My 12.5 month old is going through such a rough phase. I was thinking about trying to gradually ween him off te boob or at least drop a few feeds but lately it seems like he only wants to nurse ALL THE TIME! My nipples are raw from day and night feeding. He has also been suffering intense separation anxiety and only wants to be held by me the majority of the day. He won't eat many solids. He used to eat three meals a day. I can get him to eat a bit at dinner but he has been vehemently refusing breakfast or lunch and most snacks. He just wants to nurse constantly. If I try to deny him he screams bloody murder. Sometimes I can distract him. It is so odd. It does seem like he may have some new teeth coming in. Please Help! I am so exhausted and overwhelmed. Any suggestions are welcome . This is all very recent ( going on three weeks) and not normal for him.
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Ugh, that doesn't sound like fun. Could it be his 1 year old molars? I don't have any recommendations though, because mine didn't make it to 1 years old EBF. I do have a friend whose son wanted to nurse all the time and would do it more the older he got than when he was younger. She eventually just had to stop nursing him.
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It may sound harsh but I think the best thing would be to not give in to all the feedings he wants. I know it's SO hard but I think it's the only way you will catch a break. How many times is he nursing a day?
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He nurses so much that i can't keep track right now. I can't bear to do CIO. I try to let him but eventually I give in when he refuses all the food or bottles or cups I offer him which I think makes him cry even more now. @Bao
@MamaBehr: I just can't deal with a screaming baby and he is not the type to cool down but screams for so long.
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I don't do CIO either but I definitely think there are times, especially at their age now, where it's a pissed cry and not a hurt/pain/etc cry. They're at the age where they're learning to see your reaction, exert will, etc. LO sometimes tantrums over things but it is what it is...she can't always get everything she wants. I don't see it as CIO if I'm there playing with her, distracting her, etc..even if she's screaming on the floor next to me. It's not like you're leaving him in his room for the night to scream you know?
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Did he slow down his nursing just prior to twelve months? I read somewhere that babies that do that suddenly hit a year and realise that they haven't been nursing as often and start feeding like a newborn to make up for it!
The other cause could be that your little man has just worked out he's independent of you and is freaking out about it a little.
Maybe set a timer and let him know that he can only nurse for a set period of time?
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@sorrycharlie: it's just not the level of cry that is normal. It's hysterical and he grabs at me and just loses his mind. I have tried to withstand it and play and distract him and sometimes it works by other times its impossible.
@Kemma: he did slow down for a while and now he is like gangbusters. It seems to be more based in comfort than hunger but he is doing it so often all night long and trough te day that e is not hungry for solids or refuses them when I try.
I just got him to eat some solid food but it was a real battle. God I hope things improve soon. I am so tired.
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As @sorrycharlie: I think there is a big difference between cry it out and giving in to every demand. Your LO is at the point where he understands cause and effect. If having a meltdown always results in getting what he wants (ie nursing) then he will continue to do it.
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@MamaMoose: I hear you but this is not an angry tantrum. He literally panics. It' seems like its related to me taking away something that makes him feel secure and he screams bloody murder!
I guess I am just looking for suggestions that don't involve just letting him panic and scream his head off because in the end he is not backing down and I can't take it for as long as he will do it. I don't think he is being a brat, I think he really truly feels that he needs to nurse to feel better and I wish I could comfort him in other ways. I try to rock him or play with him or give him food and i would say its 50/50 for it to work.
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Weening or semi weening can be just as heart breaking and difficult as sleep training sometimes and I don't think a baby is any less upset when you sleep train them so to me they are sort of similar only I don't leave him alone.
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@MrsMccarthy: does he still demand to nurse if you're away from home or on an outing? I find that when my LO is out doing "stuff" she can go six hours without nursing because she's not thinking about it.
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@MrsMccarthy: Hugs mama. I feel as though if you think he's panicking and not acting out, I would probably let him nurse. You know your baby better than anyone and if you feel that he needs to nurse, and you don't mind nursing him, it can't hurt to do it. I'd carry on doing the rocking/playing/distraction stuff as well though, and hopefully it will go from working 50% of the time to more regularly.
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@MrsMccarthy: My guy did the same thing at 12 months and we are now going through another phase of this at 16 months. He is cutting molars again. It's tough. I am also in the mind set of not being able to listen to the screaming. It just makes me more frustrated, upset, and aggravated. I would rather just nurse him and have him be quiet. I have no advice just figured it might make you feel better to know you're not alone.
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@Kemma: thank god he is better about it when we go out in the stroller but almost as soon as he sees me or I take him out he starts asking for it now. It's really become and issue. Taking him on a walk has been the only thing that works along with putting on Elmo's world or baby signing DVDs. There are little tricks but nothing works at night. At night it's like I am the human pacifier since he quit his pacifier. And he is just so hungry all the time lately.
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@travelgirl1: Agree!
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@junebugmama: thank you! Not only can I not stand the screaming but I feel like if I let him scream for it too long that is what really reinforces the idea that it is something he has to scream for. To top things off my husband is not supportive of me through it and says I give in too easily but meanwhile he is not helping me much if at all. Occasionally he will feed Tor and that does help but he is not at all consistent. It's all falling on me. My only trick is to feed him a little bit and then try to distract him then feed a tiny bit but man oh man is it exhausting.
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@travelgirl1: thank you! I'm trying and hopefully he will be easier again soon. Perhaps after these teeth break through.
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@MrsMccarthy: im not a fan of letting LO cry either. Little A does go psycho for the boob too though, but I can tell its more of a tantrum than anything else. I usually ask her to find one of her toys or find her drink cup or her snack cup if they're laying around.
Does he take whole milk at all? I would start offering that everytime he "asks" to nurse. If he refuses then go for a walk or something but take the sippy with you amd try offering.
My LO will usually stop tantruming and cuddle up to snuggle if I give her her paci too. I dont think T takes a paci anymore does he? Seems like he needs a lovey or something!
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@yellowbird: he takes whole milk minimally but pushes the bottle away like its the plague most of the time. Today I even tried mixing breast milk with whole milk and nada. I'm so exhausted. Sometimes I can distract him but other times he is fixated on what he wants and it is all that will satiate him. He angrily throws all toys food or cups or bottles I offer. He kicks squirms and grabs at me. It's heart breaking and brutal.
I am starting to think weening is just not right for him yet. Uncle.
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A does the same arm thrashing and pushing away with solids. Shes used to drinking her milk out of a cup since im gone all day, but as soon as I come home she starts screaming, arching her back, and just yelling! I def feel your pain.
Maybe try weaning just one feed away at a time. It doesnt have to be all or nothing!
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@yellowbird: yeah I have kind of decided that I'm goin to stress about it less for now and just see how things evolve because I am literally getting hardly any sleep combined with working overtime to try and push him into eating food. I think we both need a break. I wish my husband was more supportive and wouldn't make me feel like a failure when I nurse.
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Hugs mama. I will say that my best girlfriend has been going through the same thing with her son. Since he turned 1, he has used his mama as a human pacifier (pulls down her shirt all.the.time) and snacks on her day and night and is never hungry enough for solids. She also decided not to CIO wean him.....and he is almost 19 months with no end in sight. You're definitely not alone in this, but just a cautionary tale that it can last a long time (and not get tired of it) if they think it's ok.
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Aw, I'm sorry Mama. E definitely did this when his molars first started coming in. His appetite never dropped (the kid is a total garbage disposal), but he was frantic about nursing and would get angry if I tried to say no.
I'm lucky that he's very easy to distract, particularly if I play with his xylophone or any other musical toy. Taking him and letting him walk around outside helps too. I started trying to limit it during the day--I'll only nurse him in his bedroom, for instance. If he starts trying to yank my shirt down or hit my boobs I'll bring him in there. And even if he slaps it out of my hand I'll always offer him a sip of water before I bring him in there.
It's been a slow process, but he's slowly gotten less frantic about it. Hopefully it's a phase for Tor, but big hugs in the meantime.
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@sylvie_b: oh man! Thanks for the hugs an support. I know it could be a while and that's fine. I just wish he would cut back at least. Especially since we plan to TTC in January.
@lovehoneybee: thanks sweetie! That is a great idea about takin him into the bedroom to nurse. I like the idea of making it something that he can only expect on certain places. I think Tor may be getting his canines in but I'm not sure. When you go out do you ever nurse him? Do you move to a different spot if you do ?
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@MrsMccarthy: The canines were hard for us, too
He doesn't try to nurse when we're out and about, and is generally satisfied with water when we are. And usually when we're out he's either getting to walk around or in the stroller and those are both great distractions for him. Usually when we're gone for a long period of time we're at my in-law's house, and I'll take him into the guest bedroom to nurse.
He's not gentle when he nurses, and I'm modest enough that I'm not comfortable with him yanking my top down, especially since he wants both boobs available at once (and goes back and forth between them quickly). I don't want my boobs completely exposed in public, and with the way he nurses they would be...
ETA: For me, limiting nursing to the bedroom (at least at home) gave me back the "where" and "how" of nursing. I will rarely deny him if he wants to nurse, so he still gets the "when", but taking him into his room and offering instead of letting him yank my shirt down over and over gives some semblance of balance back to our nursing relationship. The constancy and demand of it was driving me crazy, and having some sort of control over it has done a world a good for my patience.
An extra plus, it's calmer and darker and much less distracting in his room, so he'll nurse for a bit longer (still only a few minutes) and he's been trying to paw at me less when we're in the rest of the house.
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@lovehoneybee: hahah aww cute little E! That is so funny that he likes to switch back and fourth. A bit of a conundrum foroa but so funny.
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@MrsMccarthy: No suggestions but you aren't alone. DS is also 12.5m and has been greatly increasing the amount of time he nurses. If I stop a session (because I think he is done) he flails himself backwards and screams as if he's being tortured.
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