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@YogiRunner: Thanks, I know, I'm trying not to feel too guilty. Yesterday I got an invitation in the mail for a friend's shower. She and I have been out of touch, so I'm not surprised I didn't know she was pregnant, but she's one of the last people I thought wanted kids. She's not married, never likes to stay in one place or commit to anything, etc. But who knows, she may have tried for months. Or it could be an accident. But getting that invitation stung like crazy. It pushed me to call the fertility clinic to set up our first appointment. I found out that our insurance covers absolutely nothing, so it doesn't matter if I wait till I've been trying a year, and that my grandparents are eager to help with the money. So I decided it was time to come up with a plan!
That said, I'm hesitant to even say anything because I just really doubt it's possible, but I had an unusual amount of CM this morning, and usually by this point in the TWW I'm fairly sure I'm not pregnant, whereas this cycle I have this nagging feeling that something is different. I don't really have any symptoms, though, unless being over-tired and calling in sick to work for a mental health day counts! I guess I'll know by the middle of next week either way.
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@2farmmoms: OMG I'm crossing everything for you!!!
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@travellingbee: Thank you!! I wish I could stay home every day until next week. Even though obsessing isn't healthy, my super stressful work environment can't be healthy either! I worry about that when I'm there, which makes me more stressed. And there's probably no way it could make a difference, but I wonder if getting kicked in the belly and stomped on by 100 lb dogs makes it harder for implantation to occur. I'll just have to be careful the next few days.
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@2farmmoms: A talk with an RE and plan can do wonders for your mental health, so that is awesome! Crossing my fingers and toes for you.
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@YogiRunner: @2farmmoms: I agree with everything you two are saying. My sister in law just told us that they are preggo last night. I'm SO happy for them, but not as happy as I should be. She will be 37 this fall, so I have no idea what they went through (if anything) to get KU, but all I can do is think about our situation. I just feel like a sucky sister in law.
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@2farmmoms: I hope that these feelings that you are having turn into a BFP!!! Being overtired is certainly a symptom! How many DPO are you?
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@NorthStar: 6-8. FF and I disagree about ovulation day. But somehow around there!
I'm lucky so far most people I know who are pregnant (including nearly all of my cousins) live far away so I don't have the daily struggle of seeing them. My one cousin I'm closest to tried for three years and her first cycle on Clomid was successful. I'm truly thrilled for her because I know how hard it was. The others who seem so unhealthy in general and yet it just happens right on schedule, those are harder! -
@2farmmoms: It's sounding hopeful! Fingers crossed for you! I definitely felt like something was different (with no clear symptoms to explain it) with my last two bfp's, so really hoping this is it for you, and no need for the RE!
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@Torchwood: thank you! I'm trying to be positive without getting my hopes up. Not sure exactly how to accomplish that! I'd love to cancel that appointment though, and tell my grandparents we don't need their help for this!
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@2farmmoms: It is the hardest balancing act in the world. I tend to always fall in the realm of getting my hopes up too much. But honestly, the time I spend feeling positive doesn't really make it any harder if it doesn't work out.
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@Torchwood: good point. I heard something on a podcast that it's really critical to actually believe you will get pregnant. I think this makes a lot of sense, and can be so hard when it keeps not happening. But thinking positively and getting ones hopes up definitely help. And I think you're right, the disappointment is pretty much the same either way.
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@2farmmoms: Here's hoping that there's no disappointment this month!
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@2farmmoms: worst part about it everyone has been asking when we're having babies and I can't take it anymore. No one knows we're struggling and I want to keep it between my husband and I. It's too hard.
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@LoveHope: have you told anyone? I totally get wanting to keep it private, but for me it really helps having a select few people who know. They don't ask, but are super supportive when I need it. I think it would feel like more of a burden if I hadn't told anyone.
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@2farmmoms: I agree. We haven't told anyone at all but it's killing me inside. I'm going to have to say something soon for my own sanity.
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@LoveHope: I support that! If I hadn't told anyone, I never would've found out that my cousin had been trying for three years. The few months we were ttc at the same time, it sounds a great source of support for me. And knowing her sorry allowed me to be so much happier for her that it finally happened, and gave me some hope. I'm close to my mom too, and I can't imagine going through this without her.
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@LoveHope: Totally agree with @2farmmoms about letting someone know what you're going through (who you can trust). Howeverrrr I let one friend know a bit TOO much and she knew exactly where I was in my cycle, if I got a positive OPK etc, and as a result what day I was BD'ing and what day I was going to POAS... kept getting "how are you!" texts with smiley faces that just totally stressed me out, ha. I was like, okay you officially know too much, let's keep some mystery here!
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For me, I have a really hard time keeping anything private, so.... all of my close friends know. It helps, they are emotionally supportive, and several of them have opened up about their struggles with infertility (Not just TTC).
As for me, I'm CD9 over here, and clomid is totally messing with my temps and therefore messing with my head. The temps I'm getting are much more typical of post-O, and usually I have pretty steady, consistent, predictable temperatures. Also we get my husband's sperm analysis results back tomorrow or Friday, I am pretty anxious for those. At least this weekend is supposed to be my fertile window so it will be enjoyable
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@DesertDreams88: Hey, I'm CD 7, also on Clomid. And my husband just went in for his first semen analysis today, so we should be getting the results within a few days. I'm suuuuper anxious about it! Hoping both our guys check out well and that you have lots of fun this weekend!
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@YogiRunner: Please do! I'd host May but I'll be on vacation for a week - ready to get the month rolling though!
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@YogiRunner: yes please! I'm ready for May!
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POAS Dates BFPS - Aprilfool, Littlemisskeiko, Mrs.taco, Lovehoneybee, Travellingbee
4/3 – Beachlover1330
4/20 – Sugarplumsmom,
4/22 - Thepaperbutterfly
4/30 – Ballerinabee, 2farmmoms, Brianak, Lauraeva, JaguarRollover – Shantuck, Northstar, Auggiefrog, Aphelia, DesertDreams88, Ms.line, Love Hope, Mrsd2442, Punky, Aegie, Emily.cc, Shannonrenee0201, Cobee, Mrs.Pink, Honeygold89, Swoggette, Delight, Loscato, Hiker85, Temperancebrennan, Ladygrey
Cheerleader: Chaosmaven, Banddmommy, Fancyfunction, Simplyfelicity, Winterbee
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@travellingbee: congrats!
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@travellingbee: Congrats!
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@travellingbee: congrats!!!!
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@YogiRunner: let's do away with April and bring May on in. We're ready!
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@ms.line @aphelila @lovehope: Will do! You know what they say about those April showers...
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I stupidly took a digital with second morning urine and it was negative. That felt like a blow.
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@YogiRunner:
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@travellingbee: still early..
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@travellingbee: That sure looks good to me!
This TWW is killing me. I have a ton of cm which usually doesn't happen until just before AF is due. Plus I feel so exhausted, but that could be because I worked extra hard on my garden this weekend and totally overdid it. I'm trying not to get my hopes up but I feel like something is different this month. Plus my mom told me she thought I was starting to have morning sickness and that's why I'm so wiped out. So hard to wait!
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I know it's early but 9dpo and a BFN. I had a positive (uber uber squinter) with all three of pregnancies (even the low betas) by now last time.
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@jaguar: I really think you're still early! FXed for a BFP in the next couple of days!
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@travellingbee: I'm keeping all my fingers and toes crossed for you that this is it!
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FRER says negative. 11dpo. It's over.
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@jaguar:
I'm so sorry -
@jaguar:
so sad for you. I hope you have some good snuggles with DH and Georgia to get you through the next couple of days and figure out your next steps.
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@jaguar: I'm so sorry
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@jaguar: I'm so sorry. I really thought it was so promising with those light IC lines!
POAS Dates 
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