R is 14m and still wakes up at 4-5 am several times a week. He typically goes to bed at 7:30. I let him fuss for a bit, but if he doesn't go right back to sleep will give him a bottle, and he'll go back down for another few hours. Should I just be letting him CIO at this point? 5 am is so dangerously close to wakeup time that I worry he'll just stay awake for the day (and wake his brother up in the process). WWYD?
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Yes. 5am is not an acceptable wake time.
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@ShootingStar: I should mention that if he sleeps until 5:30/6 he's just up for the day. He doesn't ever sleep 12 hours. Usually 10-10.5. My older was the same. Does that change your mind? LOL
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We were off bottles by that point, but we went through a rough phase starting at 14 months-18 months of early wakeups around 4-5 a.m. too. I would go grab LO and take him to the guest bedroom and let him roll around and go back to sleep with me. It worked 80% of the time. I think things like this are a phase, and if a bottle soothes him, and he goes back to sleep, then I would totally keep doing what works.
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Following...DD wakes at 5am sometimes, and other days we have to wake her at 6am
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Gahhhh so hard! I tend to either rock her or shhh pat her back down if I can! Just can't CIO!
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@Tanjowen: he doesn't take a bottle at any other time! goes down for naps and bed wide awake. so, it's kind of strange to me that he is continuing to wake early for a bottle at this point.
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@winniebee: Well, my kid wakes up at 7ish and I don't get him until 8. He just rolls around and doesn't cry. I feel like there's a certain element of parental expectations. I refuse to let anything too early be an actual wake up time. I am just not capable of being up for the day at 4 or 5am. 4am is the middle of the night to me.
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@ShootingStar: it totally is to me too. however...our first slept 7-5 for a very, very long time. So that really adjusted my expectations in terms of children and sleep. 5:30 am is a normal wakeup time here sadly, and my own parental expectations do not change that! The answer to my question is still probably, yes let him CIO since he obviously isn't ready to get up for the day then if he goes back to sleep for hours!
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@winniebee: we also have a 7-5/5:30 sleeper. No amount of crying changed that
I'm hoping my second is a sleeper lol!
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@gotkimchi: my second has overall been a worse sleeper in that he didn't start STTN until 12 months whereas our first did at 8 months. But overall he sleeps more hours overnight and takes better naps. Tradeoff?
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No, because most days I have to get her up at 6 to leave for daycare
So I will feed her again any time after 4:30 or so because it's more important for me to get my last 45 minutes of sleep and I'm not about to make her cry to then wake her up shortly thereafter. So I guess it depends on when you have to wake up and your ideal time for him to actually get up for the day. If it's 2+ hours later then maybe CIO is worth it.
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@winniebee: oh god. I swear I'm still recovering and she's 2! We got a toddler alarm clock just to get us to 5:30 which is a huge improvement from our sometimes 4am wake ups. I need a drink
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@gotkimchi: yikes! When my first dropped to 1 nap, he started sleeping a little later, like 6/630 because his nap wasn't all that long.
@petitenoisette: we have a nanny so he doesn't have to be up at any particular time, really, although when he wakes late it interferes with the morning nap. Ideally, though, he would wake up at 6:30 every day.
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My kids (21 months) are the same way. They're in bed at 7:45 (lately closer to 8) and wake most days at 5, 5:15. We let them cry it out, which only takes 10 min or so. But the most we get is an extra sleep cycle (45 min) so they are up at 6. If I go in and nurse them they might go back to sleep till 7, but there's an even chance they will just be up for the day at 5. This was when they were not getting up in the middle of the night (or maybe 1 fast wake up). Lately, overnight has been a shit show and there's no consistency whatsoever. So yeah, we generally let them cry it out in the morning, as long as it is hat whiny tired cry and not panic "hey I pooped, come change me" cry.
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@winniebee: I guess with that flexibility then that it might be worth trying to CIO so you can see if you can stretch him that last hour and a half!
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I wish my parental expectations had an impact on
What my Kid did! -
I just leave my son in his room until it's within 30 minutes of my desired wake time. (Unless we have an illness we are dealing with or teething). In that case I give him Advil and tell him to go back to sleep after some snuggles.
I'm awake either way, since his racket wakes me and I can't fall back asleep until he quiets down, but I just want him to know its not time to wake up yet and to trust I will get him when it's the right time. Then when I go into him I gasp and cheer and say hooray and clap like its the greatest thing in the world.
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@gingerbebe: hahah. I like that method. I should probably just go give him a snuggle or something. He's probably getting used to that bottle. He does sleep beyond 5 about 50% of the time....
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E did that for quite awhile while I was still nursing. I finally weaned that final session and let her fuss it out (it was so on-and-off and half-hearted that I refuse to call it CIO!) for one night, and now she sleeps thru. So I guess my answer is that if you are tired of doing the bottle, then let him fuss! But if you are ok with the bottle (and/or it lets him sleep later and that is helpful) stick with it! Do what works til it doesn't
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If your desired wake time is 6:30, then I personally wouldn't go get him before 6 am unless there is some kind of illness.
In my experience, LO will cry a bit if he's still tired and then go back to sleep. If he's not tired, he'll generally just sit there until I come get him.
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@gingerbebe: Honestly, we did this too. It had a pretty high success rate, to be honest. She's slept until 8/8:30 for most of her life, and she's nearly 4.
We're at the age now that if she wakes up stupid early for some reason, we can give her some cereal and a cartoon and sleep on the couch while she hangs out. Hallelujah for having an older kid. Mom of the year. Lol
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@winniebee: We faced this, did CIO and it didn't make the slightest difference. I make early risers I guess. LO1 is turning 3 now and she's obeyed her 6am wakeup clock for 6+ month. She still wakes up at 5am each morning.
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We did CIO at 4 months because his one and only night time wake was at 4/5am. My pediatrician recommended CIO. We did it for about 5 days (it's getting fuzzy but it was def less than a week) and he started waking at 6/6:30 instead. BUT we never went in to him until 7am. Because we started that very early he never ever (albeit for something extreme like illness) wakes up crying. From naps or night sleep. He used to for sure! But now he wakes and just talks to himself or lays there and plays with his lovey. He will literally do this for an hour if we just aren't ready to get him yet. Sometimes he'll go back to sleep. Sometimes he doesn't wake up for the day until 7am and in those instances we go in as soon as he wakes to stay on the same schedule. I'd say 7am is more of our norm now, but we definitely still have 6am days.
So in short - I think a 4/5am wakeup is exactly the right reason to do CIO! Yeah he may be up for the day for a couple/few days. But you then adjust the day (first nap earlier, 2nd nap earlier, maybe have to squeeze in a catnap or do super early bedtime). CIO isn't magic, it usually takes a few days. A little painful but can yield awesome reward! Your babe will be way happier with more rest!
Also, you may want to consider putting him to bed earlier if you don't want to attempt CIO. Often times an earlier bedtime yields a later wake time. It seems counterintuitive but it's part of the sleep begets sleep mentality. If they are overtired when they go to bed it's harder for them to stay asleep for as long as they should. I have moved my sons bedtime earlier when we hit patches of early wake ups and it really has helped. I also have a few mom friends who have tried this and were amazed that they got an extra hour of sleep out of them!
Good luck!
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DH would kill me for trying to let her CIO at that time because it's too close to an early wake up for DD1.... and she needs all the sleep she can get
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I might have missed this, but is he upset when he wakes or he's happy? We didn't have 5am wake-ups, but we did have 6am for a very very long time and occasionally still. If she wakes up happy I know she's up for the day but if she's fussy and crying I'll do my best to put her down again if she doesn't go back to sleep after a while.
I am zero help since I don't CIO for any reasons...
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@snowjewelz: he wakes unhappy at that time. When he wakes happy he's up for the day!
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Eh, my first daughter was a terrible terrible sleeper, and woke up crying for every nap and overnight wakeup, ever. That was just her personality. There was no waking up and just happily rolling around in her crib.
And we did do sleep training--Ferber style--several times, because every time she got sick, she would regress and not go back to good sleep on her own. Eventually I accepted that she wasn't a "sleep 12 hours a night' kid, and adjusted her bed time accordingly. Once I started putting her down later, she started sleeping in till 6 am. These days she goes to bed at 8 pm and is up at 6-6:30 am.
If you try CIO, it will either work....or it won't work but you'll know you tried. =)
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I couldn't, so I dealt with the early wake time. Looking back, I don't know CIO would have worked because when my son decided he was awake, it was already too late.
I had also read about the wake to sleep technique, it's Baby Whisperer, and the idea is that you go in an hour before they normally wake up and disrupt their sleep cycle just enough so that they reset and go back to a deep sleep.
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@Anagram: LOL true. Today he woke at 6 and sounded happy so we just started the day. I'm hoping he just figures it out on his own....but man, soon, please?
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@looch: I read that too and tried it for naps w/ R when he was doing the 30 min nap thing. FAIL. 27 minute nap instead : )
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Yes, we do. But 9/10x if she wakes at 4-5, she's up for the day.
can't wait for this phase to pass!
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@winniebee: oh my goodness!
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I just went through this with my 12 month old. We somehow had gotten into the habit of waking between 4-5. She wasn't ready for the day and was grumpy. If I got to her quickly, I could nurse her and she'd fall back asleep (most of the times). Quick fix. But it would take me awhile to fall back asleep, then we'd get up at 7. I'm in the first trimester of pregnancy and was dying!
I knew we had quickly gotten into a bad habit, so I committed to just letting her cry one night/morning. Not fun, but I could tell her cries were mainly from frustration and anger. She didn't wake up at 4 this morning, but I'm still holding my breath!
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It depends on why she is fussing. If she is fussing because she lost her paci, I will go in, find it, and then go back to bed. If she wet the bed/pooped, I'll get her and change her. If she's just fussing to fuss or sounds angry, I let her CIO.
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I am okay with night weaning and offering other means of helping her fall back to sleep, but if that is the only wake up I don't think I could do CIO. It's too close to morning, and everything I have read about CIO indicates that it isn't effective. I feel like as long as babies know how to fall asleep completely independently, if they wake up during the night they probably need something. I would wait maybe 5-10 minutes, but not indefinitely.
Hugs momma
I know you must be exhausted.
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@winniebee: we have the same issue. If he wakes up before 5, we can usually get him back to sleep with me nursing and then he and DH cosleeping in the guest room. After 5-5:30 he is just awake for the day and he and DH will hang out in the guest bed for an hour to let me sleep more, and then I get up and DH goes back to sleep for an hour. We've tried to let him cry, and he just doesn't go back down. We did CIO to go to bed, and for actual night wakings, but that just hasn't worked for the early morning wake up. And then we risk him being up for the day at 4:30-5, and waking his brother too.
I say try and if it doesn't work, you'll know. But yeah, some kids are just early risers. With my first, he would wake up at 4:30 and go back to sleep till 7 or 8. It so seemed the middle of the night. Now it doesn't when he is up by 5:30 every day, 6 at the latest.
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@Mrs. Lion: it's his only wake up and he goes to bed fairly early (730, sometimes 7). He is totally weaned off the boob so I thought he wouldn't wake anymore and mostly he doesn't so I know it's probably not a hunger thing, but the bottle seems to put him down quickly. Anecdotally one day last week I was sick and exhausted and tried giving him a bottle at 6 to see if he would go back to sleep and he swatted it away!
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@Happygal: oh I hope that good streak continues!
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@jedeve: yawn. Well sleep in 10 years, right? The ironic thing is today he slept til 6 and I woke at 515 to pee. And then was basically awake.
I'm hoping my second is a sleeper lol!
I know you must be exhausted.
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