Hellobee Boards

@Corduroy: asking her is a good idea. How would you phrase it in a way that makes sense for DD but also doesn’t draw attention to other kids? Like if she asks who else is going (I honestly don’t know) and of her friends are also doing it, if I say no or I’m not sure, she may not want to go.

@Anagram: My take on the “role model” situation depends on whether there will be other “model” students or if she’s the only one. When I was a kid (but a little older than your DD), my teacher did something similar with me and it ended up creating a bad social dynamic with kids calling me teacher’s pet and such. I ended up feeling pretty isolated and upset with my teacher for singling me out. Based on that experience, I would only let my kid participate as a “model student” if there were maybe half a dozen kids filling that same role. I don’t disagree with the potential benefits other people have mentioned, but IMO those would be outweighed if she ends up being teased for being the good example.

@Corduroy: OMG, this broke my heart. Poor little thing!

@Corduroy: OMG. That's so much for Kinder! This actually reminds me of something else we've experienced this year in K that I was totally not ready for--this "crush" business. How do you think the kids even know this stuff so young?!

My DD has never, ever mentioned anything about that type of stuff, but recently at a birthday party, I had a parent approach me and joke that she was my DDs future mother-in-law because her son had "A big crush" on DD and all he does it talk about her, and he kept her christmas card and still has it on his bedside table so he can look at it every night.

So if that isn't crazy enough, another mom at the party heard this exchange and said that HER daughter had been so upset lately because her daughter had a crush on that boy, but the boy liked DD. And Another boy apparently likes DD and the two boys were fighting to sit next to her at the party.

I was pretty shocked, because.....DD doesn't talk like that at home. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know what a crush is, and we never, ever do that weird stuff where adults ask their kids who their boyfriend is, or accuse them of "liking" every opposite gender kid they play with. I'm actually pretty against all that hetero normative stuff, and also maybe I'm a prude because I think they are just too young for that kind of thing. But is it developmentally normal? I thought it was really bizarre, but a lot of the other parents were encouraging it.

We've had quite a few class birthday parties this past month, and the "love triangle" is a big topic of conversation among the parents. They were all watching as the boys fought over who got to sit next to DD (and one of the boys cried, so his dad got another chair and put it on DDs other side). I was pretty squicked out and at home after the party, we just talked about including everyone and being friends with everyone. But one boy at the party tried to HOLD HER HAND and she kept pulling away (again, how do they know that's a thing? Well, I guess they see their parents do it, so maybe it's normal), but I also reiterated that she does not have to be nice if someone is touching her and she doesn't like it.

Anyway. I was not prepared for any of this. Have you guys been seeing this stuff?

@Anagram: @erinbaderin: I think it's probably normal for this age? I know Xander said he was going to marry one of the girls in his class. But he also said he wanted to marry his best boy friend. And preferably both his best boy friends. And if he couldn't marry both of them, then he'd marry one and the other would have to just live with them, or at least next door.

I basically just said "That's nice, but you might change your mind when you grow up. And you can only marry someone if they also want to marry you, but you can figure it out once you're an adult."

@Adira: Fair enough, B did tell me he was going to marry his little brother because he couldn't marry me, since I was already married. But I still think it's weird that all the other parents are calling it a "love triangle" and encouraging it.

@Anagram: yeah I could see that being a little weird... my son all of a sudden in K started having 'crushes' and there was a lot of kissing going around in class, and on the bus... I'm hoping it was just a phase when they were all new & in class together. I haven't heard about anymore kissing... but yeah.... can't believe it's all starting already.

My daughter just started 1st grade this week! Where has the time gone?

Nothing else to add, just bumping this thread to hear how 1st is starting off for everyone...

@erinbaderin: That's bizarre! If it was just 1 kid I might think it was a dream or something. For both of them to come up with that story... weird.

My daughter has a 1st-grade teacher we've heard lots about and expect to be good, but I don't think she'll be able to live up to the beloved Kinder teacher! They have subject teachers at this school and the English teacher is the only one who is staying the same from last year, but the math teacher is one who she's been with during summer camp so that should be good.