, but I can't remember if we were asked before that.
grapefruit / 4321 posts
My 9 month old eats his sisters crayons every time he gets a hold of one. So that's what I would say, he's held one but doesn't know what to do with it yet.
I really want to know what the strong reactions were.
pomegranate / 3658 posts
Glad to know I'm probably not completely crazy. Everyone thought it was a "ridiculous" question, and that doctor's questions come with a clear implication that baby should be doing those things by that point - in this case, implying that baby should be learning to hold a pencil correctly. And the doctor should have known that parents would be upset by the question, given all the context of pressure on early literacy and early milestones and academic achievement etc.
Personally i don't interpret doctor's questions to have an implied judgment unless they are followed by a statement like "she should be doing that by now."
(I suggested in the other group that it's easy for us as parents to layer our own anxieties onto what we hear a doctor saying, when really they're just doing their jobs - I was accused of pathologizing mothers. Oh dear.)
eggplant / 11716 posts
@PawPrints: yeah, what?? how is that a ridiculous thing for a doctor to ask? Their job is to look for milestones and obviously the doctor is trying to find out if baby attempts to pick up and grasp things, tries to scribble, etc--not like, asking if the baby is getting direct writing instruction.
How silly.
persimmon / 1367 posts
Wow, that's quite a reaction from your group, based on a lot of assumptions, I imagine! I did get that question from my Ped around that time, it is part of a checklist that we do every time we go in to check age appropriate motor function. I answered it the same as basically everyone above "Crayon yes, pencil no." and had no concerns about being asked the question.
watermelon / 14467 posts
The reaction of that group seems a little silly. I honestly can't remember if H was scribbling with a crayon at that age. Probably. But it wouldn't phase me.
honeydew / 7444 posts
@PawPrints: Definitely a response where the parents seem to be projecting their insecurities. Yikes.
pomelo / 5509 posts
I'd probably assume the doctor used pencil as a universal term for any type of writing or coloring utensil and was casually asking about motor skill development, but definitely not about whether the kid is learning proper writing grip. That's a huge leap to make! Sounds like a big overreaction.
pomelo / 5220 posts
Whoa sounds like some strong reactions from parents... for no reason. I would have said, no, I don't give him pencils but he likes to scribble with crayons. I wouldn't have interpreted or read into it or over analyzed it to death!
grapefruit / 4584 posts
Not sure I get why people were so offended by this. If my doctor asks me if my child can do something, and the answer is "no, but we've been trying" or "I hadn't thought of that; we'll have to give it a try"....then so what?! Isn't that why we take our kids to the doctor, to have a checkpoint?
As far as the specific question, I don't think offering a one year old a writing utensil is out of the question...I'd think that most are probably exposed to some extent indirectly (sitting on our laps while we fill our a form or sign a bill at a restaurant and they grab at the pen, as an example).
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
I would assume the dr said pencil but meant crayon.
LOs have held a crayon but it goes directly into their mouth.
LOs did recently stop going to PT and they did an assessment of all of their skills before they decided. They determined that they were on track. One of which was them holding a crayon and see if they made any (inadvertent) marks on paper. DD did and DS did not. They said both were within normal. DD did well on some tests and DS with others.
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
I think it's an okay question. I would probably have said, "no, but he found one and scribbled all over his sister's bedroom wall with it"
grapefruit / 4418 posts
Huh? I would have probably said hmm not sure if she's used a pencil or not, but has used crayons and pens. I don't get why the question is problematic. I still don't know if she's used a pencil at 2.5...we don't really have them around the house nor do I care. She will learn how to use it eventually.
pineapple / 12053 posts
i would have said, purposefully, no! she has put a colored pencil in her mouth though. 
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
I think some of the ways doctors ask questions are kind of weird and I guess I could see being bothered if it ends up somehow "flagging" your LO. At one appointment LO "failed" her fine motor assessment because I said she hadn't yet threaded macaroni noodles on a string. That's because she'd never been offered it - not because she couldn't! It's such a strange and specific question, and I was annoyed that the outcome was that she "failed," so from then on I just answer what I think the question is trying to get at.
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