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@rattles: That seems crazy early to me! I can't even imagine that kind of pressure for a 5 year old. I've been really impressed by how our school approaches instruction and G&T so far. Our school is majority 2nd language learners and 80% low income/Title I, so they do a lot of small group instruction with specialists and coaches so that kids are addressed at their need level without being separated out into single classrooms for special needs, etc., they do a lot of observation for G&T and really seem to structure it to the kids needs to be challenged. My husband keeps trying to find reasons to dislike the school (different story for another time) but I've really been impressed with it.
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@erinbaderin: I’m in Winnipeg. Different provinces have different rules.
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@Anagram: does your lo have excellent fine motor skills? A lot of that (esp using scissors) is to improve fine motor skills and strength in fingers. Having said that, my kid does 2 pages of that kind of things at school only, never at home.
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@Grace: I don't have a class of K kids to compare her to, but I think her fine motor skills are very good.
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So we had our PTC yesterday. It was different from pre-k and much less organized.
In our public pre-k, the teachers always had a specific checklist (it looked like it came from their program head, so every teacher had the same one.) In our K conference yesterday, the teacher had nothing and started with "So, do you have any questions or concerns for me?" and that tripped me up because I thought she would start off telling me info that would give me jumping off points for questions, haha.
Anyway, She just had very general info for me: She said M is a class leader, she plays well with all the kids but isn't exclusionary. She said there is sometimes jockeying between some of the kids about who gets to play with M (that's news to me) and then she also said that although M is a class leader, sometimes she is also bossy. That bummed me out because.....well.....I just don't see that much at home. I also don't love the term bossy for girls.
I tried to clarify--like, what does bossy mean in this context, does she tell other people what to do in class? And the teacher said she directs play a lot on the playground. So I don't know what to make of the bossy comment and if this is something to work on at home (how does one work on that, anyway). It's an interesting turn of events, because she's young for her grade and in the past, I have always felt that M is a people pleaser and will tend to follow rather than lead, so who knows.Academically wise, I didn't get a lot of info. She said again, that M is a leader academically in class, but she didn't have any assessments or a checklist of skills to actually show me. The whole class seems to be working just a little short of where M actually is--like they spend a lot of time learning to write letters and learning to sound out letters, and that is something M has known for at least a year or two. But since the class has a lot of challenging kiddos with IEPs, I think kids like M are flying under the radar. Her teacher didn't know M can already read (very beginner level, but above learning letter sounds), and didn't know she already knows addition and subtraction. M has about 40-50 sight words, and her teacher was not aware of that at all.
I guess the important thing is, M always comes home happy from school. I didn't bring up the homework because it seems like the teacher and I are seeing very different sides of what M is capable of, so I think we'll just continue to do our own thing at home occasionally.
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@Anagram: I think as long as she is being inclusionary, you do not need to "work" on her "bossiness" at home! My kid is "bossy" too, so I just try to work on channeling it for good. I don't want to tamp her leadership skills out of her.
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@Anagram: I think bossiness and being a leader can kind of go hand in hand. If you work on anything, I would focus on empathy or openness to suggestions. You can be a bossy leader, but so long as you have other people’s feelings in mind, who cares? And really, it could be that she’s directing play because the other kids don’t. So she’s filling a void.
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@Anagram: Ugh, sorry to hear your PTC wasn't very organized! I'm not sure how I'd take those bossy comments... Probably just ignore them!!
I had my PTC today. It was very quick! She said academically, Xander probably is at a 1st grade level and is doing very well. Behaviorally, she said he's a little immature, but he gets along with everyone and is just a little silly. She had no concerns and doesn't think there's anything we need to work on at home! Overall it went well!
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@erinbaderin: I know it’s been a few weeks since you asked about sight word activities, but we’ve been doing one she loves, so I thought I’d share. I took the flash cards her teacher sent home and spread them out on the table. I gave her a clean fly swatter and then called out words, and she would whack that word’s card. She LOVED whacking the crap out of my table, ha. Now she’ll call out words she knows as she hits them too.
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@rattles: This is brilliant, B would love this! Thanks!
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The Kindergarten Fall 2019 thread reminded me of our own thread and we apparently haven't talked in three months!! Let's do an update!
How is everyone doing with Kindergarten? How's your little liking it? What else is going on?
Xander says Kindergarten is boring, but won't really specify why. I'm wondering if it's too easy for him? But they are still working on sight words and math and he didn't really know those things before, so I'm not sure why he would be bored. I'm guessing it has more to do with it being a long day with little outdoor time (recess is only like 20 minutes). But he's got a couple really good friends, and I've made some mom-friends, which is awesome!
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@Adira: Things have improved for us! We have not had regular homework at all for a couple of months, and none of the time-intensive cutting/pasting stuff--just a few family projects. And I was happy with DD's overall experience before, but now my happiness rating is even higher, lol.
I think I've posted this before, but our local school is actually rated pretty poorly on sites like Great Schools. Our neighborhood is rapidly gentrifying, but for a long time this area was very urban/lower class and the schools reflected that, so now even though the neighborhood is not at all low income anymore (quite the opposite), the idea that the schools are "bad" still exists and a lot of people go charter or private. Anyway, so I haven't totally known what to expect, and I have to say I've been extremely, extremely pleased overall. DD is in a "mixed ed" class, and about half the kids in her class need a inclusion support or a 1:1 para professional. Several of the kids are autistic (This elementary school is the only one in the district to do the ABA program), other kids have sensory issues, and one classmate has DS. So they have a lot of adults in the room constantly--4 full time classroom aides, and 3 inclusion teachers that come in and out, plus the head teacher for 17 kids.
DD's teacher is awesome, and DD loves going to school every day. She's had both Mandarin all year (just 1x a week, but she's really learning stuff) and she had a semester of French. Her school does Project Lead the Way, so she gets daily science instruction from the PLTW teacher. She gets recess or gym almost daily (unless weather is bad, they'll do inside recess which is basically free time in the classroom), and she has learned so, so much. She also gets art and music 1x a week and seems to really enjoy those classes. We are also lucky that our school offers a really robust and pretty cheap after care program until 6pm each night--although we have a sitter that picks up, so DD just signs up for the first hour of aftercare to do the fun enrichment classes (they have a ton of choices--everything from languages, to chess, to sports, dance, fairytale theater, yoga, arts/crafts, a pirates class, etc). She took French and dance last semester and is now taking Art Factory and dance.
We recently got her 2nd round of DRA scores back (it's just a benchmark to assess pre-reading/reading and math skills) and DD is 2nd grade level in math and Spring/1st grade level in reading. They will have a final round of DRA tests towards the end of the year to track progress, but I'm impressed with how DD has progressed when we read at home. She can read all the beginner readers now and is juuuuuust starting to get the confidence to trip the Level 2 "I can read" books.
The main thing is that DD just seems happy every day to go to school. The fact that she loves her teacher really helps--she keeps writing her teacher cards asking the teacher to come to her birthday party, which is hilarious because her birthday isn't until July.
Anyway, DD is actually home sick today, and she was supposed to turn in a Leprechaun Trap project we did--she was so upset she wasn't going to be able to turn it in that she asked me to take a picture and send it to her teacher--her teacher had already responsed to my message before I even got to work at 7:45 am, so her teacher is super on top of things and overall, it's been a really good year.
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@Anagram: Wow, that's all so awesome!!! So glad the whole experience is going so well for you guys! I hear you about the Great Schools rating - ours is rated poorly as well, but so far it seems like it's been really good and I love my son's teacher!
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@Anagram: We are in a similar situation with a "bad" school and we've had a great experience with the school so far. Our neighborhood is very heavily immigrant, so kiddo is actually in the minority as a half-white/half-Indian kid. I love the cultural and linguistic diversity in the school, and the school has fantastic administration and great teachers who really adapt to the kids and focus on their learning levels and styles.
Kiddo loves school and is doing really well academically. Apparently she's above grade level in math, she's reading now (wasn't at the start of the year), and loves any kind of academic challenge. The PTO runs afterschool clubs on different things like STEM, sign language, sports, etc, and kiddo wants to do all the things LOL She just finished sign language and next week she starts a puzzle club and a STEM club (I tried to push her toward just one but she insisted).
The one area where I'm a little worried is how she's doing socially. She's a very outgoing, very extroverted kid, and I have a feeling her need for interaction isn't getting fulfilled. She often says that she's feeling left out when other kids play, though it's hard to ascertain what exactly is happening, but overall she seems happy at the end of the day. She has no trouble coming up to kids and asking them to play, and I think her bold nature might be catching kids who are shyer off guard. She can also be pushy in wanting to just do things her own way, so I wonder if some of that is contributing. I'm actually waiting on her teacher to give me a call, because she mentioned in a recent progress report that kiddo got "physical" with other kids when trying to resolve a conflict, which is not like my kid at all, so I'm waiting to find out what's going on.
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B is, I think, doing great! He's pretty taciturn and the most I get out of him, usually, is "my day was medium", but he seems happy - he comes home with a lot of crafts and the teachers tell us he's very social, interested in everything, and always the first one to want to try a new activity. We were in Disney World last week and he identified a pattern on a fence (alternating maple leafs) and asked me to take a picture and send it to his teacher, so I thought that was a good sign! He really loves his teachers, and they're both really enthusiastic and supportive, so that's reassuring to me.
He's less enthusiastic about daycare, but that seems to be getting better too, although he still asks some mornings if he can skip it. On the other hand we've had to work "sit in the gym while he runs around with the other kids" into our pickup schedule because we were always arriving just as they went into gym time and he never wanted to leave, so we had to get into the habit of just letting him have some time. This week is March Break and he had a really hard time, because his daycare moved to a different school (not enough kids at one daycare so his combined with another location of the same chain) and it was really tough to come back from vacation into a new situation, but he's adjusted pretty quickly and now likes it there.
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@Mrs. Carrot: You'll have to update us after you talk to the teacher. I hope everything ends up being okay!
@erinbaderin: That is so cute he wanted a picture to send his teacher!!
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I can't believe there are only around 3 months left of Kindergarten! It went so fast!!!
LO is doing really well. I was worried about him adjusting at the start since he was coming from a very small nature-based preschool and only going 3 days a week to full-time, but he really loves it. His teacher is AMAZING, I love her, and so do all of the kids. He's having some attention issues, but the teacher says it's not detracting from his learning - he's just doing his own thing more than listening and distracting the other kids trying to make them laugh.... but i'm hoping he uses K to work through that before 1st grade...
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My son is still enjoying kindergarten, and loves his teacher, she is very young and energetic. They had an open house last week, and he was excited to show off his classwork. He is very social, and enjoys school a lot.
The school is both well rated and fairly racially diverse with a significant immigrant population, and no racial group is the majority (there is an Asian plurality).
My son has made a huge amount of progress, after starting the year behind. He did well on the tests predicting success on the third grade standardized tests. He is still a bit behind in reading, but has made enormous progress, and at mid-year review the teacher thought his reading would be on track by the end of the year. He does struggle with confidence while reading, and is often hesitant to try. Surprisingly, he has really enjoyed sight word flashcards and made a lot of progress there.
We had some behavior issues, but they seem to have improved, and I think they are within the realm of normal. He sometimes has trouble listening to the teacher, and has cut things he is not supposed to.
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My kid is still loving Kinder. She’s reading and I’m really impressed with her writing. They don’t do homework in Kinder at this school (which I love) so as it’s getting warmer and drier we are trying to spend the afternoons outdoors and are starting to schedule a lot of play dates at the park after school. I love watching her interact with all her little friends!
One thing that surprised me was how much girl drama there has been. The girls switch best friends every week and get upset when the other girls don’t hold their hands, etc. My kid has been both the giver and receiver of this kind of interaction. I spoke to one of the boy’s moms the other day and she said she hadn’t heard of anything like that.
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You might be able to tell from some of my posts but Kindergarten has been a challenge for our family. The class itself is going well but we are drowning in homework. Every other week I decide to say screw it and tell the teacher we're done. And then I don't. Reading is a battle of wills. Earlier this week I decided to stop doing the reading books the teacher sends home weekly in addition to the homework. I figured DD just isn't ready. And then DD read a book voluntarily and was so proud of herself. So many ups and downs. The teacher describes DD as a willing learner and she is clearly learning so she may just be saving the drama for her mama. IDK.
Outside of class we're enjoying school-wide activities and getting to spend more time with people in our neighborhood. I haven't made any other school mom friends yet. I feel pretty left out from the Kinder parents because I don't drop off or pick up. At parties when I meet other parents I hear "I don't see you at pick up/drop off." It stings. I rely on my preschool mom friend and a neighbor for the inside pick-up/drop-off intel. I assume this won't be such a thing next year when the parents won't be required to park their cars and walk the kids to/from the classroom.
Since DD spends almost as much time in extended care as in Kindergarten it's hard to comment on one without the other. DD and extended care director got off on the wrong foot at the start of the year and things have only improved slightly. The bad reports have slowed down from daily to weekly. Fortunatelyy DD really likes all the other adults there and they seem to like her. She's always busy happily playing when I get her.
I did find an outdoor after school program 1x week run by a science teacher who picks her up from school and takes her to a nature center or forest. It's awesome. I love it. DD loves it. I wish it was an option more days of the week.
We are enjoying the day light at the end of the day. I've been able to walk to pick DD up this week and let her and DS play at the playground before walking home. It helps me transition from work a lot better than rushing around in a car buckling everyone in and out repeatedly.
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@Corduroy: Ugh, homework in Kindergarten really should NOT be a thing. We're lucky that our teacher doesn't assign any homework. I'm not looking forward to that starting next year. I'm sorry you guys are drowning in it.
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@Corduroy: Ugh, I'm so sorry. Kinder homework just baffles me. We've had maybe a couple of worksheets the whole year, and that's been more than enough. I'm sorry you guys are struggling.
I'm feeling similarly with connecting with other parents. Our school is nearly all buses, so parents don't interact much at pickup/dropoff, and at our bus stop, most of the parents are of the same ethnic group and tend to cluster together, which I totally get but as a result we haven't really connected with anyone except one mom from class/aftercare, but that's been a challenging relationship to maintain.
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Kinder is going great and DS is still loving it. He’s in French immersion and it is amazing how well he can speak the language already. There is an open house next week and I’m looking forward to hearing from his teacher. Right now they are doing some verbal testing on letters and sounds to make sure they are on track for grade 1. He has weekly homework but it isn’t too much. They have an alphabet book and each week they focus on a letter. There is one page to practice printing and a blank page that they can draw, write word, cut & paste, use stickers and then they share at the end of the week with the class.
I pick up/drop off but haven’t had any connection with other parents. Some small talk but that is about it. It has been such a long cold winter that nobody really waits outside. I’m hoping that things might improve now that the weather is getting nicer and we can stay to play after school.
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@Corduroy: That after school nature program sounds amazing! Not sure what else the woman has going on, but maybe ask her how many commitments she’d need in order to expand the number of days? It might be worth doing a little marketing for her!
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We also don’t really have any homework - every Friday they send home their sight word rings, usually with a few new words, and they get a weekly reading book, but that’s it.
And another one who has no connection with the other parents - B is in before and after care so I really never interact with anybody. Even at his birthday party a lot of the parents dropped their kids off and then came back later. One family lives two doors away and we knew them before school started so once the weather gets nice we’ll hopefully hang out outside with them sometimes but in terms of mom friends or play dates, nada.
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@erinbaderin: So interesting about the birthday party. Kiddo turns 6 in June and wanted to do a pottery painting party, so we've been talking about who to invite and her kinder list is pretty small AND I'm curious about whether those kids would come because we don't know any of those parents. I kinda miss the preK days and that socialization.
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We have regular math worksheets sent home, but don't need to return them to school. My son usually does them, but he enjoys them. We have weekly books sent home to read and write a reaction, and these tends to be a struggle. Also we have had a few projects.
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K is going well! Sometimes she complains that it’s boring but I think it’s b/c they do a lot of work during the day. We don’t have set homework just a monthly calendar of activities that don’t need to be handed into
They have weekly book baggies to take home and started small reading groups in Jan.
As for me, I have parent friends from preschool and have met a few others at schools events and bday parties but haven’t made any real new connections with those so far. I know M would like play dates with some of the kids whose parents I don’t really know and I’m just not sure how to go about facilitating/initiating that. Guess I’ll just have to throw it out there and see what happens.
T-ball is gearing up soon so I’m hoping that will help as I don’t drop her off at school and that’s not a very social happening anyway. -
Totally random ? for you ladies with same age kids. We got a letter home from DDs school that said a PHd school psychology intern will be coming to the school from now-end of June and is forming "social skills circles" for the kiddos who are lagging behind on social skills. And DD was nominated by her teacher to join this group as someone that is a good example of social skills. We have to sign a permission slip if this is okay with us. It's a pull out program, and she'll be in this social skills group 2-3 times a week.
My first inclination was to say yes. I do think DD sets a good example behaviorally and honestly, I've felt all year that her class was probably set up like this, with half the class needing 1:1 aides or heavy inclusion support, and the other half being really chill, easy-to-handle, more "typical" kids. Like I feel like they specifically chose that mix of kids. So this seems fine to me--DD is basically ahead in most of the academic areas, so the pullout part and missing some class doesn't bother me. She'd likely be missing circle time or free-choice centers.
But DH is kind of against it. He hasn't fully decided, but he's wary of having DD miss class and get no benefit for herself.
But I feel like it probably will benefit her to learn how to get along with atypical kids, right? Like these social "soft skills" are just as important to getting along in life as the hard skills. And plus, it's only missing K. It's not like missing 2-3 hours a week of calculus. And finally, I know from working in a middle school that the high achievers are the ones who miss class the most because they are overextended and are constantly missing class for student council, or special field trips because they are on some team, or National Honor Society--and they just have to make up their missed work and they pretty much always do. So it's something we have to get used to as parents, if DD ends up being that kind of kid--like, she'll learn to manage missing class as she gets older.
Anyway, what are your thoughts? Would you sign the permission slip or no, and why?
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@Anagram: I would absolutely do it. I think role modeling behavior and being an example is just as important to a kid's development as being the "learner." And at this age, they're still learning empathy and understanding, so your DD would definitely get a lot of benefit out of being around kids who have different ways of approaching social situations. One thing I would just caution is not to categorize the other kids as "atypical" but as kids who are at different places in their learning and development. I don't think you're thinking of it that way, the term just popped out at me so figured I'd throw in my unsolicited 2 cents
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@Anagram: I would also definitely do it. My DD sounds similar to yours and I think it would help her to be around kids at different levels socially so she better understands things aren't as easy breezy for other kids as they can be for her sometimes, and how to deal with those situations and include everyone where they are at. I think she has a tendency to stick with kids that are similar to her, and while she isn't excluding other kids I think it can't hurt to be more exposed.
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@Adira: Just to update on my note re: kiddo's progress report and her apparently getting physical with other kids. We met with her teacher on Friday, and basically it sounds like what happened is that a group of 3-4 girls, one of them my daughter, were in a disagreement about something, and ended up pushing each other in frustration. The teacher didn't see how it started, and said that everyone in the group was doing it, including my daughter. It apparently wasn't hard enough that anyone was hurt, and the teacher intervened after a few minutes of trying to let them resolve it themselves. She doesn't have any concerns about kiddo's behavior overall, and thinks this was situational. Interestingly, one of the girls involved is someone that my daughter keeps trying to get closer to but the girl is often a bit of a jerk to her so I wonder if that dynamic is showing up a bit too. The girls get on the bus together so my husband sees them interact in the morning and says that our kiddo is often trying to play and talk to her, but the other girl often ditches her for other kids, which I know our kiddo has definitely been upset about before. Either way we talked about using our hands vs using our words, etc., and I think she gets it, so we'll see how it goes. Girl friendships are making my head hurt already lol
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@Mrs. Carrot: Thanks for the update!! It sounds like this was probably a one-time occurrence, so hopefully you don't hear about any more issues. Ugh, the whole friendship thing at this age just breaks my heart... Xander has a friend that he plays with for 5-10 minutes after school every day, and the other day that friend was having a playdate with someone else, so he left with him right after school instead of playing with Xander and Xander was just so bummed...
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@Mrs. Carrot: That's the educational term du jour for kids who used to be labeled "special needs". I work in a middle school, and these are the terms we use in meetings, IEP/504 discussions, in our PLEPS (our written updates on the kids case files, etc). But I also put it in quotes because I can understand how some parents wouldn't like any term that means their child is abnormal. But I think that is why schools use typical, as in typically developing, and atypical.
https://www.thoughtco.com/typical-and-not-normal-3110879
https://www.parents.com/health/special-needs-now/11-things-i-wish-my-friends-with-typical-kids-knew-about-raising-a-son-with/
http://motheringoutsidethelines.com/what-does-atypical-mean-plus-an-uplifting-message-to-moms-of-atypical-kids/ -
@Anagram: Oh, interesting, thank you for that background. I have a friend who had 3 kids with special needs, and she's always saying on Facebook how she hates the term atypical, so I just assumed it was not a good one to use. I appreciate the education!
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@Mrs. Carrot: I feel like this kind of thing changes really often, so who knows what it will be in 1-2 years, you know? Special needs was created to replaced "retarded", which has a super negative connotation now but used to literally mean "delayed" developmentally. And then Special Needs became kind of a rude term and we migrated to typical/atypical. And now who knows what will be next. What does your friend suggest for someone who is developing outside of typical timelines or isn't developing at all?
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@Anagram: She uses "neurodiverse" most frequently, though I realize that in her case it might be more applicable (she has kids with FASD, autism and anxiety) than the situation you're describing, where the kids may not be developmentally delayed because of an actual medical diagnosis, but just developing on a different time frame.
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@Mrs. Carrot: I think, with the unfortunate way the world works, even if we all start saying "neurodiverse" today, then in 3 years the kids will catch on to what it means and within 5 years it will used as a slur or a taunt. And then we'll have a new term.
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@Mrs. Carrot: oh man, and then I just read this. I guess neurodiverse is already divisive in some circles. I did not know that. https://the-art-of-autism.com/neurodiverse-a-person-a-perspective-a-movement/
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@Anagram: Is this a situation where you'd be comfortable asking DD if she wants to participate? I'm trying to do that more and more when I'm on the fence about something. I find DD often has a concern or interest I hadn't considered.
I tried to clarify--like, what does bossy mean in this context, does she tell other people what to do in class? And the teacher said she directs play a lot on the playground. So I don't know what to make of the bossy comment and if this is something to work on at home (how does one work on that, anyway). It's an interesting turn of events, because she's young for her grade and in the past, I have always felt that M is a people pleaser and will tend to follow rather than lead, so who knows.
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