Hellobee Boards

The hormones. They are all over the place. You just don't feel like yourself...and for me, that's the worst part. I can do anything if i feel like ME. But it feels like someone foreign has taken over my body for a bit and I really hate that part.

i had read and researched all about sleep and breastfeeding. so when things (surprise!) didn't work out the way the books said they would (liars), i was really hard on myself and stressed myself out to no end trying to figure out how to "fix" everything. i wish i could have let go of all the control issues i was having with this sleep and eating (mostly his sleep, i don't really regret being crazy ass about his eating).

@blackbird: for real. everything is so much worse with the hormones.

I would say don't overdo it. I felt great (probably crazy hormones) when I got released from the hospital and way overdid it the first 2 days home and then it took me days to recover from that. I think if I would have taken it a little easier than I would have not crashed as hard as I did.

Also have all of those products that everyone suggests just in case you need them...nipple cream, hemorrhoid pads, numbing spray, iron supplements, stool softener, etc. If you don't need them great. But man is it nice to have them ready to go if you do end up needing them.

For me it was a combination of painful breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, and hormones. The physical recovery wasn't quite as bad as I expected (just get lots of those ice packs from the hospital and Depends). In the end there wasn't anything that was "surprising." I knew I wouldn't get much sleep and knew about the baby blues, but I couldn't really have anticipated what it was going to feel like it those moments. The important thing is to have as much support as possible, keep perspective that the hard parts are temporary, and go easy on yourself as you recover.

No one tells you about the cramps. When your uterus is shrinking, it can be painful and there were times that I overdid it a bit. I would be laid up on the couch in immense pain from the cramps for up to an hour after whatever it was that I did.

Having to take care of a new baby while you are recovering yourself. Once I was (mostly) pain free and my hormones back in control, it all got soooo much easier!!!!

This was probably due to hormones + lack of sleep, but the first few weeks were such a mental challenge - everything seemed like such a huge deal and was so overwhelming. "OMG, I'm going to be changing poopy diapers for the rest of my life...". "I'm never going to get to sleep again and I'm going to pass out because I can only sleep in 90 minute increments..." "I'm never going to see my friends again because I can't leave the house because it's a never ending cycle of feeding/changing/sleeping/crying (me & baby!)" etc etc
I also had really bad PP Anxiety, which I had never even heard about (depression, yes, anxiety was new to me!)

That you really shouldn't plan to do anything but stay in bed and breastfeed if that's what you want to do. I tried to keep up the house (husband gone/no help) and crashed and burned after a week. Get help and accept help, even if you don't feel like you need it those first few days.

And as others said, OMG, the night sweats!

Well, for me it was kind of the opposite. I think because I'd read so much on HB, I really thought it was going to be worse than it was. So then I was pleasantly surprised that none of it was as bad as I thought! I never needed the ice packs or the Tucks pads I bought. Going to the bathroom wasn't such a big deal (like a 1-2 on a scale of 1-10 and I was expecting a 10).

Our parents came and stayed with us, so I had a lot of help and that made it much easier.

I think the only thing I wasn't prepared for (and I guess...you can't be prepared for this) was the enormous emotional weight that comes with having a baby that depends 100% on you to keep them alive. Before parenthood, you read all these cheezy sayings like "motherhood is like wearing your heart outside of your body, every day of your life". And it's impossible to really understand them, even if you think you do. But then you have the baby and BOOM--your dang heart is outside your body, and you spend every single waking moment with at least 10% of your brain slightly attuned to your child--when you are at work, when you are out at "date night", when you are supposed to be doing something else....you are wondering, "What is she doing now, at home, without me?" and you can't just turn it off...it's with you, forever.

I definitely didn't expect that.

Hormones and breastfeeding issues. I mean, the lack of sleep was probably hard too, but the hormones made it so much worse. I would get such anxiety over the smallest things! And I would just start crying at random and I wouldn't even know why. And the thought of my husband returning to work and leaving me alone with the baby would immediately set me off into tears and I would feel anxious and terrified. And on top of all of that, we were struggling to nurse and I found it painful and unpleasant and every time he would latch, it was this shooting pain and I'd end up swearing at him for hurting me. The whole first few weeks were just AWFUL.

ETA: I feel like I should also add that it took me a while to bond with Xander. So looking down at him didn't magically make things worth it or better for me. If anything, I felt regret and like I had ruined our lives by wanting to start a family. Feeling only a sense of obligation to this new life was probably one of the worst parts. I didn't feel the love for weeks.

For me, it was that I felt AMAZING emotionally, but my vagina hurt so badly. And then, breastfeeding was hard (bad latch), and my nipples were beyond sore. Thankfully, the sweet baby in your arms makes it all worth it.

The hardest part physically was lack of sleep. I could never seem to sleep when LO slept so it was tough.

The hardest part emotionally was that I turned into a mama bear and I really didn't expect it. It killed me to see anyone touching LO except me or DH, except possibly my dad. It was sooo hard to let anyone else hold her, especially SIL for some reason (who I normally love). That meant I turned down help alot, because I didn't want anyone to come over the house.

Getting up and around! You have to go to the pediatrician's office in the first few days at home and that was brutal! Just plan on living in your bed for a week or two, and prepare in terms of food, sleep, and showering. If you don't have help for cooking and cleaning, hire people and order takeout!

The night sweats were also a huge surprise! I woke up every morning totally soaked through. I started putting towels under my sheets!

Probably painful breastfeeding and the fear of having to poop. Colace helped a lot with the latter, and the anticipation ended up being worse than the actual act. But I was scared to death.

Sleep deprivation and holding on to all that weight. It was really hard for me to deal with being so big for several months afterwards but luckily I got through it and got my weight to a happier place.

Emotionally I did not expect to feel so trapped and out of my depth. I had done a million hours of research and reading beforehand, but I was still completely unprepared. It was the first time in my life that I've ever felt so incapable. DS would not stop crying and I sent myself loopy trying to fix it. I did think to myself 'what have I done to my life' - and so I think my advice would be that it's ok to feel like that when you're pp - it doesn't make you a bad person and it doesn't mean you don't love your baby.

For me it was the infections that came with the mastitis and, it transpired, a small lump of retained placenta. Fever, chills, aches and pains, compounded by lack of sleep, crazy hormones and anxiety -I've never felt so ill in all my life.