Hellobee Boards

I think it's a two way street.

When it comes to family and close friends, I think it's fine to say "Can I come visit?" But both people should do the asking and both should do the inviting.

Sometimes I ask my mom to come. Sometimes Mom tells me when she wants to come and I let her know when good times are. The same goes for me visiting her.

My siblings on the other hand...rarely visit me. They count on me coming to see them because they live near my mom and I travel to see her anyway. And because I don't have kids so it's easier for me.

Other than when his son was in a hospital nearby and he slept at mine or DH's place a few times, my brother hasn't visited me since the day I graduated from college (14 years ago)

With my parents, I will invite them often and they also invite themselves (and vice versa with their house). My mom is my best friend and we are super comfortable invading each other's space lol. My sister is the same way; I see my brother less but he isn't really a baby person so we typically do more grownup activities and I therefore have less time to spend with him.

With my ILs, we are constantly inviting them to come up and they rarely say yes. We have issued an open invitation for them to come even when DH is working or busy so they can see DD and they still don't come. They expect us to always come to their house, but don't invite us over. I just started informing them of our plans and they can choose to attend events at our house or not at their convenience.

My parents invite themselves all the time. Doesn't bother me. They ask if it's ok though, they don't just assume it's ok or anything. Or they'll ask if we can visit and tell us if it's easier for they'll come here instead.

My parents tend to invite themselves over but understand if we're not available.

@Mamaof2: my mom is like this and drives me bonkers!!!
She complains that we live "too far" away and I'm always like when I'll buy you a plane ticket to come visit. Then she doesn't want me to spend the $$. You can't win.

It goes both ways...no formal invitations though. We live far from both sets of grandparents, but it's kind of understood they want to see the kids as much as they can...so usually each aide visits us twice a year and we go visit them twice a year.

We just figure out good dates for the visits all together. There are no formalities like "we invite you for the third weekend of August", it's more like...let me know what dates you'll be coming in august and we'll arrange our schedules.