Hellobee Boards

I posted something similar recently... I will announce on FB but am going to hint that it's been a journey to get here. I'll openly post more during IF awareness month this year though.

No, never ever, ever. Not only did I not announce on social media, I shut down my wall so that people who knew couldn't inadvertently post something about it on my wall.

I called or told in person all the people I wanted to know. Everyone else heard via word of mouth or were just surprised when I appeared with a baby.

I have seen FB announcements though and usually they happen after the first tri.

ETA: oops, I was reading too fast and didn't read the part about IF! We did not go through IF but did go through a very traumatic early birth with our first child. We did not announce that we were expecting with her on FB and since she came so early....I'm glad. It gave us a lot of privacy. For that reason we are definitely not announcing #2 either. Just in case.

I've blogged and been 100% open about our journey, so I'll announce on my blog and FB too. But I've already told my cousin who I know is going through IF (we talk about her IF stuff and our issues a lot). And I'm only friends on FB with close family and a handful of close friends.

That being said, as painful as pregnancy announcements over the last couple of years have been for me, I wouldn't not announce because of it. I didn't resent that they did, I just hid them and checked their walls when I felt up for it. They understood, and I would expect anyone I'm friends with who was upset to do the same. I didn't want them to feel the need to curb their excitement for me.

I had a 4 year struggle with infertility before having our first child.

I did announce each of my pregnancies. Although it sometimes was a little hard when I saw a facebook announcement during my struggle, I was nothing but very happy for the new parents to be and that played into my decision to announce.

What I was very aware of was trying not to complain about pregnancy symptoms, gaining weight, etc. I remember one particular fb friend always complained about "getting fat" and "looking like a cow", it was very infuriating to me.

I announced to my limited group of friends on social media and included a reference to what we'd been through. I'd already been pretty public about IF and treatments and m/c, and had supported some of them through pregnancy after similar situations or raising LOs after IF. It's a special moment that I wish for everyone going through IF.

I told all of the people that I knew were having struggles before I made an announcement on Facebook. I did it via the phone, because I knew how much I hated getting in person announcements. I really wanted to put something on Facebook because I had spent so much time seeing everyone else being able to do it. I just wanted to feel normal.

When I posted our announcement (after 12 week NT scan.results) I had already let anyone who was still trying, or had asked, know. That said, in that social media announcement, I shared our struggles & joy at the same time.

We didn't announce the other pregnancies, since we never got to that point... but I also announced the miscarriage, since we were just a few days away from that point.

This is what I said, back then:

After two years of trying for a baby...
After forking out a ridiculous amount of money on doctor visits...
After cycle tracking and stacks of medications...
After disappointment time and time again...
And after two fresh rounds of IVF...

... we're cautiously excited to share our news with all of you! We're not out of the woods yet & have a few issues to contend with, but we are ridiculously happy people right now!

WE'RE HAVING A BABY!

I think it's one thing to "announce" a pregnancy on social media, and sure that stings a bit, but I usually get over it pretty quickly.

The people I've had to hide have been the ones that post daily/weekly updates/photos and post about nothing other than being pregnant.

When I was KU, we MCed before we got to a place where I was comfortable posting on FB. I doubt I would ever want to say anything before 12 weeks (though DH can't keep a secret, so I could see it spilling before then).

I think I would be more hurt by someone who worked to hide that they were pregnant than I would be to see a single announcement that they are. But before announcing, I'd tell people I was close with directly. So hopefully anyone who I knew was struggling with IF would know in advance of a massive announcement.

@Mrs.Pinecone316: I agree!

I think even though they've been hard to see, I've realized just how freaking exciting it is to some of the people who've announced. I know some haven't had an easy go TTC...and I wouldn't want them to think that they can't share!

If it did get to the point where I wanted to "overshare"...I think I'd do what I've seen others do and create a separate private group for that. I love that I have the option of whether or not I want to see every single photo some of my friends post...or if I'd rather just check out their family "group" when I feel like it.

I shared with my first pregnancy because I felt like it was our turn and I wanted to have that moment but since then I have had a miscarriage and been upset by many Facebook announcements, so we won't announce this time until baby is born. It's such a personal decision, I think.

Interesting question! I've been thinking about this (if I'm able to be pregnant in the future) and I don't think I will. It's really hard to see those pregnancy announcements. I don't know if someone else on my friends list might be going through an IF and I don't want to contribute to their sadness.

I didn't announce either pregnancy on FB, I just didn't hide it. Everyone in my daily life knew, and that was pretty much it.

I don't begrudge anyone's pregnancy announcements, even if I do get a bit jealous at the moment. I just make good use of the "hide" function hehe

Oh, going off others about posting tons a pictures. I will create a private (not secret) FB group where I will post baby bumps. Anyone who wants to see them can be added to the group. That way, I don't bombard people with baby bumps pictures. I want to take newborn pictures and take monthly baby bump photos just like all of my friends. I hope this allows me to do that and be sensitive to my friends with IF.

I say private but not secret because I will tell people of this group and I will tell my IF friends, too. I know how hard it is to find out that a friend purposely hid something from you because I have IF. I would rather them tell me then hide it from me.

@LindsayInNY: I loved your announcement and I think what you wrote in both posts was wonderful. I can't wait to see pictures of your little monkey when she arrives

If we do happen to conceive (rather than adopt) after our IVF process, I do not think I will announce on facebook. I will however, probably post an in depth announcement (entailing the infertility journey) on my blog and perhaps I would post a link to my blog on facebook. Only my closest friends and family read my blog anyway. But of course, this would be after I've told my friends and family in person or on the phone for my long-distance family. I haven't been open with everyone about our journey, but I do wish to be a support system for my friends should they find themselves on a similar path. So I think a tasteful, detailed, and hopefully humble blog post would be a good way for me to make my public announcement.

I never announced either of my pregnancies. I didn't feel like sharing my struggles. Only a handful of people knew we were going thru treatments and they already knew we were pregnant. So, no point for me.