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We are also dealing with this as we have no family or really close friends nearby. Over the last few weeks I have talked to a few people, neighbors, friends, several babysitters and our cleaning lady and have enlisted all of these people to be on call when the big day arrives. The main problem for us is that DD is due just before Christmas and practically everyone is leaving right before or right on her due date, so I'm hoping she will be a few days early since I currently only have 2 options for if she arrives after her EDD. While DS doesn't have too many attachment/separation problems, I'm not really sure how he is going to feel about being left with a babysitter while we are in the hospital. Our main concern is to have someone available during the labor/delivery. After that, I'm less worried about having DH in the hospital with me, so at least he can be with DS. Like you, I'm hoping for a short stay in the hospital once the baby is born.

@yin: Congratulations!

I don't have any advice, as I am newly pregnant with #2 and already worrying about this same issue. Luckily, we do have family somewhat close by but they have never watched DS for any length of time, let alone overnight. I'm hoping we will be able to use our current nanny that we have 2 days/week and that family can come and help out too. DS is quite attached to me and, so far, I have never spent the night without him!

@yin: omg congrats!!

I had my mom and dad fly 12 hours to come stay with DD! I didn't want to leave her with anyone else and I was lucky that they could come. I hope your hospital stay will be short so that you can get back home to DD quickly. It sounds like she will be in good hands!

Our plan was for my parents to watch DD (29m) while I was delivering DS; however since they lived 3 hrs away we had a back-up plan in place. Our plan involved some friends from church who DD adores picking her up from daycare (or coming to our house if at night). They would stay with DD until my parents could get there.

In the end I was induced on a Sunday so my parents were able to come the day before. We tucked DD in and told her we wouldn't be there when she woke up but that grandma and grandpa would be, she didn't have any trouble because she was just excited that they were there to spend time with her (I honestly don't recall if she asked where DH and I were). My parents brought her to the hospital to meet her new brother the evening I delivered and then we came home from the hospital the next day.

I'm not due until May but already worried about this! I'm also a SAHM and have never spent the night away from DS. We went out late one time and my mom babysat and had an awful time because he woke up and would not go back to sleep for her.
I'm really nervous because last time I was induced but this time we are hoping to avoid that so we just won't know the timing. We are moving and will be further from the hospital and our family so if I were to go into labor during rush hour it could be tricky. As of right now I'm thinking my mom will come stay with us at the first signs of labor and we will cross our fingers that DH will be able to be at home to get DS to bed. If my mom is willing, we're going to see if she will babysit and try to get DS to bed while we go out for dinner or something a couple times before I'm due just in case. As for after the baby is born - if we are both healthy then the plan is for DH to spend the night at home rather than in the hospital.

@Ree723: You spell out my anxieties perfectly! Your post made me tear up since I'm right there with you (damn hormones!) I think leaving her with them during appointments is a brilliant idea though both for her and you!

This is at the front of our minds ever since we started planning #2. We don't do sitters except for family, and our closest family is 1 1/2 hours away- with C, I went very fast, so along with my mega attachment issues, I'm not sure we can wait that long for them to get here! I've basically been told to run, not walk to the hospital when labor starts. We have very sweet retiree neighbors if we get into a pinch, but that will skyrocket my anxiety.

I'm also worried about after, C was jaundiced and spent time in the NICU, it was hard enough having my husband in and out for regular pet care, now he'll spend more time at home with C, I was a super hot mess being alone then- what if the same thing happens? I'm mentally preparing myself for it again, but I've never cried so much before and knowing it may not be a quick escape from the hospital freaks me out. I'm hoping that this being the second time helps, not our first rodeo after all, right?

One thing that makes me feel better- I was almost 4 when my brother was born, I remember waking up and going to my parents room to find my grandpa sleeping in my parents' bed. It didn't upset me (and my parents were king and queen of attachment parenting! zero babysitters, not even the grandparents), I was fine and am not even remotely scarred by it. My 26 month old and your 19 month old definitely won't remember a thing!!

I was very lucky in that my mom was willing to come up before my due date and stay with us for a while so that when I went into labor and we left for the hospital, she'd be home with Wagon Jr. I ended up being induced so we left the house before he woke up. I didn't want to deal with goodbyes and he was fine with my mom first thing in the morning. We also did not have him visit the hospital. I didn't want to deal with tears or him not wanting to leave us.

Just in case I went into labor before my mom got there, we prepped our friend who lives down the road. She is married without kids and sits for us every now and then, so she was totally willing to be our backup. We installed a carseat in her car and let the daycare know that she may pick him up one day (or drop him off too). If we went into labor, she'd take over for him and my parents would get in the car and drive to us (about 6 hours away)... so they'd be able to relieve her within a day's notice.

Olive came 5 weeks early so we were completely unprepared. Luckily a babysitter we used regularly spent the night with Charlie. She had to come to the hospital to pick Charlie up after work.

My mom hopped on a redeye flight as soon as I was in labor, and she watched Charlie while I was in the hospital. Charlie was 22 months at the time and was totally fine. Mr. Bee went back and forth between home and the hospital because Olive had an extended stay so I stayed.

@yin: congrats!

We don't have a plan just yet, but it'll probably involve my MIL watching LO while I'm having #2.

We had a very similar situation. In short, I went into labor at midnight, DH booked flights for his mom at 2 am so she would be there the next day. At 7 am DH called one of my friends that has kids and she met us at the hospital at 8 am. She had him until about 6 pm ( the baby was born 11 am), at which point DH picked him up did the bedtime routine (first time in his life without me) and one of DH's friends came to sleep at our house so that DH could come back to the hospital to stay with me. We came home the next morning and MIL was just arriving as well. Basically it was a little crazy but at the time I really couldn't be bothered with the details and LO did just fine for that one day. FWIW he was also just shy of 20 months and I think being so young was actually an advantage.

My oldest was 8.5 months when my twins were born, I was crazy worried about leaving him for several days. But when it came time to do it I just knew I had a job to do. I had to bring my twins into this world and my son would survive a few days without me, even though he might be sad. He was in good hands and I knew he would be ok. He stayed with my sister so that my husband and parents could be at the hospital with me.

When my daughter was born we had several people helping. I had a cousin (who my kids look at as an uncle) he stayed with us the night before so he was here with boys in the morning. My husband stayed during the day with me at the hospital but went home for their bed time. It did leave me at the hospital taking care of a baby by myself after a c section but I knew it was what was best for the boys so we managed.