I sent out invites on FB to a birthday/housewarming party that I'm hosting at my house. I sent the invitation out 2 days ago, and Facebook shows when someone has seen the invitation. Everyone has seen it, but only 18 people out of 40 have RSVP'd. I realize it's only been two days, but I've been through this before, and usually people who don't RSVP right away either wait until right before the party or they never respond. Does this frustrate anyone else? Why do people wait so long to say something? Is there a way to gently encourage RSVPs, since I'm trying to plan how much food/drinks we need to serve?
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No explanations, just sympathy. I've actually been guilty of that in the past - I look and think "I'll deal with that later". But after throwing a birthday party for B and having people not RSVP until the last minute (or in some cases after, I had to write 5 reminder notes) I've been RSVPing right away. I hope your friends get it together soon.
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Seriously! I am waiting on like 8 for LO's party next weekend.
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You can send a reminder in evite to people who have not responded not sure if FB has something similar
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For some reason, I do this! And I can't explain why. I guess it's like, I look at the invitation and then have to think/talk to my husband/check our plans or whatever before making a response and then I'll reply (or I admit I might forget about it... I usually don't though! I try really hard to always rsvp, it just might take me a few days, or even a few weeks, if the event is a long ways away when I'm first invited) So 2 days isn't very long for people to be checking their plans/deciding what to do etc.
I second sending a reminder in a few days though to keep it in their mind. I do understand how frustrating it is and I try really hard to always rsvp because even saying 'no' is helpful. But when I have to say no to something I sometimes put it off because I feel bad/guilty. I think 18 responses in two days isn't bad, really! How far off is the event? Do you have time to wait another day or two and then send a reminder and still have time to be able to plan for the amount of people coming and get everything ready?
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Usually I will look at the invitation and have to figure out if we can make it. Sometimes for kids parties (especially school) I kind of want to run it by LO first to see if it's a good friend and he's excited or someone he barely even knows. And sometimes I just flat out forget about it. So send a reminder because chances are that the party is not the most important thing going on for some people and they forgot about it.
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Provide an RSVP deadline. Sometimes I have no idea what DH's travel schedule is going to be like. With a deadline, if I don't know by the deadline, I rsvp no.
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Agreed, deadline to rsvp.
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I am guilty of this. I usually look at the invitation and need to check the calendar so I put in on the kitchen counter with the intention of getting right back to it but it usually gets hidden under a pile of papers. I try to do better because I have experienced people not responding and it's frustrating.
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Just because people have seen the invite, it doesn't mean they know if they can come or not. It's only been two days, maybe give it some more time and then ask for rsvps.
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It has only been 2 days so give people some more time to check/coordinate schedules with their partner. Also, provide a deadline if you really need to have an exact heat count. In my experience, people do take a while to respond, but most will respond by the deadline.
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I count those people as no's in my planning. I can only speak for myself, but when I get an invitation, I either respond right away or I completely forget about it.
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Provide a deadline that you can live with. Once that deadline hits either ask folks to let you know because xyz (usually food as a necessary headcount works). Or count them out and don't say a single thing about the event until after. Sometimes RSVP reminders feels like begging non VIP guests to attend when you are A-ok with them not coming. Of course the not so nice way is to make a FB post about are the no responses.
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Always have a deadline! For my wedding, my wedding planner told me the average response rate is 60%. And that's for a wedding, not a fb birthday party invite! People are lazy and think it doesn't matter and they can decide that day if they feel like going. Good luck tracking everyone down! It totally sucks!
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I always put a deadline and people still don't respond!
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Sometimes I just am not ready to commit that far in advance. It depends on how crazy my life is feeling. If I am currently feeling desperate for down time or generally behind on errands etc., then sometimes adding something to the calendar in 4-6 weeks feels overwhelming. In that situation I wait until it's closer to the date to see how I am feeling.
I only do this for events that I don't feel obligated to attend. So for instance I know we won't skip my son's best friend's birthday but we would not necessarily prioritize a birthday for a child from school that we barely know.
It's a side effect of having a two-career household. Life is too overwhelming sometimes. I realize I am not being considerate but I can't always handle having all my weekends booked up far in advance. The work week is already over-scheduled most of the time.
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I'm having the same kind of issues, although mine is paper invites to my DS's preschool class. I gave a RSVP by date, which was yesterday but I still haven't heard from 13 people. The party is in a week but I am planning on making pool noodle light sabers (Star Wars Party) and I don't want to make a ton extra in case extra people show up. Am I a "B" if people don't RSVP and show up and I don't have a lightsaber for their kid? I may text people next week but it's just frustrating because I always try to RSVP in a couple days.
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Thanks for the responses! The party isn't for one of our kid's, it's actually my husband's 30th birthday/our housewarming, so most of the guests are family and close friends. I might have to make a RSVP deadline, since I'm still waiting on half the people to respond. The party is about 3 weeks away, but some of the catering companies book up in advance, so I would like to have food and drink numbers soon.
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@ottilie: exactly this!
I usually see it, and then want to talk to DH about it. I also may have to find a babysitter if it's an adult party, so I don't want to commit to going and then say I can't if I can't find a babysitter. I try to respond as soon as I know, but I often forget. The reminders are awesome, though I understand it's more work for you. Give people the benefit of the doubt...they're not doing it on purpose. Life gets busy and we have so much going on that an invitation can easily get lost.
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