We just found out we are expecting baby #2 in August 2018. My LO is almost 17 months old. She will have just turned two when the baby arrives. She currently takes her pacifier at naptime and bedtime. It is extremely rare if she gets it any other time. Our dentist and pediatrician says there is no rush to get rid of it since we are limiting it to her crib only. However, I was thinking it might be better to try to wean her off of it long before baby number two gets here and she start to regress or question as to why she can’t have hers but the baby can. I would love some feedback or suggestions on how to best handle this. Even if you tell me there’s no rush at this point. My main concern with her still having it is that if she wakes up from early at nap time or early in the morning, the only way she will go back to sleep is if we give her the pacifier. She is still taking two naps a day but we hope to be transitioning to one nap after the first of the year. Thanks!
PS- she also has a lovey that she only gets when she is sleeping. In my honest opinion, I don’t care if she carries that to college LOL
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We didn't have a baby on the way at the time, but we quit cold turkey when he turned 2. It was a rough 2 days, but once it was out of sight, it was out of mind, and he transitioned well after those few days.
Telling her a bit of a story in that she's a big girl and her pacifiers don't work anymore and have to go to babies who need them might help. At 17 months, that might be hard for her to understand, but waiting until after the baby gets here might be more difficult since she'll continue to see them all the time.
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We quit cold turkey with my son at 1y with no issues. He never looked back and didn't skip a beat in sleep. We just quit cold turkey with my daughter at 21m. She asked about it for the first few naps/bedtimes, and we just told her we didn't know where it was. She went down fine, just like normal. She has had a few more wake-ups at night, but I think she's getting her 2-year molars, so I think it's more about that then about not having the paci.
Good luck! I hope it goes smoothly for you!
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So I will say that my DD was the same - only had it for bed and naps. Then when my DS was born, she had to have it with her at all times, like huge regression. In hindsight, I wish I would’ve gotten her off of it before he was born. Now I’m having trouble just getting her to keep it in her room!
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We weaned just after 2 yo after talking it up for a week beforehand. We cut the paci off his wubba nub and that was that. He took longer to fall asleep and didn't nap well that weekend but after a week at daycare (where they had already stopped giving it to him) he was fine and has had no regressions.
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We gave it up at 3 and I pretty much stressed about it from the time he turned 2.
Same thing, only for naps and bedtime. And if he was going to sleep in the car which is like once a month.
Dentist assured me it wasn’t a big deal since he only used it in the crib.
I decided on my own to do it just after he turned 3. Honestly I had been working it up so long in my mind and it was almost a nonevent. Maybe 2-3 nights of tears but they decreased each night. Like not even hours or anything just minutes.
Oh and we did talk it up for a while. We got a couple books and talked about how big boys who turn 3 don’t need a binky. Binkies are for babies. Etc. I do think that being 3 helped in that respect because he understands way more now than he did at 2.
I WILL say that we had the issue you are worried about that hadn’t even occurred to me. He started waking an hour earlier for the day. I think he naturally woke at 6/6:30 but found his paci and would fall back asleep OR just lay there quietly till we got him. After paci was gone he woke at 6/6:30 for about a month. Not horrible but definitely not as nice as 7/7:30. Haha.
Now he’s about 2-3 months out from when we got rid of it and he’s pretty much back to a 7am wakeup, sometimes 7:30. And he’s 3 so of course there’s still a random early wake up here and there. But overall it’s fine. It was pretty easy. And I’m undecided if for the next one (due in March) we will try to get rid of it a lot earlier or just go with the flow a bit more. I guess I’ll just feel out this kid’s personality and make a decision. -
I’ll just chime in and say DS was 18months when baby was born. He is only allowed to have his pacis in the crib and he understood that. He never regressed or anything.
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I always wonder why it's such a big deal to get kids to quit the paci??
Even in my group of mommy friends they all did it. One made a build a bear and put all the paci's in it.. another made her dd give all her paci's to her new baby cousin... why?? My DD had a paci. When she was about 2-3 she only used it for naps, bedtime and car rides. We never took her paci, we never told her she had to give it up or anything... when she was 3 yrs and 1 month she just stopped using it. She actually chewed it for a few nights. Which I was wondering why she did that but I didn't say anything. And one night as she fell asleep her paci was in her hand. She held it for about 2 nights and then she was done with it.
I really feel like kids will outgrow it on their own. I just don't see why it's soooooo "important" to break them of it or take it from them cold turkey....
but I am aware I am an outlier on this...
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@ajsmommy our pediatrician always says "I don't care if your kid has a pacifier until he's 8 years old!" LOL. Ok, maybe overkill, but she thinks it's totally not a big deal. I do worry a little about teeth/palate.
My son is 2y3m and LOVES his paci (he calls it his "baby"). We try to limit it to night time/naps but he will often find a stray one in the car or around the house or something and I don't fight him on it. If it was up to him, he would have it 24/7.
We have a new baby coming in May so I don't know what I want to do. I am not too worried about big brother's paci since it's generally limited. I may try to take it away closer to 3 like @sweetiepie said. I feel like I'm so tired and stressed and honestly I just can't deal with the crying and potential sleep interruption right now.
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@Ajsmommy: this is my thinking too right now. Although I do separate bedtime paci use and having a paci in your mouth all the time. I knew someone who’s kid was almost 3 and ALWAYS had her paci in her mouth. Because of that she never talked and when she did, she mumbled around the paci and no one could understand her. . I see the problem with that. But if it doesn’t affect their development, I’m taking a more relaxed approach. But I MAY also just be lazy and don’t want to mess up a good sleeper right now. I already don’t get much sleep with a crazy 7mo old who does who never sleeps so I can’t deal right now with a 25mo old cranky about not having his paci in his crib.
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@MrsADS: I honestly don't get the "worry" over it.. I mean have you ever been in a meeting or at an appt and seen a grown person using a pacifier?? At some point they are going to grow out of it. Maybe not as fast as you'd like or on your time line but they will...what's so wrong with letting them do it on their time line???? just my opinion of course and I know I'm not the norm on this.....
eta: this is agreeing with your post.. I re-read it and it kind of sounds like I'm disagreeing.. but I'm not.. LOL
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@justjules: agree 100%... if it's affecting their speech then it should be limited but I still don't 'think it needs to be taken away cold turkey.
I'm with you sister! lazy and sleep trump all things in my house. LOL
But honestly though, like I said I've seen my friends and all others do it their way and it works, it does... but I did it my way and it was just fine too. I feel like we push our kids to do things according to our time line or what we or society feels is the right time.. but they are humans, they have brains and know whats right for them in some instances....
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@ajsmommy @justjules totally agree, I am lazy/exhausted and the thought of dealing w/messed up sleep again... OMG I just can't. That being said, some of the transitions that I thought would be terrible ended up not being as bad as I thought. I just weaned my 2yo about 5 weeks ago and it was bad for a few days, but then he was like - totally fine. It definitely wasn't his choice, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. So maybe the paci would be similar. Who knows! I feel like he's still pretty little, and if he wants to have a paci to sleep - whatever.
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