109 votes
persimmon / 1363 posts
I have asked my mom exactly twice in three years, both times I have been in the hospital. They live 3 hours away, but are gone for 6 months out of the year. My ILs we've never asked, but if either are here visiting we usually go out for dinner one night. It's a bummer because I could use the help, especially when pregnant!
kiwi / 698 posts
Between my mom and MIL, I would say maybe once or twice a month for a dinner out or an event of some sort.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Everyone lives too far away so we can't call them for help, unfortunately.
honeydew / 7230 posts
I wish my parents lived closer. I'd probably have my mom over daily just to hang out! We see my ILs once a week, but we only have them babysit a couple times a year after the kids are asleep.
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
We never ever ever ask my in laws. They see her daily but I will never ask them to babysit.
We ask my parents like every other month? But the girls see them weekly and we have dinner over there bi-weekly. My mom is super great and the best emtional support so sometimes she just kind of watches them without being asked. But I rarely ask
nectarine / 2878 posts
My parents help out whenever I ask, but we see them at least once a week, just to hang out.
persimmon / 1461 posts
My mum - pretty much every week. She lives 5 minutes away and looks after DD for a few hours maybe on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon so they can spend time together. She normally babysits her every second Monday as routine.
My MIL - every second Monday, but if I have an emergency she is quite happy to take her a few hours for playtime. She looks after the other grandkids too on some days of the week and likes to have them all together for play time, so I might go over and stay for an hour before popping out to do groceries and then come back.
persimmon / 1436 posts
Probably 5 days a week, they watch DD1 for an hour or so. DD2 is a newborn, so they have been coming over for a little bit to watch her so I can tidy up. They've also been doing preschool transportation for us. My inlaws are great and living about 5 houses away.
My parents live about 2.5 hours away and I ask them a few times a year. My inlaws take extended vacations out of state several times a year and I like to have backup care due to some chronic health problems DH has.
persimmon / 1043 posts
Mine are local but since our kids are in daycare and DH and I have pretty flexible work hours, we rarely "need" them to watch the kids. The last time my mom watched DD was when I was in the hospital delivering DS. She will watch the both of them when I deliver baby3.
My sis has babysat a couple of time this past year but only after they've already gone to bed.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Every time I give birth and 2-3 date nights a year.
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
My parents and my MIL live within 5 minutes, so we call them a lot! My mom doesn't work so she will often come and sit at my house during naptime so I can run errands kid free!
apricot / 451 posts
Rarely. Maybe 1-2 times a year? My parents are 1.5 hours away and my MIL is 15-20 minutes away BUT she doesn't drive at night, so they always have to spend the night when they watch LO. We have a 2 bedroom apartment in NYC, so it greatly inconveniences us when they stay over (LO can't sleep in her own room and she is usually keeping us up all night in our room due to the environment/routine change). Totally not worth it for a date night. We actually just rarely went out for my LO's almost first 2 years. 8 months ago we signed up with care.com and it has changed our lives! We go on dates again!
Fwiw she still sees grandparents about once every 2 months, but we always travel to them.
nectarine / 2115 posts
We live in New England but both sets of parents are in the South. So only once or twice a year, I guess.
papaya / 10343 posts
My parents are here a lot of their own choice, but I don't really ask them for much. Mostly I've only asked for help when I have an interview and my husband can't cover child care. Or this past week I asked if my mom wanted to come hang out for a while because my husband was out of town on business for a while and I knew I'd be bored. She did and it worked out well because I ended up with an interview when he was out of town that I couldn't have taken otherwise.
honeydew / 7283 posts
We've only asked my mom for childcare maybe 10 times in 3 years (although one was when I had LO2 and two other times were also for overnights). We've also asked her to sort of "monitor watch" after the kids are in bed while we go out if we are spending the night in the same place.
For emotional support - I call on my mom maybe every other day depending on how life is going. She's a huge support to me.
ETA: I should add - my mom has done a LOT of coming up here to play with the kids with me when DH is working late or traveling for work. It brightens everyones day to have her here.
cantaloupe / 6634 posts
They always offer but maybe once a month...my mom actually watched DS today so I could go to the doctor for mastitis. She also watched him while I took a nap.
honeydew / 7622 posts
I would not call it help but I'm hanging out with my mom 3x this week for 6-8 hours a day, I'm with her and T most of the time except for a couple dr appts.
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
It's hard to answer this question because we live pretty far away now. We've had grandparent visitors almost every month so far and expect that more or less for the foreseeable future (every other month for each set). So, we get to plan date nights and so forth then. I also know if all three of us were really really sick, or if we needed help for some other reason, my mom would be there in an instant.
When we lived in the same city as my parents, my mom provided regular childcare for LO and we leaned on them a lot. I miss it!
pear / 1648 posts
I really wish we could! I grew up with one set of local grandparents, so I really miss that extended family set-up.
DH's parents live 4 hours away from us, so they visit once every 2-3 months. My dad lives 15+ hours away from us - even flying, he'd still have to drive 4 hrs to an airport with reasonable flight prices, so we make an effort to see him a few times a year. My mom died less than a year ago and I'm really sad LO won't know her.
I'm really excited my sister will be moving to our city soon, though! DD loves her, so she will be a big help to us.
bananas / 9118 posts
Every few months we set something up to take a date night. Recently I called my mom since we were going through some job stress, so she stayed a couple days to help out. It was beyond appreciated and I think both grandparents and kiddos are enjoying the spoiling a lot now that they are a little older.
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