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I can't see using money as a tool to have power over my kiddo's relationship or housing choices. I will offer what support I can (though I doubt I will be able or willing to cover all expenses). The rest is up to my kid to decide: good decisions and bad decisions.
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If the were engaged, yes. If they weren't committed to each other, no way. I wouldn't have a problem if they paid for it themselves though.
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Nope in the sense that I would no longer continue to pay their living expenses when they decide to live off campus whether with friends or a significant other. You want to live in an apartment then you have to be able to pay for one.
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I'd keep paying for tuition, books, etc., but not rent or food. I'm not going to subsidize someone else's kid!
But mainly I think college is a good time for growth and that can be tampered by getting tied down. I don't mind if they date seriously, but I wouldn't want to facilitate them tying themselves down to that degree while in college.
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Not if it's going to cost me more for them to do that. If living off, paying half rent and utilities is cheaper than on campus, then sure. But, gf has to be able to show she's got her half (or my kid has to show he can cover what I'm not paying). It's gotta make $$ sense to me.
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Absolutely not.
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nope. and nothing to do with on vs. off campus as everyone lived off campus after freshmen year (whether in a sorority, frat or apt). you want to live with your SO, then you have to pay for it.
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I just saw this. I moved in with my bf during 1st tri of my junior year. My parents were supportive, because they knew we were very serious, and they had met him many, many times. I ended up marrying him, so I guess it was good. I was happy my parents supported me, and let me make my choice.
If I were having to decide this specific situation (in your prompt), I would be inclined to say no. But again, maybe letting them make their own choice is better?
With that said, knowing how I was at that age, I'd probably be like, "Ok mom and dad ... We won't live together" ... Then, I'd let them help me with my rent, and we'd just spend every night together anyway. That's terrible to say, but college kids think they know everything!!
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If I am paying their rent, nope. They would need to be paying their own rent if they want to live together.
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Dh and I lived together throughout college but we paid our own way. If our boys choose to live with their SO in college they can work just like we did. Even if they don't live with an SO they can work to provide for themselves. College is hard and life is hard, nothing prepares you for it like just getting it done yourself.
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89 comments