What is your top fear? If you have any...
I'll admit it, I'm afraid they'll steal/abduct my kids. I do background checks and references but that's the irrational fear I have.
I watch a lot of news. That's what sticks in my head.
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We started using a reputable nanny agency that does nationwide criminal background checks and provides REAL and LOCAL references of other parents who have employed the person previously, so our fears are definitely minimized because of this. But I still had one nanny strap my 2 yo into the backseat of her (no car seat) without my permission to move it from the street to my driveway (I complained and she no longer watches kids now). I think you are always taking a risk even with the "best" help. Some people seem great but just lack common sense and basic child raising skills. My expectations are much lower with friends and family but you still worry that something might happen on their watch.
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Child abuse or accidents. I work at a children's hospital and I know those cases are few and far between but I never forget.
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With our regular nanny my initial fear was something SIDS-related (sleep safety) because he was only 6 weeks. I liked the fact that DH was home the whole time so I knew she couldn't do anything totally crazy without him noticing. Now she's been with us for over 10 months and I trust her completely.
I've used another in-home daycare lady who had good references for safety, but after a couple times I found her style is not the same as mine. I got the feeling she just left my then 6-month old in a exersaucer all day.
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I've been thinking about this a lot the past couple days because we're going to an out of town wedding and will have to hire a sitter to watch DD while we're there. I usually don't stress about parenting related things so I'm kind of surprised I have so much anxiety over this. I'm worried that she'll get taken.
I keep imagining some kind of elaborate scheme that ends in human trafficking. I'm hoping some of future SIL's friends who are local to the area can recommend a sitter they have used personally. That will make me feel better.
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I haven't used an in-home babysitter that's non-family, but my fear is stealing (my stuff, not my kid
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I forgot, that my son will be inconsolable the whole time.
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Oh god, all sorts of crazy, irrational things. She's 2.5 and I still prefer to leave her with family over babysitters even though we've used the same one a handful of times and LO really likes her.
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If it's just a random thing, I'd just worry that DD won't feel comfortable with a stranger
Definitely things like stealing, and accidents. I guess abuse is also in the back of my mind but a little less if it's just occasional babysitting. And this is why we chose daycare over nanny... Just too many variables to give me anxiety!
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At daycare I worry about chocking. She's 14 mo and still only eats pouches there- but she's only there for 4 hours at a time. At home so far we have only left her with family.
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I worry about abuse, neglect, and carelessness.
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I'm most worried DD will be really upset we're gone. And honestly, the worry is 50% for her and 50% for the poor babysitter dealing with her.
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I worry about him being a nightmare for the sitter! I don't worry about him getting hurt or abused or anything... Our sitters are both young, sweet, CPR trained, background checked girls. One is a nurse and the other is a reference from a friend of my husband.
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We haven't left her with a non family member yet, but I would worry about a freak accident happening. I'm a nanny myself, and know that things can happen. My little brother ran into the corner of a wall and split his forehead open while we had a babysitter as a kid. He had to go to the er and needed stitches. Poor girl felt so bad, but it wasn't anything she did.
My husband was carrying our then 4 month old on a walk, slipped on a patch of ice and they both fell. Baby girl broke her leg. Accidents happen. That's my fear.
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@psw27: This!
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I haven't yet left DD with anyone but family because I worry about all kinds of things! Primarily just that DD will be unhappy with a stranger, but certainly about her safety. She has had plenty of head bumps & bruises, various (brief) choking on her saliva/spit up episodes and scream-crying-freak-outs & that's all while with me doting on her. Who knows how careful someone else would be with my little girl. Someday I'll ease up, I'm sure...
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When my first was teeny tiny, I genuinely worried that our live in nanny (who had only been with us a week or two) was going to have disappeared with our baby when I got back from my doctor's appointment. Now I laugh about this fear, but at the time it was heavily on my mind.
Honestly, I don't worry too much anymore - I vet my sitters very thoroughly via interviews, background checks, and personal references/repeat clients. I think now as a parent of preschoolers, I worry most about whether a sitter has the presence of mind to handle a serious accident appropriately. But accidents happen (and have happened to me/DH), so I feel like it's useless to spend a lot of energy stressing about this "what if" - I just make sure my sitter is prepared with emergency numbers and is warned about any current hazards (ie., the fact that my two year old puts little things in her mouth and could choke). I vaguely worry about younger sitters having over a friend or boyfriend who might be trouble (have a gun? bring drugs?), but again, I hope my vetting process greatly reduces this possibility!
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I worry about abuse, and that they just aren't treating my kid right. We're using an in-home nanny for the first time today as back up care, since she had a fever yesterday afternoon. The nanny is from a reputable agency, and my DH is working from home ... just in case.
I keep imagining some kind of elaborate scheme that ends in human trafficking. I'm hoping some of future SIL's friends who are local to the area can recommend a sitter they have used personally. That will make me feel better.
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