To preface, this question is pure curiosity & not meant to be critical at all! I feel like I read so much about women who have infertility troubles and go to IVF. Both IVF and adoption are expensive and not guaranteed- so I'm curious as to why IVF seems to be the more common alternative. Only with adoption...it's only expensive if it actually works out. Does anyone have any insight to this? Are there pros to IVF that make it preferable to adoption?- I've just always wondered.
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we did ivf because they couldn't find a problem with us and we wanted biological kids. (we did some clomid and iui with no results and the next step was to do some hormone injections, which is much cheaper than ivf but chances of getting pregnant was just barely higher than doing it naturally AND you had to get the same kind of shots you get with ivf, so we wanted to bypass all that.)
we're definitely open to adoption, but we wanted to try the biological route first. i got pregnant on first try and am 13+ weeks now with two babies! so was it worth it? i think i got my money's worth! also, i have excellent insurance who paid 80% of my fees. so for us to try was a no brainer.
chances of getting pregnant via ivf is significantly higher than trying to do it naturally. some doctors say 50%. i think we would have tried at least 1 cycle even if the insurance didn't pay for it - but honestly, money's not really an issue for us and it may be for most people.
also, my doctor thought i had a really good shot because 1. i've gotten pregnant before, 2. i was still relatively young (under 35), and 3. there was no "problem" they found in me so...
now with 2 babies on the way, both my husband and i totally think it was worth it and we're so glad we didn't wait longer than we've already waited.
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Tequier021: Sooo glad to hear the IVF worked for you...and on the first try!
I personally have no interest to go as far as IVF. We actually started the adoption process, but had issues with our agency (after 9 months of paperwork and we were already homestudy approved), so we decided to put the adoption process on hold for now; we'll visit it again later though. I'm sure of it.
So, we're back to TTC again. I have no known infertility issues, but we have not been able to get preggers. We're currently in the process of getting tested and all and we might try IUI, but I don't want to go as far as IVF. Mainly because I feel that I could do an international adoption for the same $$ and have better odds (our insurance doesn't cover anything other than fertility testing).
It's been a stressful road for us.
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I think the biggest factor is that people want the chance to have biological children. This has a lot of aspects to it, but I think most people understand the pull to create a life with their partner. We also feel like trying IVF prior to adoption was just the natural progression for us. That we would feel more whole heartedly invested in the adoption process if we had given all the bio options our best go.
Reasons we're choosing to try IVF before international adoption:
-IVF is cheaper than adoption, especially if we get twins out of ivf and/or it works in the first few tries. IVF also allows you to freeze extra embryos for potential siblings, and an FET is again much cheaper than both full blown IVF or an adoption for any additional children.
-IVF is faster than adoption, if it works in the first few tries. The fastest adoptive program we've found is about a year and a half til baby comes home.
-Ability to 'get' a newborn with IVF. The youngest child we've been told to expect with adoption is about 1-1.5 years. We would definitely mourn missing out on our adopted child's early months.
-Ability to control the prenatal environment. We can know for sure that I will not be abusing substances and will be getting good medical care, should I get pg from IVF. With adoption, you generally get little to no medical history on the parents or the child.Those are the biggies. They are all things that we'll definitely 'get over' should IVF fail and we end up adopting. And once the child is in our arms, however it gets there, it won't matter a bit. But that's why we've decided to try IVF first.
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I don't think IVF and adoption can be viewed as interchangeable. Adopting a baby is a substitute like when you run out of milk and use half and half instead. I think it's a disservice to everyone involved when the chain of thought is along the lines of "we couldn't get pregnant so we adopted you instead."
*Disclaimer: I know that isn't the implication of anyone here, I've seen this topic come up on several blogs lately and wanted to add this element to the discussion.
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@EEH: I think I get where you're coming from. Adoption is a totally different process, and involves totally different long term parenting strategies than biological children. You love an adopted child the same as you would a bio child, and it's not better or worse, but it's different. Even our adoption counselor has reinforced this with us.
However, to some extent, the "we couldn't get pregnant, so we adopted you" can be inevitable. Obviously you'd never say that to a kid like that, but sometimes that's life. Fertility struggles are what lead a lot of people to adoption. I'd rather be a family with adopted children than not have a family at all.
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@marikoono - thanks! we're very excited! just praying for the best.
@merryc - good luck with the whole process!
@eeh - know what you mean, but i agree with merryc. although i would love my adopted kid, it wouldn't be the same as having a biological child. it would be "different"....
for us, if we went the adopted route, it would have been because we couldn't get pregnant on our own. but i have enough love for any child. whether from me or not.
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@tequiero: Thanks so much! and congrats on your success(es)!
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@merryc - thanks! let me know if you have any questions and i'll try my best to answer!
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I'm adopted (@6weeks old) and I want to try IVF before we move onto adoption. I really want to have a biological child of our own - I want to have someone with biological connections on this Earth who I know. It may sound strange...
I also want to experience pregnancy.
Adoption is definitely not out of the question though it is much farther down the road for us.
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I dont see how IVF and Adoption are even comparable. People go through IVF because they want to experience pregnancy and have a biological child. It is totally a different experience from adopting a child.
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@MrsBells Agreed. For me, they are totally different. We are spending beaucoup dollars on a small chance at IVF because my husband and I want our own biological child. Plus, I want to experience pregnancy! If this doesn't work (one or two rounds of IVF), then we will definitely adopt. But having a bio child is by far our first choice!
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