Today was my first full day without nursing dd3. She is 4.5 months and by far the longest I have been able to nurse any of my children.

Back story, I struggled with my first two with breastfeeding past 3 months. This time around I was prepared to be done with breastfeeding around the same time however she would not take a bottle and nursed really well. I realized when she would not take a bottle that I was ready for her to take it and became frustrated and even slightly anxious. Well when she turned 4 months she suddenly started taking a bottle like a champ. I was nursing her to bed and any middle of the night wakings. She has been sleeping through the night and the last couple of nights fights at the breast. It has been over 24 hours since the last feed and I have no engorgment or letdown. The realization that I will never breastfeed again has hit me HARD.

As usual, not looking for any real advice but just needed a place to release my emotions