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How have you ladies been doing today?! I've been pretty good today, but I think that might be due to me just having alot of other things on my mind.
Yesterday we had a birthday to attend for our friend's lo that turned 1... It was pretty challenging as my very pregnant friend was in attendance & being around other babies with P is always difficult (especially since all these babies are 6+ months younger but much farther developmentally), but I stuck it out, stayed at the party, and didn't break down crying (which I did almost do at one point). I was exhausted by the end of the day, but super proud of myself!
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@runsyellowlites: YAY! Great job.
I had to hide my SIL's posts from facebook. It took her 2 years to get pregnant but every post is about how horrible pregnancy is. How sick she is, how pregnant she looks. She is so whiny and all I want to say is "Some people would KILL to be sick."
Personally other than that I am terrified of another chemical pregnancy. Every day is an emotional rollercoaster.
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I'm doing fine today, but any day now a close friend is going to tell me shes pregnant. I'm happy for her, but I was supposed to be next
I'm 90% sure she is, so it softens the blow. Also, I think she is due a few weeks after I would've been with m/c #2.@runsyellowlites: Woo hoo! I consider any kiddie event without crying a huge accomplishment.
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@brownie: That would be hard too! I'm amazed at how many pregnant friends I have right now... I started out hiding posts but have gone to just avoiding my timeline pretty much altogether b/c there are so many! gah!
@Mrs.Someone: Haha! Kids parties are just hard b/c it's much clearer seeing some of P's delays when she's around her peers (don't know if you saw my post last night).... stress totally unrelated to our loss but makes being around others difficult for me.
My pregnant friend recently asked me for my address so I knew the shower invite was on its way.... dun dun dun.. thankfully G has a game that morning AND it's the day of our annual vendor expo so I was able to kindly give my regrets! I'm sure when your friend comes out it'll still be hard, but I know being prepared will probably help too.... when the news comes out we'll be here if it causes a bad day!
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@runsyellowlites: Yes, I saw your post about P, sorry to hear that you're going through it. BUT, you're doing such a great thing for her getting her help so early in life. I would imagine there is a little bit of a feeling of loss for what your original hopes and dreams were for her? Also, remember that many of the geniuses in the world are Autistic.
I'm so glad that of my friends that are pregnant, this is the only one who is on her first, so there won't be any showers until her's. And she knows my whole struggle, so she will be very sensitive to my feelings. I wont be able to skip her shower though, shes too close of a friend. But she will understand if I don't participate much. Just hoping I'm knocked up by then...
Also, I have no problem skipping kid bday parties. We were invited to one next month that I didn't even give an explanation to, just said we can't make it
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I just wanted to say thanks for starting this thread, it's what convinced this long time lurker to sign up and start posting. I'm so sorry to hear about everybody's losses.
1. How many losses are you in your journey of healing from, when were they, & how far along were you? May 2013 we lost our first baby at 21 weeks
2. Do you have a/any live child(ren)? If so, is/are they your rainbow baby/babies?
No children3. If you had a recent loss (within the last 12 mths) are you currently ttc for your rainbow baby? Or are you pregnant with your rainbow baby, how far along?
We are currently giving ourselves some healing time before deciding when to try again.4. How have you coped with your loss, how about your SO or other live children?
My fiance has been amazing and supportive and told me that he knows this would effect me way more then he could ever imagine.5. Share your triumphs in healing
My sister in law and I were pregnant together and she was only 8 weeks further along then me. I've managed to support her through the rest of her pregnancy and then be there to love and spoil my niece no differently then I would have before my loss.6. Are you having a bad day.... share away.
Friday was a tough day for me, it was my EDD and I wanted to try to reduce the sadness I knew I would feel so I booked my tattoo appt for that day to get my memorial done for the baby. It was definitely something happy to look forward to on that date. -
@xInfinity: Welcome out from lurking! So sorry to hear about your loss and the hardship of your edd that just past!
How strong of you to still be there for your SIL & now niece! That. is. amazing!
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@xInfinity: I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our first one at 20 weeks.
Ladies, I've enjoyed reading this thread. I hate that we are all on here for the one reason of a loss or losses, but I am glad we can support each other on the hard days.
1. How many losses are you in your journey of healing from, when were they, & how far along were you? March 2012 we lost our first baby at 20 weeks
2. Do you have a/any live child(ren)? If so, is/are they your rainbow baby/babies?
No. We are 37 weeks with another girl
3. If you had a recent loss (within the last 12 mths) are you currently ttc for your rainbow baby? Or are you pregnant with your rainbow baby, how far along?
We are 37 weeks with another girl! C section is scheduled for the 14th because she is breech and stubborn.
4. How have you coped with your loss, how about your SO or other live children?
I've had good days and bad days. It did help to be pregnant when her birthday came around this year. My DH has been amazing. It hit him harder at first, but we both just leaned on each other and survived.
5. Share your triumphs in healing
Just having a good attitude about everything.
6. Are you having a bad day.... share away.
Not really just nervous and stressing for when she will come and hoping that delivery will be okay. -
Today was our second chemical pregnancy. Looks like we are off the ttc path.
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@brownie: oh no
So sorry to hear.
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@brownie: So sorry about your loss.
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Hope it's ok to revisit this thread
1. How many losses are you in your journey of healing from, when were they, & how far along were you?
One ectopic pregnancy lost a few weeks ago at 6 weeks
2. Do you have a/any live child(ren)? If so, is/are they your rainbow baby/babies?
No
3. If you had a recent loss (within the last 12 mths) are you currently ttc for your rainbow baby? Or are you pregnant with your rainbow baby, how far along?
My betas a week after the surgery came back at about 3% what they were the day of the surgery and I have another draw scheduled this week. Assuming they continue to go down, I will start trying again right away. I have started charting again and using a fertility monitor.
4. How have you coped with your loss, how about your SO or other live children?
We told some friends about what happened a few days after the surgery (once we were past being worried about the immediate risks) and that helped. The support we received was wonderful, and putting it "out there" was a healing action in itself. Posting about it on HB and talking with some other users with similar experiences has helped a lot too. For my husband the hardest part was seeing me in so much pain after the surgery. He is so optimistic though, and ready to try again ASAP.
5. Share you triumphs in healing
I've been surprised by some things that HAVEN'T affected me as much. I thought being in the baby's room would make me sad, or dealing with some things I had bought after my BFP, but it doesn't really bother me. I don't know if a part of me is in denial, but I wonder if it's helped that we started planning for a baby a long time before we actually conceived, so organizing the nursery is something I can still associate with an abstract future baby rather than specifically with this baby that I lost.
6. Are you having a bad day.... share away.
My husband told his aunt what happened because she seemed suspicious that I was pregnant last time I saw her and we wanted her to know to avoid any awkward (though well-meaning) questions next time we get together. She was pretty sad about it. She said "oh I knew it when I saw her, she was so happy and she was just glowing." That was really hard to hear. I've also been experiencing some anger towards the baby for putting me through this, which makes me feel like a terrible person. Each day definitely gets a little better though.
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Thank you for the original post and for reviving this one... It was just what I needed, as I'm feeling a little alone in my loss today.
1. How many losses are you in your journey of healing from, when were they, & how far along were you?
--We just lost our 1st pregnancy a week ago, on our 1st anniversary We were 6w2d along.2. Do you have a/any live child(ren)? If so, is/are they your rainbow baby/babies?
--No children of our own yet, just many awesome nieces & nephews.3. If you had a recent loss (within the last 12 mths) are you currently ttc for your rainbow baby? Or are you pregnant with your rainbow baby, how far along?
--Can't wait to start TTC again. We were given no reason to wait, so we probably won't, but I may not do OPK until after AF, so this month is probably more NTNP.4. How have you coped with your loss, how about your SO or other live children?
--I felt so sad and guilty and disappointed to lose our baby. DH is so sweet & supportive, though, even in his own devastation of losing this pregnancy. We both have loving families comforting us, too. I'm sad, for sure, but just know I'll get to carry a baby of my (our) own.5. Share you triumphs in healing
--Got to hold my nephew/Godson (6mos) yesterday and just love on him for a while. His smile and energy really lifted me up. He helped give me renewed hope that my miracle baby isn't that far off.6. Are you having a bad day.... share away.
--Just got back from a blood draw to check HCG. I feel so weird for looking forward to a low number, but know it'll help signify our M/C is further and further behind us. -
@GoGoSnoGirl: I'm so sorry for your loss. I know just what you mean about the hcg testing. Every time is go in for a beta I pray for a low number for my health but I'm also disappointed to lose the last trace of my baby. Glad you have such a loving and supportive family helping you through this.
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@anya: thanks... My beta came back at 9.1 today, so just like you said, I feel like that's the last trace of my 1st pregnancy.
But thinking positively, that should mean I can get back on track relatively quickly. How did you find out yours was ectopic? Hope you're healing well.
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Hi ladies....I'd like to join, if I can.
1. How many losses are you in your journey of healing from, when were they, & how far along were you? 1. It's still in process, I'll be having a d&c on Thursday. I'm 8.5 weeks now.
2. Do you have a/any live child(ren)? If so, is/are they your rainbow baby/babies? I have one beautiful 16m old son. No rainbow babies.
3. If you had a recent loss (within the last 12 mths) are you currently ttc for your rainbow baby? Or are you pregnant with your rainbow baby, how far along? I hope I have the emotional capacity to try again. I'd like to as soon as possible. I just don't know how to recover.
4. How have you coped with your loss, how about your SO or other live children? Not well, that's for sure.
5. Share you triumphs in healing... None yet. It's all so new. I, very scared and feel very alone.
6. Are you having a bad day.... share away. Sure am. I'm afraid of an uncertain future and the "what ifs".... What if it happens again.... What if I can't get pregnant again....etc
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@ValentineMommy: and @GoGoSnoGirl: and @Anya: I'm so sorry y'all have to visit this thread. A loss at any point is hard.
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@GoGoSnoGirl: that's a good result, hope you get to catch another egg really soon. Mine was 32 last week and I go again next week so hopefully it will be all the way down. I found out it was ectopic when I went in for an ultrasound and found an empty womb and the sac in my left tube. Luckily it was caught early.
@ValentineMommy: sorry about your d&c. I don't this doesn't help the emotional recovery, but from what I understand the physical recovery is usually pretty quick
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@Anya: @GoGoSnoGirl: @ValentineMommy: I'm so sorry, ladies
Lots of us have been there. We are here for you!
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@ValentineMommy: I understand about the what ifs, but I've decided that for me, I just can't worry like that yet. I think that thinking positive will bring our babies that we are all dreaming of. I do know that that is easier said than done, though. I would say to enjoy your little one, and know that you are not alone in this journey.
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@GoGoSnoGirl: how are you doing this week?
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@anya: thanks for asking. :). I'm doing fairly well, but feel eager to get back in the game. I didn't OPK this month, just temping & it seems I probably O'd earlier this wk. We didn't have great timing on BD'g this wk, so looking fwd to AF & TTC full force next month. I'm going to be 41 next month, too, so that's freaking me out a little.
How are you?? -
@GoGoSnoGirl: I'm just temping too (well I started opk but unfortunately didn't follow through) and right now I just don't know. I thought I might have ovulated but now I'm not so sure. I just feel so defeated. Finally getting a BFP was such a relief, and it feels jarring to be back at "square one" and on top of that I'm still missing the baby that I lost and right now I don't feel like I have a reason to believe it will ever happen again. Gosh that sounds grim. I promise I'm not like that every day.
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@Anya: after a year of trying for DD, 5 Months trying for #2 and then having a miscarriage, I was a mess because I felt like I had to start over all over again and who knew how long it would take. I got pregnant again just 2 cycles later (and we took the first one off). It'll be okay!
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@anya: aww, it's ok to feel like that some of the time, I think. But I totally understand worrying that another BFP might be hard to come by... though, I'm sure it is worth keeping at it. It just HAS to be!!
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@Tidybee: @GoGoSnoGirl: thanks friends. I know our rainbow babies are out there somewhere.
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@Anya: Big hugs. I can completely relate.
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@Crystal: @Anya: Sometimes I don't know what I am more afraid of, getting pregnant again or getting a BFN. Not sure if that makes a lot of sense...
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@simplyfelicity: it definitely does. Knowing firsthand how bad the outcome can be definitely takes some of the joy and excitement away from the idea of a BFP
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@simplyfelicity: I am terrified to get a BFP, and also terrified to never see one again.
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@Anya: @Crystal:
I also got this necklace to commemorate both my loss and the importance of hope. It's scary to hope sometimes but I still think its vital. (It's a phrase from a bible verse in Hebrews.)
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@simplyfelicity: that's beautiful! Where did you order it from?
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@Crystal: Thank you! I got it from etsy. There were so many to choose from with a similar theme but this one "spoke" to me.
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@simplyfelicity: do you mind walling me the shop link?
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@simplyfelicity: I LOVE that! What a good reminder for you. I know the mantra, but sometimes it is SO hard to feel it. I just passed a couple on the street glowing & gushing over their baby. Ugggh... good for them, but it felt like a punch in the guts for me.
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@simplyfelicity: beautiful
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@Crystal: Of course! I am going to find the link.
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@simplyfelicity: So pretty! What a lovely reminder. I just bought a ring for my right hand as a little remembrance of my baby but also to hope.
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Tough day today (about 1 week out from my miscarriage). I was with my 23mo son and our friends today at the park. A woman there had a 2 year old littl girl and a 5mo (I'm guessing) baby girl. The baby started crying when she was put into her stroller and my son shot up and asked to "see the baby." We went over and he stood, stroking the baby's foot, saying "it's ok baby. don't be scared baby. it's just a plane" (not why she was crying, but amazingly sweet). She stopped crying and just smiled away at him. Everyone kept commenting on what an amazing big brother he'll be someday.....
I know he will be too...Just needed someone to share with.
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@Keppa: I'm so sorry
I didn't realize you had lost baby last week. I hope you.find healing and peace
I'm 90% sure she is, so it softens the blow. Also, I think she is due a few weeks after I would've been with m/c #2.
How strong of you to still be there for your SIL & now niece! That. is. amazing!
Lots of us have been there. We are here for you!
How are you?? 
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