Just what the title says... why is looking for a new church so hard? 
It's so exhausting trying out new churches every weekend... and it sucks when you just don't feel a *click* with the pastor or anyone there.
It's been a year since we've been church-less and I'm starting to feel so discouraged
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I am so sorry to hear! Do you think you might want to go back to a few of those and stick it out for a while? Sometimes churches might not give the best first impression...
bananas / 9899 posts
It is hard... DH and I went to a whole slew of churches before settling in to the one we're members at now. We spent over a year searching for the right one. One piece of advice is give each church a few Sundays before deciding it won't work.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
@pinkcupcake: We are in the same boat I was hoping to be settled by easter so we could start attending regularly on easter sunday. Alas, it is taking much longer than I expected.
We got a tip from someone at a church we visited a few weeks ago-- pick a church and visit 4 weeks in a row to really get a feel for what that church REALLY is like to make sure you're not visiting on weeks that are anomalies for whatever reason. We have yet to do this (I want to feel REALLY good about a church before going for consecutive weeks) but I think it's a good piece of advice!
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
We can't find one either. It sucks. DH and I just don't agree on one at al.
pomelo / 5129 posts
I agree with the others on giving each place a few sundays. And if they have multiple services, try out different times. Sometimes each one can have a different feel!
I grew up in an area that only had one Catholic Church so I didn't really appreciate "church shopping" until more recently. But it can be so hard! and then if you're of a religion that regularly changes pastors, it can stink to finally find a "home" only to have the pastor be moved elsewhere.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
It is so hard! I think it's even harder now with a LO in tow...
cantaloupe / 6751 posts
@Mrs. High Heels: I agree, since now their children's program is a huge factor. Plus, sometimes I get nervous leaving her in a nursery with people I don't know at all, so I have a hard time concentrating on the sermon...
@MaryM: @mrs. wagon: @pui: @snowjewelz: That's true, I do think it's important to go a few times to get a real "feel" for the church. I think our problem is, we go like 2 - 3 Sundays in a row, feel like this isn't it, get super discouraged, and then quit going at all for month(s). We need to just have faith and keep trying, but man... after a year of church shopping, we're both feeling so down!
@Smurfette: @mrs. wagon: I'm sorry you ladies are in the same boat Praying that we all find a great home church quickly. I know for myself, personally, I struggle so much in my daily life if my walk isn't straight. And without a church to keep me grounded, I'm feeling really blah right now
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
Oh, this is so tough! Praying you guys will find something soon - its so discouraging to be church hunting!
@Smurfette: You're in ATL? Have you checked out NorthPoint/Buckshead/Gwinnett?
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
@redsmarties: I tried Northpoint years ago. I had major issues with the sermon/message for that day. Not for me at all.
Plus I was raised Lutheran, so I would really like to find a Lutheran church. DH was Baptist, which I won't join, so we are trying to find a Methodist to meet in the middle.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
@redsmarties: BTW, how have you heard of it all the way in Canada?
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
@redsmarties: we got to buckhead and love it!
@pinkcupcake: hope you find a great church soon!
grapefruit / 4120 posts
Not sure what to tell you -- I have some pretty funny memories of church shopping with friends when I was in a new place for grad school -- one place we didn't even stay for the service! Walked in and out again. And one of my friends refused to tolerate any church where the worship leader played the keyboards and spoke at the same time.
Sometimes you just have to pick a place and give it a chance. We don't have many church options where we live (three, really, if I want a protestant service in English), and we've stuck with the one we go to through thick and thin... through pastors we liked and didn't really like. The community was what made us stay. SO keep in mind that a sermon or even a pastor may rub you the wrong way and it may rub all the longtime church members the wrong way! That doesn't necessarily mean it's a no-go....
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
@Smurfette: try againnnn! R would love waumbaland! 
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
@Smurfette: Our church is a strategic partner with Northpoint, and our lead pastor works for Orange. But yes - if you were raised Lutheran, I totally understand why it might be not your cup of tea. I'd give it another try, if you're looking....we LOVE it.
@chopsuey: I think I knew that! My DH is headed down in a few weeks for Orange conference, and I wish I could go with him this year!
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
I'm sorry, it took us 3 churches before we landed on one that clicked. I think it clicked more for me than DH (he was Catholic so it's a little modern for him) but I love it.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@pinkcupcake: I hope you will find your church soon! It's tough. Give one of them a chance and get to know the people! I find that no church is perfect, but hopefully you can sense where God is calling you to worship at! I grew up in a church and when I was in my mid-twenties, everyone was telling me to go to another church with more young singles but I really felt like this was my home church and I wanted to stay... I ended up marrying a new pastor that came in!
pomelo / 5000 posts
I think it's super hard, especially if you have had a church you really liked before. Every church is a little different, so I get a touch nervous about following their traditions correctly. Oh, and I hate the passing of the peace, even at my own church! Making small talk is not my thing.
I've decided that there is no such thing as a perfect church, so I try to figure out what is important to me and focus on that. I agree with others that if you are so-so about a place, give it a second shot--they may have just had an off week.
Good luck! It's kind of like dating, isn't it? It can be discouraging, but once you find the right place, it's awesome.
honeydew / 7504 posts
It took us a long time to find a church that we liked - probably a year. We finally did, and we LOVED it. 3 months after joining, we made the decision to move back to our hometown. So we'll start the process all over again. Bluch. It's so hard.
nectarine / 2115 posts
@pinkcupcake: We are in the same boat.
In fact, we just decided to wait until after the baby is born to continue our search. It is just so frustrating and tiring being a visitor every week.
GOLD / pomegranate / 3938 posts
@mrsrain: I think it will be harder to look for a church after your baby is born for reasons mentioned above about church shopping with kids.
@pinkcupcake: I was church shopping last year and the beginning of this year. I hope you stick with it and find a church you like. I had such a tough time. And now the church that I've ended up at and have been going to the past few months is great, even if it isn't totally "perfect", whatever "perfect" may be for a church.
cantaloupe / 6131 posts
Sorry if this is totally obvious and you already do it, but I would make it a priority in your prayer life to ask God to lead you to the right church. Like dedicating a certain time of day to that particular prayer request might help you. Ask God to speak clearly to you and to give you a definitive sense of peace when you go. That way you are prepared and receptive when you take in the service.
I also agree with others that so much of a church is about the people there and the community. Sermon style, music style - all that is great and all, but pastors and worship leaders come and go. You really want to dig into a church that's committed to growing each individual in their walk. I'm very partial to small groups and weekly Bible studies and we lead one now in our home for families. You can probably look into those resources online.
I'd also look into the church's leadership system. For me, I always want to see the requirements for the elders and even the bylaws that the church uses because that will largely determine who's running the ship and how. We had a rough situation with the head pastor last year, but we've held together as a church quite well because our elder team has been very good and intentional with the transition process. These types of things you can get without attending a service, or by e-mailing/calling a church or through their website, which may help from a research standpoint.
watermelon / 14467 posts
It took me over three years to find a church, but I may be the anomaly. I wasn't going super regularly, but a friend invited me to a women's conference last month and I am so glad I went. I love this church! I hope you find a church soon.
cantaloupe / 6751 posts
@redsmarties: @chopsuey thank you!
@mamimami: definitely, community is important. That's great you've stuck it out with your church for so long.
@LuLu Mom: thank you! Glad you found a church that clicked for you
@snowjewelz: awh, that is a great story! what a great way to meet
@Happygal: it IS totally like dating 
and I never really enjoyed dating too much. We actually had a church we loved about five years ago, but unfortunately we moved and couldn't attend anymore. I think that church has become the standard we are using now, and it makes it a lot harder.
@littlebug: I'm sorry you'll have to go through it again I hope you find another church quickly!
@mrsrain: good luck to you! I have to agree with @MrsMcD: that church shopping with a baby adds a new wrinkle to it all.
@MrsMcD: thanks for the encouragement. I think we just have to keep going and keep an open mind, and hopefully we will find a place we feel comfortable with.
nectarine / 2115 posts
@MrsMcD: @pinkcupcake: No doubt it will still be hard (maybe even harder), but I have a feeling having our baby with us will change our perspective and add to what we are looking for.
persimmon / 1116 posts
@redsmarties: Not to thread jack, but I LOVE Orange and am so sad I cannot go this year. Im hoping to tune into their live stream when I can!
| Today | Monthly Record | |
|---|---|---|
| Topics | 0 | 1 |
| Posts | 1 | 3 |
Ask for Help
Make a Suggestion
Frequently Asked Questions
Bee Levels
Acronyms
Most Viewed Posts
Hellobee Gold
Hellobee Recipes
Hellobee Features
Hellobee Contests
Baby-led Weaning
Bento Boxes
Breastfeeding
Newborn Essentials
Parties
Postpartum Care Essentials
Sensory Play Activities
Sleep Training
Starting Solids Gear
Transitioning to Toddler Bed
All Series
Who We Are
About the Bloggers
About the Hostesses
Contributing Bloggers
Apply to Blog
Apply to Hostess
Submit a Guest Blog
Hellobee Buttons
How We Make Money
Community Policies
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
25 comments