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@spaniellove: sorry, did you see my edit? I definitely only meant myself! Really, really REALLY did not mean this in general.
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@jillybean218: It's still triggering and offensive that you posted it at all, knowing that others would see it and take it to heart.
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@spaniellove: I'm sorry. I really didn't mean anything sinister or mean by it. I would remove it, but you've quoted me already.
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@sweetooth: we removed the duplicate post for ya!! Thanks to the person who flagged it...
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@jillybean218: uhhh, even if you were thinking it for yourself, you still probably just offended all the IFers who used some type of IF intervention (from meds, IUIs to IVF).
Breaks my heart that you think this way. It is your opinion and you are free to have it. I'm going to go cry in the corner for now.
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@bluestriped bee: I see now that I should have kept my opinion to myself. I am really sorry, and I removed my comment, although everyone can read the offending part quoted above.
So sorry.
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@mrbee: thank you! and thanks to the flagger too!
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@jillybean218: When you go through infertility you have plenty of dark, terror-filled moments. But we need to not get dragged down into the dark in order to stay strong, and we especially need those around us to be mindful of what they say.
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We're on the fence about this right now. My fiancé has done it once before in a previous relationship, it wasn't successful and it caused issues between the two of them and may have contributed to the breakdown of his marriage. Because of that it's something that we're both pretty gunshy about so we will be more likely to explore as many other options as possible before going to IVF.
Years from now though if we still haven't conceived it will definitely be an option.
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I am not in this situation so I can't say 100%, but I voted no. I don't think we could pay for it, for starters, and it's not covered in our insurance. Plus, I have learned from these boards about all the hard ethical decisions that can come into play as a result, from what to do with the "left over" embryos to decisions about selective reductions, etc. So for several reasons I just don't think I would go down that road.
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I think that it is a tough decision unless you are in that position, I would consider it but if I felt that it would be too much of a strain on my marriage and health I think I would remain child free. But it's difficult to know unless you are faced with that situation.
With that said, my fingers and toes are crossed for you @Leialou! -
Before we conceived P, DH & I had a very long talk about the ifs of possibly not being able to conceive. DH underwent chemo & radiation as a teen for Hodgkins Lmyphoma so we really weren't sure if he would be able to get me pregnant. Even knowing that I was not okay with seeking infertility help IF we struggled (it's something feel I could say I am 100% not okay with seeking due to other past issues & current personal convictions).... it just wasn't something I would ever be open too. Even after having P the concern was still there that maybe she "was it", but it's still not something I would be okay doing. We might have considered adopting, but since we never got there to that point it wasn't fully discussed how, if, or when we'd go that route.
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@Leialou: Good luck! We're all routing for you and your husband. It is a huge step.
I don't know what we would do. I'm sure we could consider it, but I think b/c adoption is already on my mind, I would pursue that over IVF.
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I'm in the definitely maybe camp. While I hope we can conceive without it, I'm not ruling it out entirely. When looking at the cost compared with adoption and the fact that neither really guarantees a baby, just provides a hope to have one.
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I voted yes. I hope it does not come to that point for us, but DH and I are just finishing our 2nd year TTC and it is a very real possibility.
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@runsyellowlites: " (it's something feel I could say I am 100% not okay with seeking due to other past issues & current personal convictions)."
Can you tell me what you mean by this?
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Yes, definitely would consider IVF
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@Happygal: I'd actually prefer not to share or expound on it. I did mean exactly what it says though... because of some past issues & personal convictions it is not something I would seek out.
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@jillybean218: I didn't see what your original response was and I think I'm glad I didn't because I went through IVF less than a year ago. I can guess what it said though. I just went back and read your introduction post and want to sincerely say good luck TTC. My RE diagnosed me as being on the cusp of PCOS. I needed Clomid in order to ovulate but IUI didn't work for us because my husband has issues as well. That's why we tried IVF. I would've given anything to conceive naturally but it didn't happen for us. I hope it does for you!
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I would consider it! But I might be more inclined to look into adoption, personally. The cost of IVF would likely scare me off.
Oh and congrats! I am excited for you and hope it goes smoothly!! Keeping my fingers crossed for you
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I am intrigued by those who have not had to face infertility that say that they wouldn't do IVF. I think it's hard to say unless you're facing it, especially if you haven't carried a child before. I would do it again in a heartbeat, and probably will have to if we decide on more kids. I think that the physical toll that it takes on one's body is miniscule compared to the emotional effects of not being able to conceive. Adoption can end up being just as expensive as IVF, and it's also not a guarantee- I have a friend of a friend who took home two different babies, and then mother changed their minds and they had to give the baby back. I don't think that anything I went through could compare to that.
@Leialou: best of luck!
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@sloaneandpuffy: that is so well said And exactly how I feel. I support those who do, and I am not sure what I would decide, if I got to that point. It just makes.me uncomfortable that you will likely be placed in a situation with no clear answers, and I'm not comfortable with that right now. Maybe I would be in the future, I don't know. But I love that it has brought so many great happiness!
So much good luck to you!!!
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@meganmp: Agreed, you don't know how you'll really feel about it until you're there. I'll admit that once upon a time I said unkind things about an acquaintance whom we suspected used ART to have her kids...because at the time I had no idea what it felt like to want it so badly and have that be the only option. But when it became our only option (and it doesn't make sense to expect people to embrace adoption just because they're experiencing infertility any more than it would to expect random couples to embrace adoption), we knew we had to take the plunge. We didn't want to look back one day and feel like we didn't try absolutely everything...in DH's words, there are so many other things we spend money on that are insignificant compared to IVF.
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Of course, it is different since I haven't faced infertility, but I personally don't think it's a choice I would've made. I know for 100% fact DH would not have been on board. A very close family member did IVF so I'm somewhat familiar with the process (and wonderful results!) but it's not something we would've chosen to pursue.
Good luck I hope this is your first & last cycle and you have a baby in your near future
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@spaniellove: I very much see your point. I'm realizing that so many of my views on TTC/IF are evolving as I go along my journey. All I can say is how I feel right now, that some parts of it make me uncomfortable. But should we get there, I suspect I'll want to do all I can to have a family. I don't know if that will mean IVF, but it might. It may also mean adoption, not sure. I guess my outlook would be different then, so I can't very well say now how I would choose.
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I would consider it!
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