-
Even though I have a child and did breastfeed....it does seem weird to me. I would, however, never say anything and respect the mom's decision to do what's best or her family. I just would never do it. You asked for honesty, sorry!
-
Doesn't weird me out at all. Most of my family and friends breastfed past 2, so it feels like the norm, to me.
-
@Mrs. Jacks: UGH the over sexualization YUP! There are half naked pinups in mall windows but a baby nursing is a big deal? My hubby now walks by VS and says "Those are some nice bottles" ha ha ha
@MsLipGloss: Yes! pre baby 2 seemed like it would take forever for my baby to be two but now I am like he's already 9mo WTH?! 2 is still a 'baby' to me now.
When my LO was really little my brother walked in on me nursing (with a cover) and got all freaked out. We had a discussion on breasts and how they are made for feeding babies not for men to look at. Since we talked about it he's more comfortable and now says he'd like if his babies were nursed! Small victories!
-
So as someone who nursed a child past age 5, I can say that it doesn't bother me if you think that's "weird" or "gross." What would bother me was if you had questions for me or wanted to understand my reasoning and didn't ask.
-
I have a child and I think it's weird and a little gross. It's not something I would do.
-
I think it's really sad that some people think it's "gross" for a child, no matter how old, to nurse. How can anything that brings nutrition and comfort to a child be gross? I don't think I would nurse a child that old in public because I don't think it'd be necessary to do so, but I plan on nursing until it's not working for us. Weaning for any other reason (especially stigma) just seems so selfish.
ETA: "working for us", meaning LO doesn't want to anymore, I dry up, it's mentally unhealthy for me, etc.
-
I don't want to judge people's choices, but yes I think it's weird, even now as a mother. Although I'm a formula mother, I tried BF but it didn't work for us, so I never had that loving connection that comes with it, only stress and pain.
-
I have to admit when I was pregnant with #1 and found out the WHO recommends nursing until at least 2 I was like that is soooooo long. Now I'm nursing a 22 month old and I'm still like that is soooooo long, but I don't think it's gross. I never realized how attached to nursing she would be.
At this point I don't understand how people could describe it as gross, it's so much less gross and more healthy then what I see a lot of people shove in their 2 year olds faces.
-
As an extended nurser, you do have to be prepared for some strong opinions that what you are doing is socially unacceptable (maybe we should just all move somewhere that it's the norm for the last few years). I was ready; and I like the advocacy aspect of it, aside from the solid research that shows benefits. I understand totally that it is not for everyone, but when you have solid science (and many other cultures) to back up the fact that it is in no way shape or form harmful to the older nursling to nurse past (insert arbitrary age here), I don't see why it continues to be such a source of disgust. I mean, it doesn't hurt me if that's how you feel about it, but it seems that there are so many things that are ACTUALLY bad for children to be disgusted by and riled up about that we could save the strong emotions for that.
-
not weird or gross. my cousin is still weaning her 2.5 year old and it doesn't seem unnatural, etc.
i was so afraid that i wouldn't be able to bf-- that i think i'm going to have a harder time with weaning than ds. i'm so grateful for our bf journey and have only set short term goals (6 months, then 1 year) (we're 4monthspp now) .. i'd be elated if we made it to two years!
-
I don't think its gross at all. That said though my cut off would be probably around 2 to 3 years old if bf works out for our next lo.
-
Before kids yes, now that LO is here...nope! My cut off would be 24 months though. But that's just a personal thing, I wouldn't bat an eye if someone continued longer.
-
not at all! why should i care what way a mom wants to feed her own child? i dont understand how people would judge the way someone wants to feed her kid. to each their own! i hated nursing in the beginning, but now i love it and i have no plans to stop anytime soon!!
-
Not at all! Before having a baby, I admit I would have thought it was weird but that's because I was naive on the subject like so many other people. It's not the norm, so people think its weird. I will let my son nurse until he's 2 or even older.
-
I admit that seeing or thinking about a toddler nursing weirds me out, BUT I know that is my own hang-up from our messed-up society. I think its natural, beautiful and healthy, and I hope to nurse our future LOs for a long time. Hopefully my hang-ups will not get in the way!
-
@allison: Yeah, me too. It breaks my heart that people find something so natural and so wonderful 'gross'. If you don't want to do it, fine, but I really hate to hear they they consider it gross for anyone to do it. This attitude is a big part of why I still choose to nurse my 18 month old in public - I want to be a part of normalizing something that ought to be normal anyway.
-
Weird for ME, but not in general. I would pause and think, "gosh how did she survive that?!" but not "eww stop!" I don't BF at all though, that's ME. I totally admire those who do.
-
I think it's odd for a child who is walking, talking, and eating full meals of food to walk up to his mother, lift up her shirt, and start nursing while in public. At that point, it's clear that it's a comfort thing more than a nutritional thing, which is JUST FINE, but in that case, perhaps it's something best left for the home?
These are just my thoughts. It's not that I think it's gross, or that breasts are sexual (god knows, I feel my own breasts are the farthest thing from sexual now that I'm a nursing mom) but it's more that I would personally not be comfortable with that kind of behavior in public from my own child. -
@Pink Champagne: see to me that's a behavioural issue, not a breastfeeding one! A toddler is old enough to understand respect and acceptable behaviour in my opinion.
For me personally I couldn't imagine demand feeding an older child but would be perfectly ok with still nursing at morning and night.
@Monkula: that's some amazing nursing, do you mind if I asked how that worked logistically? (Ie was it on demand, did it hurt etc?)
-
Gross, no. Weird, yes. I realize lots of other cultures breastfeed into childhood, but since its not the norm here, it is weird for me to see. I remember being a kid, and a lady in my church nursing her son who was my age, and it creeped me out to see him on her boob in the nursery. I don't know why, because I didn't have any sort of idea of sex at that age. So maybe it's more than just a sexualized culture...?
I wasn't able to BF, but my plan was to stop between 6-9 months.
-
As with most things in parenthood, it's the mother's choice and I completely support it.
I draw the line at 12 months but again, that's my choice.
-
@photojane: I agree, it's not a sexual thing for me, nor has it ever been! I just don't understand why you would even want to. Two year olds eat food, they don't need to nurse too. No one would feed their 2 year old formula.
Not trying to be disrespectful but it's probably not as sexualized as everyone wants to think it is..especially with other women that BF.
-
@Kemma; it was on demand. I didn't place any restrictions on where she was allowed to nurse, but did expect her to be respectful of my space/body as she grew older. So I nursed her at church a few times when she was three, but she asked first, and we weren't super-flagrant about it. As she got older, say, 4 years old, she was in preschool. She learned from talking to friends that she was the only one still nursing. She started around then to want to be more private about it (none of the kids were mean, but she was very aware of that difference between her and them). So from around age 4 on it was only at home or in private at her request. Did it hurt? The nursing was never uncomfortable except in the very first few days, and during the acrobatic stage when she was about 13-18 months and would try to see how much she could wiggle around and still stay latched. Oh, and when I was pregnant with Lowly I had some nipple sensitivity at some points and that didn't feel fabulous, but by the end of the pregnancy she was starting to go most of the day or sometimes even a day or two without nursing. I would say at age 1 she was nursing 10+ times a day (some very short), age 2 about the same, the beginning of age 3, 12+ times/day (again, most very short), age 4, 3+ times/day, age 5, usually once/day at bedtime or less.
-
I say to each their own. I never expected to bf for 14 months, but it's what LO wanted. I was ready to be done at that point, so I probably wouldn't have been thrilled to be nursing at 2 years. But, if it makes someone else and their LO happy, I say more power to them!
-
I have no problem with women who decide to breastfeed past 1 year of age, but my personal cutoff would be soon after age 1.
-
@MrsTiz: totally agree. I think past that age, it's also probably a bit of comfort nursing for mamma, not just for baby.
-
Before I got preggers, honestly YES. I even get/got weirded about BF'in bigger babies and was like "hell no" to BF'ing once they get teeth. I wouldn't say anything to someone about their choices, but I do remember saying things like "You're still BF'ing" to one friend when her LOs were still BF'in from 1-2. Another friend is still BF'ing and her LO is almost 2, but he won't wean. Literally he is telling her, screaming for the boob, and pulling at her shirt all the time. I say I don't mind, but it's a little disconcerting at times.
But of course, things change when you start thinking about having your own kid. K is only 3 weeks and I love the bonding feeling of BF'ing, so whose to say how long I'll end up doing it, no matter my previous point of view.
-
I wouldn't do it but great for those who can go that long! My LO just bit me quite hard tonight and I shrieked with pain and it made him cry. I felt SO bad b/c it was bed time.
He just turned one and just cut his 4th tooth (two on top and bottom now) so time to wean for me!
-
@MrsTiz: a child would still receive many nutrients from breastmilk plus antibodies. It's also very comforting.
http://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/ebf-benefits/
@Monkula: so you were able to nurse thru your whole pregnancy? This is what I worry about with getting pregnant again. I didn't realize some women don't dry up completely from pregnancy.
-
I should mention that I my response (that yes it is weird) has nothing to do with breasts being over sexualised. Just in my opinion, at that age my child can get their nutrients from food alone and don't need breast milk alone to survive and thrive. At that age my son could ask for a sandwich or a glass of water, and that indicates to me that there is no need for a breastfeeding relationship for us.
I am very pro breast feeding, but I am not pro extended breastfeeding for me and my children.
-
@Mrs. Jacks: Amen.
-
So I get why extended BF-ing is considered "weird" by many. I thought so before my friends started having kids and I learned more about breast feeding. It's not the norm in the US since, statistically, the majority of women here don't BF past 6 months and only a quarter of women make it to a year. But can someone who thinks it's "gross" please explain why you think it's gross rather than just strange? I'm genuinely curious!
For those who commented that if the baby is old enough to ask for it, then the baby is too old to BF, I'm also curious about why you think that's the right cut-off point. My daughter started signing for it when she was 10 months, but I wasn't going to suddenly switch her to formula for 2 months because she was able to ask for breast milk, right? I get that talking starts happening for a lot of babies around a year and that's when most people in the US think women should stop breastfeeding, so it's an easy thing to say. Why do you think that if a baby can communicate her wants/needs that she shouldn't be breastfed anymore? I've heard a lot of people say this IRL, and I wonder what they really mean. Again, honestly just curious about the reasoning.
My LO is 17 months and still nursing 3 times a day. I'd have been happy to wean at one if she had wanted to, but she isn't interested in stopping yet. I can easily see us going past 2 years. Is she doing it mostly for comfort? Probably, since she's an okay eater (*knock* on wood). But I don't necessarily see why that's a bad thing if I don't mind doing it. And for her, I do still see nutritional value in it. She refuses to drink any other form of milk (cow, goat, almond, soy, coconut, hemp, etc), so it's an easy way for me to get a little extra calcium in her. Plus, for the days/weeks that she isn't a great eater, it's nice to have a little nutrient-rich breast milk to fill in the gaps. In fact, the nutrition aspect is one of the reasons I'm not pushing her more on weaning.
We rarely nursed in public past 6 months and never have since she turned one, and she's never, ever lifted my shirt, grabbed at my breasts, etc. If she did, I would explain that it's inappropriate to do that to anyone, including me. From that point, I agree with @Kemma that it's a behavioral issue.
I completely understand not wanting to BF past 2 years or 1 year or at all. Like all other parenting issues, to each her own.
-
Pre -baby I didn't understand it. Now (LO is 4 months) I definitely understand. I'm sure well go past one if all is still going smoothly.
-
Yes. It's weird to me. I'm all for breastfeeding, did it unsuccessfully for 2 months before I gave up feeling like a stressed out fool. If it had worked out, I would have stopped at 1 or 18 months. 2 is too old for me. I teach 4 yr olds and they are very self sufficent...I would not nurse a child that old.
That's my opinion, honesty in how I feel was asked and I gave it. I have A daughter, my views were the same before she was born and the same after. And the way our society views breasts has nothing to do with my opinion. -
@owlmom: I used the word "gross" because that's how the question was worded
I think a better word for how I feel about it is weird or unnecessary. And what I think about "when they can ask for it" is talking and walking. A LO walking over to their mom and politely asking to nurse is way too old for me. Regardless of if they just yank up moms shirt or pull at her shirt or breasts, it isn't a manners thing for me so much as the clear line of communication. A 2 year old can ask for food, and I just think it should be for food not breast milk. Hope that doesn't offend anyone, just trying to anwser your questions! -
I don't think it's weird or gross!
-
Nope not weird or gross. Whatever floats your boat!
-
@MrsKC; I did nurse through the whole pregnancy, but she told me around 20 weeks or so that there was no milk. Not everyone does dry up, though, and it doesn't stay that way the whole time. If BF is still your oldest's way of getting nutrition you might have to supplement some, but if you have an established BF relationship chances are good that they will not completely wean and you can continue nursing and go on to tandem if you want to. I didn't ever tandem nurse, as the oldest decided that nursing would be just for the baby and so once Lowly was born she didn't nurse anymore. She did happily continue through the "dry" spell, though.
-
@owlmom: I replied that it weirded me out that a 4 year old was asking for it. We were at a birthday party and jut ate cake and ice cream, then he goes running to his mom to pull on her top. That's what weirded me out personally. Clearly, that's a behavioral issue. It was weird, to me personally, that he just asked for it while we are all still playing at the pool etc.
-
@chopsuey119: I used to think so but now I plan to go to 2... and don't really care anymore. Most kids nursed later than 2 do it like... a few times a week, not 12x/day like a baby.
A lot of things in life are gross before you have any experience and then they're cool--or at least understandable.
He just turned one and just cut his 4th tooth (two on top and bottom now) so time to wean for me!
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
123 comments