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I’m an atheist and don’t consider gingerbread men or candy canes “iffy” at all! I think those are pretty secular decorations, as are Christmas trees and most everything else that isn’t straight up clearly religious.

I'm an atheist as well and see nothing iffy about candy canes or gingerbread men. I think as long as it's not a nativity scene, baby Jesus, the wise men, etc. that you are fine.

@PinkElephant: I have a friend who is a public grade school teacher and also has a 5yo and for her daughters holiday art project (she volunteered in the class that day) she did Santa masks. I also wondered if that was ok (and I’m a devout Christian) but she said it was fine. So, maybe as long as it’s not clearly religious?

I think candy and cookies are pretty non-denominational.

I agree with everyone else. Candy and cookies are just about winter. Nothing Christmasy about them. I would avoid Santa, elves, trees, and anything that's particular only to Christmas. Stick with general winter themes (sleighs, mittens, snow, lights, etc.)

I would ask myself the question: if I were a 5-year-old Jewish or Muslim child, what would make me feel included vs. what would make me feel left out? I think atheists get to jump on the bandwagon with a lot of the secular aspects of Christmas celebrations, whereas Muslim and Jewish kids are more likely to feel sad and excluded by some parts of it. So that's what would motivate me.

I like @PawPrints: take on the situation. I think most atheists still participate in the secular part of Christmas, so I think most of your thoughts of inclusiveness should focus on children of other religions. I would stay away from Christmas trees and Santa. I think there's plenty you can do with strictly a winter/snow theme. Paper snowflakes and snowmen crafts, mitten cookies, decorate gingerbread cookies in snow gear, pin the carrot nose on the snowman, make paper cones and play a ring the icicle game, etc... There's so much to do where you don't even need to come close to iffy territory.

I celebrate a secular Christmas and associate candy canes and gingerbread houses with Christmas and not winter. Eventhough those things have nothing to do with Jesus the fact of the matter is Christmas, secular or not, is because of Him.

I would stick with snowflakes, hot cocoa, and sledding. Even Polar bears cross the line in my book because of how Coca Cola uses them in Christmas ads and the Polar Bear Express.

I would probably stick to winter and also try to work in some Blue and Silver, or some other random colors.

Last year, I had holiday cards printed with both "Merry Chrismas" and "Happy Holidays", and sent merry christmas to family and happy holidays to friends, since my friend group is so diverse and people celebrate or don't celebrate all kinds of things.

@pawprints: had a wonderful comment about feeling included vs. left out!

@SteelerGirl: I agree. As a practicing Jew (albeit VERY reform) candy canes and gingerbread houses bother me a bit. To me, they are associated with "secular Christmas" if that makes sense. They're not a winter thing. One way I think of this is "do Muslim or Jewish people decorate their house with these items?" and for both of these, the answer in my experience is no - hence my definition of 'secular Christmas'. As a kid, we would do these crafts, and I would bring them home and throw them out because even I could tell that they just didn't fit in our home.

@mamaof2: I think it was so sweet to invite your Jewish friend to decorate gingerbread houses! I would love being invited to an activity like that. Heck, I'd love to be invited to someone's house to bake Christmas cookies! I love experiencing other families traditions and religions. The very important difference for me is an activity taking place in school.

It has been touched on above, but Santa, elves, etc... are strongly Christmas, even if they're not religious. Please avoid these!! @sweetiepie: i'm shocked your teacher friend said Santa masks were ok.

@Mamaof2: I guess it's hard to explain. To me they are just too associated with Christmas. But I think I'm a little overly sensitive because I converted to Judaism. I have to overcompensate

@MrsLonghorn: You bring up a good point. There's a difference between something being introduced in school, and a friend inviting you to their home. At school, your child doesn't have a choice of whether to be included. If a friend invites you, it's your choice whether to participate and you can do so in a way that still acknowledges that it's not *your* holiday. One good Jewish friend of mine described it well like going to a friend's birthday party. It's not your birthday, but you still go to celebrate with them. It's not our holiday but we can still celebrate with our friends. But it should be a choice.

I’m totally fine with teaching diversity of religion and culture through holidays. If my child came home with atheist, Muslim or Jewish greetings or themed goodie bags I would just use it as an educational tool.

We have a different way of celebrating Halloween (No scary or evil spirit stuff) than the school which has a Halloween parade that includes that stuff. DD still participates and does her thing. I teach her about why some people choose to go to alternate activities instead of joining the parade. Totally not up for putting DDin a bubble so she doesn’t know about other ways people celebrate (or don’t celebrate) holidays, including Christian ones. So I’m totally fine with Christian themed “winter-not Christmas” goodies.
I would also be fine with a child who sang a song in a talent show that was Jewish, Christian or Muslim etc. I want DD to know how we are diverse and have conversations about accepting others who are different. It is a big thing to ask to hide someone’s Christianity at Christmas. We don’t need to whitewash everyone the same color for the sake of inclusion. We just need to see each other clearly and learn to embrace differences. I think I went on a big tangent here.

@808love: @Truth Bombs: Maybe I'm overly sensitive as a Jew who went to public school. When I was in elementary school we definitely had to sing Silent Night for the school holiday assembly and it made me deeply uncomfortable. There was also a Hanukah song about candles or something but it didn't negate the fact that I felt pressured to sing something I didn't believe.

It would be different if kids of different faiths were singing their own songs and/or teaching the rest of the class about what they believe (like my mom used to come and do a little lesson about Hanukah at school) vs. making it seem like the school is endorsing it. And then if there aren't any non-Christian people to carry that torch, it also seems weird if Christians then had to come up with something to represent other holidays that no one at the school actually celebrates.

I don't think it's "hiding someone’s Christianity at Christmas" to have a non-religious party at a secular school. I would guess that in most communities in the U.S., there are many many avenues to express Christianity, including kids deciding on their own to share their faith with their friends, without the school itself directing kids to sing about how "Christ the Savior is born" (in my case) or even just Santa. It's all in how its positioned.

@808love: I agree that you should be able to give out goodies in line with your faith, but with limitations. We gave Hanukah dreidels out last year to my son's class and did a little demo to go with it, in the spirit of just sharing and educating. Christianity is a little bit different in that (in my own personal experience) there can be proselytizing involved. If you're just giving out Easter eggs or something that's fine, but I used to get "goodies" with John 3:16 attached and that was too far, IMHO (esp in elementary school when it's really coming from the parents and not the kids).

Sorry I've veered way off from the original question!

@hummusgirl: So my kids are still little (1 & 4) so I wasn’t really thinking about active presentations/songs/etc. I was thinking more along the lines of craft projects, story time books, etc. I imagine no one would be offended if everyone colored a picture of Santa while learning about what Christians celebrate, and then everyone colored a picture of a dreidel, etc while learning about what Jews celebrate, etc, etc. I agree with you that having a non Christian child sing a religious Christmas Song is uncomfortable at best. Especially when there are other options like Frosty The Snow Man

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I think you need to be careful here, are you using your experience in elementary school 20 years ago, or are you using a current experience that you've had in the last 5 years?

I think great strides have been made (at least in the blue state where I live) to change the traditional Christmas pageant into a celebration of holidays that are celebrated in the winter.

My son's school celebrated Diwali last month. The day before the December break, there will be a seasonal celebration where all the kids rotate classrooms and each one hosts a holiday. Granted, he attends a school with an international focus, so they're extremely sensitive to the fact that we've got a diverse population in the school.

@wrkbrk: I agree, and I did some research about candy canes and gingerbread and now have revised my opinion about their appropriateness in the classroom.

@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: My actual view is that we shouldn't even bother with these kinds of celebrations in school...I recently went to my son's class for the Halloween festivities and it was a hot mess. Kids were crying because their parents weren't there, others were freaking out because of the snack that was served, some were not able to complete the craft and had meltdowns, the rushing in that half hour we had was causing all kinds of issues.

But then I am called a scrooge if we do nothing, and some parents want the opportunity for kids to be kids. I don't really know what the happy medium is!!!!!

I am also somewhat Scrooge-like in that the school celebrations are so time consuming (cutting into instruction) and possibly drama inducing. But the younger kids love it, no? So we continue for their sake. End of quarter celebrations, biography brunch or some other related curriculum tie-in might be more appropriate community building for older kids, going forward.

@808love: I don't think the kids really care one way or the other, I think we do a lot of these things for the parents!

@merriment: I think the younger kids actually have a really hard time with the special parties. They're done in a way to maximize instructional time, so I really felt we were rushing around and it wasn't fun at all. It was just meltdown city in first grade this year, and I talked to a few parents that felt the same.