A good friend is getting married. She wants to start TTC the month of her wedding (she's of advanced maternal age). If she was your friend and you were close enough to talk about TTC, what would you tell her to start doing now, 5 months before TTC?
She stopped BC months ago.
persimmon / 1188 posts
I have mild PCOS, so in my case I think dieting helped me. I didn't follow a specific plan but was conscious about eating and limited alcohol. I would also tell her to try not to think about it too much because it's all consuming once it happens. I also kind of think it's annoyingly true that it happens when you're not trying so hard.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22276 posts
Charting and taking prenatals. Even if it's simple charting, without temping, to get an idea of her cycles.
apricot / 469 posts
I would tell her to enjoy her wedding, it only comes once and she should enjoy this time with her husband to be. Besides that, no harm in taking a prenatal and, let nature take its course.
persimmon / 1339 posts
Keep as fit and healthy as possible, but generally don't change too much about her lifestyle. I know that it's totally wrong and insulting to tell people "relax and it will happen!" and that's not what I'm trying to say, but I think the more stress and anxiety is minimised, the more she will be able to enjoy the process.
pomelo / 5129 posts
I started charting about 6 months before our wedding and it helped identify some problems BCPs had been hiding (pcos and low P). If she's eager, I'd suggest reading Taking charge if your fertility now and temping if she's willing
pineapple / 12053 posts
yeah, TCOYF and simple charting. i like @Aimed: 's advice of enjoying her wedding too though!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
@MaryM: @birdofafeather: sounds like the book may be the perfect gift for her!
pear / 1558 posts
All good advice given already, but as another AMA mama, I wish I'd have started charting earlier, myself. I knew that my chances of getting pregnant were decreased, but I think it would have been nice to have had more info in general (so tcoyf) & on my own cycle. Invite her to HB, too! I've learned so much here! 
pineapple / 12053 posts
@mediagirl: I just lent my copy to a friend who is TTC and having a hard time.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
I had a friend who I knew was going to start TTC soon, so I lent her my copy of TCOYF and just said something like "I hope you're one of the lucky ones that gets pregnant right away, but it's normal for it to take a while."
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I'd tell her to read this article:
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/
Would have saved me a lot of anxiety.
clementine / 849 posts
@adira i love that advice. When we started, DH kind of assumed it would happen immediately. We had no idea what we were doing and had awful timing the first month, but still wondered why after 2 months it hadn't happened yet (ha!) So I love that way of gently letting them know that sometimes it's a bit of a journey, and that is totally normal.
Also agree with the prenatal vitamin advice. It's important to build up nutrient reserves before conception, and you'll have beautiful hair and nails on the wedding day
Lastly, I got in the things I knew I couldn't really do preggo, like run a marathon! DH also completed a full Ironman (don't think I wasn't worried about his swimmers with all that bike time, but it was important for us to achieve some personal BHAGS before kids came)
Quick q for the group -- when did you read TCOYF? We're already in month 7, so I'm thinking if it doesn't take this cycle I'm hitting up amazon... just afraid it's going to tell me the stuff I already know.
pomelo / 5129 posts
@YogiRunner: I had heard of TCOYF, but hadn't actually read it until after my MC. I already knew how to chart and had taken an NFP class, but there were tidbits in it that I wasn't aware of (like how much your temperature fluctuates each hour you're asleep, it was helpful on figuring out CM texture, and I still refer to the index occasionally)
persimmon / 1316 posts
Start prenatals, start tracking her cycles (I used pink pad app) and when she is ready to really TTC, just start with OPK's, I wouldn't stress about much else until some times has passed.
pear / 1799 posts
@mediagirl: I think I would just point her in the direction of HB ... *If* she's wanting advice.
@YogiRunner: I did not read the book. I found mostly everything I needed to online.
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