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@Mrs.Panda:
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@dominobee: I don't think he fully gets it. But he hasn't been the one to experience everything either, so he's disconnected.
Sometimes I wish he would have been at home when I was miscarrying my pregnancy back in December. I think if he would have saw what happened he would think differently. Or at least I hope he would. -
@Mrs.Panda: I'm sorry mama
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@Mrs.Panda: Oh no. I"m sorry.
Seems like this month has been a real kick in the ovaries for all of us.
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@dominobee: That is for sure
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@mrskansas: Do you have PCOS? A false positive OPK? I mean, what??
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@Mrs.Panda: Nope, no PCOS. I guess my surge could have been really short? That's the most likely scenario. Guess I'll find out in a few weeks if I even ovulated!
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@mrskansas: Do you temp?
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@Mrs.Panda: Nope. Now I wish I did!
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@dominobee: Sorry your husband is being so self absorbed. It's so hard to be around people who an only see their point of view, especially when it's someone you love and who is supposed to love you. And murder is, like, totes illegal.
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@mrskansas: Hahaha damnit!
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@mrskansas: my fertility acupuncturist wants me to temp and it's a mess. I'm up undpredictably every single night!
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@Mrs.Panda: I'm so sorry
How are you doing? I know everyone processes differently. I found my CP earlier this month in some ways harder than my loss later in the first trimester. Obviously the early loss was physically much easier and much less drawn out, but with the later loss at least I got to see our little guy's heartbeat a couple of times and be his momma for a little while, even if I didn't do much. I felt like I got something very special from the experience. With the CP, I didn't have time to bond and really only felt disappointment.
I think people also tend to disregard early losses. I saw a friend this week who knew about my D&E and asked how things had been going since then. When I said we'd had another loss her response was "oh, well only 5 weeks, when we were TTC I wouldn't have even known I was pregnant at 5 weeks." Then she started cheerily talking about some random other thing...
Anyways, anytime you want to talk we are here to listen...
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You guys I'm looking at adoptable foster children in my area while at work just to TORTURE myself. I already found like five kids I want to take home with me. I kind of want to start this process now, while we try these last two cycles with the RE. But having the IUI and the F2A conversations at the same time will probably be too much for DH.
"Cash has experienced a great deal of loss in his birth family and would like to connect with those that remain. Attempts to engage them at this time have been unsuccessful, however if and when it happens, it would mean a lot to Cash to have contact with them."
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@mrskansas: I think there are big variations in batch quality with opks. For me it's easiest to confirm ovulation with temping. My temp does vary a lot based on when I get up, but I've been doing it long enough (nearly a year at this point) that I know what it should be at each time I get up pre and post ovulation, and it's pretty easy to see a pattern. Of course, hopefully your TTC journey is almost over so that you wouldn't have time to become intimately familiar with your temperature patterns in any case!
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@dominobee: awww.... and I have to say, I really admire you for having the bravery to consider fostering a teenager, that is amazing!
I also do the majority of the cooking, cleaning, etc. It is not that my husband expects me to do it, but just that he doesn't care. When I'm away - or before we got married - he was perfectly happy to live in a dirty, cluttered house and eat subway every night. Whereas I am not. When I visit his parents, I realize that he just grew up this way, whereas I grew up with my neat freak parents. Sometimes it still annoys me that he's relaxing while I'm frantically doing stuff around the house, but given that I value it a lot more of course I'm going to be the one investing more in it. I think he has come to value it a little more over time living with me, and hence has gotten somewhat better at contributing.
But I would not be ok if he didn't flush the toilet, maybe your husband is really stressed about TTC and it's coming out as frustration over dumb stuff like his inability to flush? Thinking of you...
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@periwinklebee: Oof, I can't believe someone said that to you. How cruel!
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@knittylady: How did your resolve meeting go? (or did i just miss the update, lol, I can't keep up...) I have been thinking about you and sending tons of healing thoughts
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@dominobee: I think people don't mean it in a bad way, but it's just their experience, and they haven't taken the time to step outside of it. For someone who got and staid pregnant from casually NTNP, they probably haven't stopped to think what it's like to carefully track your cycles for months, then get your hopes up, just to be let down. And a lot of people also just don't feel comfortable having heavy conversations, so it's easier to shrug stuff off and move on.
I try not to say insensitive things about other people's experiences that I don't understand, but I'm sure I have. And have definitely thought insensitive things. I think the whole ttc experience has helped to make me a more empathetic person...
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@periwinklebee: I have a soft spot in my heart for young men from troubled backgrounds, because I know without intervention so many of them are destined to end up in the criminal justice system... or worse.
If DH is stressed about TTC he hasn't brought it up. He needs to be a big boy and talk about his feelings, LOL. And my DH is the same as yours. When he lived w/ roommates the house was usually a mess. In fact sometimes I would clean his kitchen when we were over there because I didn't want to cook/eat in a dirty kitchen! Division of labor has probably been our number one issue since we first moved in together in 2012, and he is getting much, much better. But this issue of him basically ignoring my requests and then acting like I'm a nag remains. I gave him another example this morning: for some reason, he prefers to open the windows from the top rather than the bottom. I'm short and our windows are not in great shape so sometimes they stick, and it is much harder for me to push up to close windows than to push down. It's a minor thing that literally would not affect him in any way, but it does affect me because there have been times I had to drag a chair over just to close the damn window all the way! And I'm like, I've asked you this repeatedly and it's like you just ignore me! If you didn't ignore me I wouldn't be "nagging" you about it!
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@dominobee: I'm sorry
I know many of us have been there... marriage is hard. I think you'd be such an amazing presence in a teenage boy's life, it is very inspiring. I spent some time in developing countries, and there's a tendency in a lot of these places to send kids who are born with disabilities or serious health problems to orphanages, where conditions are unspeakably awful and they are treated like outcasts. Many of the conditions could be treated in a country with good health care. Even 15 years later, the images stick with me. The huge financial costs of international adoption, the huge medical bills you'd have afterwards, and the fact that many of these kids have serious emotional trauma from the horrible conditions they've been raised in that I'm not sure I'm equipped to deal with has meant that pursuing adoption isn't very feasible for us. But I still have it in the back of my mind for maybe someday.
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@periwinklebee: That's sweet of you.
I may still consider F2A in the future, even if we do get pregnant on our own. I just want to take care of every child (and animal) that needs a home.
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@periwinklebee: Thank you for your kind words. I'm still in this limbo because my husband is saying I shouldn't worry and it will be fine and it's so hard to not get my hopes up with his positive speech.
I called the OB and they are supposed to call me back. The nurse echoed the same thing "It's so early" but when I told her the betas she was like yeah...
I'm sorry you were told that. Everyone is entitled to their personal grieving or feelings when they have a loss. But you're right, some people just don't get it.
Unless the OB says to continue betas, I'm going to stop. It's just making me crazy and it's expensive. They said they don't even do betas until 4 weeks so the 23 would be the first one they would have gotten, but even that is low. Sigh.
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@dominobee: That's really amazing that you are willing to open your family and heart to an older child. It takes someone special to be able to see beyond their past.
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@dominobee:
@Mrs.Panda: I'm sorry, thinking of you.
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@Mrs.Panda: Literally the biggest problem I can see if we decide to go the F2A route is my parents. As I've mentioned several times before, my mom can be very controlling, and she often shoots down my ideas.
I'm not saying being a foster/adoptive parent won't be challenging. I just think that off the bat my mom will try to control the situation, and I'm really, really not looking forward to that.
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I just called and left a message for the RE to see if I can come in for another scan to see what's going on. This limbo of not knowing is really getting to me.
I hope I didn't mess up this cycle by deciding not to use the trigger shot
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@mrskansas: I hope they are able to get you in and figure out whats going on. The shot is so expensive but it really gave me piece of mind that the egg was really released/
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@mrskansas: I'm sorry for the uncertainty
hope they can give you reassurance soon.
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@snarkybiochemist: Yep I'll pay the money at this point so I can relax. Hopefully the 20mm isn't overly mature though.
Maybe the 12mm follicle on my right side was just catching up so my body waited
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@mrskansas: I think follicles grow 1-2mm per day
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@snarkybiochemist: I guess if I haven't ovulated yet the 20 could be anywhere from 23-26mm and the 12 could 15-18mm. I think it's pretty unlikely for the smaller one to grow after there's a dominant follicle but you never know.
I just want one!
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@mrskansas: no idea about the second follicle, our bodies do weird things when being influenced by medicine
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@snarkybiochemist: Yes, that is no joke.
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@mrskansas: Limbo sucks, hopefully they can get you in! How much is the injection usually?
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@Mrs.Panda: It's $100 for the shot.
Just seems like a lot of money for HCG! -
@mrskansas: oh gosh yeah
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I have an appointment in 30 minutes.
There are a few nurses at the clinic, one of which I really like, but I always seem to get the rude one. Hopefully she is not the one that does my scan.
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@mrskansas: I'm glad they got you in! @periwinklebee: I goofed! The meeting is NEXT Tuesday! I'm definitely going to attend. I'll report back.
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@mrskansas: Good luck!!
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